Keeping quiet.

I've been super busy lately. It seems all I ever do these days is work, cook, and sleep. Oh, and run around. I can't recall the last time Peter and I had an entire weekend to ourselves, just to do nothing in particular. We've had something to do every weekend for I don't know how long. It'd be nice to get some time to spend just relaxing.

The constant working thing isn't too terrible. I've been getting some extra work here and there which is nice since our modest sized wedding is turning into a huge event. Luckily, we're doing everything way before we "need" to. We've had our hall since December, our DJ since January, and we got our cake and photographer booked back in April. We've been putting every extra cent we can into a special bank account just for the wedding, and then keep giving payments to everyone so our end balance is manageable. It's a lot of work, and we don't really have any money to spend on anything extra, but it will work out in the end. Especially now more than ever; my regular job is cutting my hours. Actually, they're doing it to all the part time people, so it's not just me. I'm going to lose about $200 a month, which pretty much only leaves me with just barely enough money to make my bills, and get gas. Nothing much left for the wedding fund. I'll probably have Mondays off now, so maybe I can get another part time job. I've been applying at other places for something full time, but nothing yet.

Peter and I do our best to regularly have sex. For a while, we were down to maybe once a week, part of it was due to my erratic period, but also his back (I'll get to that). I was dealing with bleeding and cramping for two weeks straight. My doctor switched my brand of birth control, and three months later.....I'm pretty sure it's finally back to normal.

We've played a bit here and there. Peter had been having severe back pain, and when he went to his doctor, they said he has degenerative disk disease. We've only had one long session in the last few months, but he had to stop when his back pain made it difficult for him to stand much longer. Most of our playing lately involves me getting spankings, him choking me, or I get slapped. Which a little of any of those can go a long way for me.

Yesterday, I came home from work early. It worked out because Peter was asked to take on some overtime this week (he was asked to come in at 2am, and leave at his normal 2pm time). So he was going to have to go to bed early. He was already pretty tired from work, but I wanted to make sure he would really get a good sleep in, so I was hoping for us to fuck before he went to bed. That got pushed a little sooner when we were watching TV, and he made me take off my shirt. I would have been fine, but he kept pinching my nipples, plus his erection was just staring at me. It was all very distracting. We moved to the bedroom, closed the windows, and got to it. Our neighbors were having a graduation party, and our bedroom is RIGHT next to their driveway, which was where they had all the table and chairs set up for their guests. Being quiet really isn't my strong point. Masturbating alone, sure. But when I'm not focusing on what I'm doing, I kind of just...let go. I had to use a pillow to silence my cries when he made me cum. Something switched in Peter after that moment. He held down one of my wrists with one hand, and squeezed my throat with the other. The tighter he squeezed both of his hands, the bigger his grin was, and the harder his cock felt. He ordered me to cum for him. With my free hand, I made that happen. Since it's been a minute, I didn't thank him right away and he smacked me a couple times, and pushed my head deep into the pillows until I said thank you. He held me down and fucked me harder until he came. I got smacked a few more times for not thanking him for his cum. All I could do when he pulled out was smile. Everything just felt so amazing. He's smacked me a few times in the last few months, but not this hard and it just drove me crazy. I loved every second of it.

Today, I have to work. I got up, showered, and when I went to go do my makeup, I noticed a mark on my face. The blood vessels have been broken, and it looks only a tiny bit bruised. Incredibly hot to me, but then I remembered work. It wouldn't be a big deal except I have to work a festival today. Hundreds of people. No one will probably notice, but my boss might, and he might say something. I did my very best to cover it up (two layers of liquid foundation, plus a dusting of this cover up powder). It's still slightly there, but maybe my boss won't notice.

I'm actually at work right now, but I don't have to go outside for a few more minutes. I came in early so I could work on a side project (off the clock, obviously). I should go pack up and head out though. I just wanted to give a small update.

Hope you all are doing well!

Hello, 2012!

A LOT has happened since my last update. Many doctors appointments, a mini vacation, proposal, some light play, and lots and lots of work.

Last update, I was having pain issues during sex. After many doctor appointments, a vaginal exam, two ultrasounds, and more doctors....they are chalking it up to cysts. The pain had gone by the time I went for the ultrasounds, and then those results came back clear. Then after talking with my mom, she said that lady part cysts actually ran in the family. So lucky me, I get to deal with those. That could explain why I have such painful periods. The last couple of months had me really worried though because I was having a period last anywhere from 8 to 14 days. One possible cause could be that I am probably anemic. The other could have been my brand of birth control. So I've been told to work on eating more iron rich foods, and my doc also switched my birth control brand. I really wanted the one that makes it so you have four periods a year, but apparently since I go through planned parenthood, the government won't pay for it (it's apparently very expensive), so I couldn't get it. Maybe when I get insurance I will. I had to go to my regular family doctor the week before Peter's birthday. I was REALLY sick, and hadn't been able to kick the cold I had, and have been having on and off for the last six months or more. She gave me a shot of some sort of antibiotic, then gave me a z-pack. The cold was gone before his birthday thankfully.

Speaking of his birthday....this year, we decided to take a little trip to Chicago. I had never been, and we wanted to do something fun and different for his birthday. We left really early Saturday morning to hop on the MegaBus (they day after his birthday), and arrived in Chicago around 11am. We ended up getting lost trying to find the right train to take us to our hotel. I ended up tripping and falling, scraping the hell out of my hands and knees. Once we found the train and were on our way to the hotel, I sat and picked cement bits out of my palms. Peter had seen broken glass where I fell, but luckily I didn't land on any. Once we got to the hotel, I cleaned my hands as best I could. My knees didn't look too bad (luckily I had jeans on), but with the force that I hit the ground with.....they were in so much pain. The hotel was nice enough to supply me with some big bandages for my hands before we left to have dinner with one of my friends who just moved there. After dinner, we wandered down to Navy Pier. I was hoping to see another dear friend, but we kept missing each others texts. Which turned out to be just fine because once we were down near the end of the pier, Peter dropped down to one knee and proposed! The girly-girl in me has been super excited ever since. We already have a ton of stuff done for the wedding, even though we aren't getting married until next June. We just wanted to have as much time as possible to save up.

I didn't get my clear bill of health until the end of January, so there really hasn't been any play since we didn't know if there was something wrong with me, and we didn't want to accidentally cause any more harm. Since then, we've had some light play action. No toys have been use. Mostly just him holding me down, smacking my tits, choking......enough play to give me a couple small bruises here and there, and some REALLY sore spots. I'm hoping to do more soon, though I feel I may need to retrain my pain threshold. It's been so long since we've had a nice, hard romp, I'm afraid I've grown weak. I am all for building my tolerance back up though!

Work has been keeping us both busy. Now that we are saving up for this big, extravagant wedding, we don't have much money to spend doing other stuff. Which actually isn't as bad as you think. We still have tons of fun together. We've been playing catch up with shows on the DVR. Now that our schedules aren't too crazy, we are actually able to cook and have dinner together again which has been really great. Sometimes I'll go to the gym after work so our time together before we go to bed is a little less (we go to bed around 9 now since Peter has to be up by 4am for work). And since I'm still waking up a lot during the night, but not nearly as much as before (over a year after my brothers death, and I'm still working on this whole dealing with it thing). I'm REALLY behind on my comics. I have a stack of probably 50 or more that I still have to read. I got really behind when I got super sick in October. And then with all the stuff going on, I didn't have much time to catch up. So I'm still playing catch up. I think I've finally read all of our comics that came out in December, so that's a relief, but I'm still wayyy behind.

This work week has flown by. Tomorrow I don't work, but I'll be working on wedding stuff until Peter gets home. I decided I didn't want real flowers at the wedding, so I'm making all of them by hand with fabric and buttons. It's a very long process, but it's pretty fun! I'll also be making some decorations for the shower and ceremony site, as well as our card box. I'm pretty excited! I can't wait to be married to Peter.

I just got over a small cold earlier this week, and Peter is getting over his cold. He wanted to have sex last night, but he had such a bad headache yesterday that didn't go away until really late that I didn't want to risk him getting it back. He's been feeling fine today, so maybe I'll get lucky tonight. ^_^

Can't catch a break.

I have the weakest immune system it seems. Always have, even when I was a kid. Some of my friends have said "you think it's because you're a vegetarian?". Simple answer is no, because my immune system has always been shit. But when I think about it more, it probably doesn't help. The first couple years after I went vegetarian, there was no change. I still got sick as much as I used to, nothing different. It's only been the last two or three years that I've dealt with issue after issue. I was vegan for one most of that time, but right around the time I moved back in with my parents last year I went back to being just a vegetarian. There wasn't a whole lot of room in their fridge for my special vegan food. Plus, being a cheese lover, I did buy a lot of vegan cheese. Which is very expensive. The whole reason I moved back in with my parents was to save some money. Can't do that when I'm spending $10 on a pound of "cheese". Anyway.....my point is, I've dealt with more in the last nine months health-wise than I have my whole life. What with catching every cold I come in contact with, or the kidney infection, or tooth infections...And most recently, I've dealt with a horrible cold PLUS a really terrible pain. Where was the the pain? Oh, you know, somewhere in my girly parts. Peter couldn't fuck me without me being in pain. Two doctor appointments later, we're still not sure exactly what it is. They think it's either an ovarian cyst, or polyps. They want me to get an ultrasound to be sure. But since those are really expensive, and I'm pretty much broke, that's going to be really tough to accomplish. Luckily, I'm not in any pain anymore. My doctor said if it is a cyst, the hormones in my birth control should take care of it. I still have to make my appointment for the ultrasound (because the office I went to didn't have the machine, so they're sending me somewhere else). But I can't make my appointment until I have the cash because it is one of those places where you have to pay for your procedure the same day. Luckily, it's one of those low-cost places, but it's still something I can't afford right now. Peter suggested we do as much saving for it as we can, and make the appointment when we can. If the pain comes back before we get the money, then I'm not sure what we'll do. We'll figure something out I guess.

We've had sex three times since my last doctors appointment. And I've had no pain, so that's a really good thing. The pain came about a week and a half before I had my period, so I suppose I'll watch for that again this month. But for now, I'm going to enjoy my pain-free sex.

Ok, not entirely pain-free. Peter wanted to fuck this morning, and I was down for that since we didn't get a chance to yesterday. It was great how he brought it up, too. I had just put the kettle on for my oatmeal, and let the dogs outside. He had already been up for a couple hours, but let me sleep in. He told me "ok, so here's what I was thinking. After you eat, we go fuck, finish the touch-ups in the second bedroom, then go to the store. I'd say we go fuck now, but you just started your breakfast." So we did just that (we've been painting the second bedroom in the house for the last few days, just to clear that part up). When we got to the bedroom, he started to pull off my clothes. Once he had me naked, he played with my pussy before pushing me over the edge of the bed. My cunt was starting to get pretty wet, and he worked on it more before pushing his cock in me. We haven't fucked like that in a while, so the feeling was incredible. After a few minutes, he pulled out and went to the foot of the bed. He had brought out our suitcase full of toys a few weeks ago, but didn't get a chance to use anything since I started having pains. He searched for a few moments, then came back with the flogger. My favorite. He knows this. I think this is why he chose it for our first fun thing in a long time. The first few whips were relatively soft, but that didn't last long. I thought he was going to go easy on me, figuring since it had been so long I might not be able to handle anything too rough. I was wrong; he didn't hold back. After squirming and screaming for a few minutes, he told me to turn around and suck his cock. While I sucked on him, he continued to flog me. He's never flogged me while I sucked his cock before, and I must say it was fantastic. He was enjoying it, too. I can only imagine how the vibrations from my muffled cries felt on his cock. I tried to take him completely in, but of course I choked on his size. He took the opportunity to flip me around, and push me back onto the bed. Forcing his cock back inside my now soaking wet cunt, he fucked and flogged me. Telling me how good of a little slut I am. After awhile, my back went numb. The feeling became more comforting than painful, and I knew he still wasn't holding back. When I looked behind me, I saw how he wound up before bringing the flogger down on me. I knew it should probably hurt, but it didn't. Not really, anyway. He fucked me harder, and flogged me faster. He stopped flogging me only to make me cum with his hands, reaching down to rub my clit. I came with a force, pushing him out. He pushed back in, and continued to fuck me. Harder and harder. I felt him begin to swell inside of me. But I didn't get to feel him explode. He pulled out, and came all over my back and my ass. He demanded my manners, and I said "thank you". He went to grab a warm rag to clean me up with.

With being on all the antibiotics I've been on recently, he's done a lot of pulling out just to be safe. Which is fun if you like being covered in cum. Lucky for me, I actually enjoy it. The only thing I don't enjoy is when it gets in my belly button. I hate that. But I take it, just the same, because that's what I do. I'm his little cum slut. And I take it with pride.

After we were done though, we sat on the bed and just talked. Well, I talked. I looked over at him and noticed him not only staring at me, but he had this amazing smile on his face. I asked him, "what?", and he just said how he enjoyed watching me think. You don't realize it all the time, but sometimes when you live with someone....things just become a day to day thing. I think after the flogging, it sort of woke something up. Peter does a wonderful job of letting me know he loves and adores me, and how sexy he finds me. But it's been a while since he's looked at me that way. It was just really nice. 



I just started listening to some of the Erotic World podcasts, and they're quite entertaining. Lacy reads some erotica on it, and on the blog she links to the person's page who wrote it. Which leads you to reading even more erotica. I've read a lot tonight, and I have to say. I can't wait for Peter to get home tonight. Though I have a bad feeling he is going to have to work late. I really hope not. My cunt is aching for him again. And after how well I took that flogging today, I am ready for more. I'm craving it more than ever. 

Everybody has issues.

Even with all of the events going on in my life right now, I want to keep writing in here. I might not have a bunch of new stories, but maybe I can just talk about the life Peter and I lead and maybe go more into the dynamic of our relationship. Maybe not…..who knows. Just a heads up that there might not be a whole lot of new kinky tales. They will probably pop up here and there until things settle down, but I will do my best to write in as much detail as I can when they do happen. Today there will be a short one.

Peter hasn’t been feeling very good lately, he started to come down with something. We weren’t sure what, but after looking online at his symptoms we were almost positive it was either salmonella or a horrible version of the stomach flu. I know salmonella would have been a huge stretch, but he had more of the symptoms to that than he did the stomach flu (although the symptoms are quite similar). It wasn’t until he was at work yesterday when out of nowhere his fever came back and he developed serious sinus pressure and congestion (which he has not had the whole time he’s been ill). He decided to go to the doctor after work, and found out he had a bad sinus infection. The doc still checked him out for all the other issues he had before the horrible congestion, but basically it was all leading up to this. Go figure. That wasn’t even one of the possibilities when we checked his symptoms online (obviously we understand the web isn’t a medical professional, but it was still odd). His doctor gave him super antibiotics that will hopefully kick the shit out of this infection because this is the second sinus infection he’s had in the last three months or so. I’m really hoping for the light at the end of the tunnel to appear at any moment.

The other night when Peter wasn’t feeling too terrible, he told me to go to the bedroom and get naked because he wanted to see my ass. I did as I was told, and he bent me over the bed. He began to swat at my bottom with his bare hands. We had just walked in from outside not long before, so my body was still so cold which made each crack hurt a little more than normal. I quickly warmed up to his touch as he continued to wail on my ass. Turning me so that I could suck his cock while he continued to spank my ass, he made sure my pussy was nice and wet for him before he bent me back over the bed and began to fuck me. Sir moved his hand between my legs as he pounded away into me. He rubbed my clit until I asked permission to cum. Once permission was given, I didn’t hold back. I gushed all over, soaking the floor beneath me, part of the bed frame, the skirt I had taken off prior to fucking, as well as myself. My own juices dripped down my legs as he began to fuck me harder. A few moments later, he flipped me over onto my back and pushed himself deep inside. Sir held his hand to my throat and pressed his thumb hard against my soft skin. Slapping me a few times, asking if I enjoy the fucking he is giving me…the little slut that I am. When he came, he was painfully deep inside my cunt and it felt so powerful. I was allowed to clean myself up before coming back to bed to lay down. He did not make me clean up the mess I had made on the floor, he soaked it up with my skirt while I cleaned myself up.

Earlier this week there was a submissive munch going on not terribly far from where we live. I figure it would be a nice way to meet other submissives in the general area, and just get to know someone out this way. Most of my friends live close to an hour away which isn’t terribly far. But to just go grab a cup of coffee or a drink, the drive can be a bit much. I talked to Peter about this and he was a little unsure of it at first, but knew it was something I really wanted to at least try. Unfortunately by the time I had learned about the munch, it was only a few days away, and I still have a lot of healing to do from all the crap that has been going on in my life. I have been keeping to myself for the most part which doesn’t make me the greatest friend right now. Luckily my closest friends are very understanding of the situation, although some do wish I would talk about my issues more. For me, it’s a matter of feeling like a burden or a downer. I don’t like dropping my problems on other people if I can help it. I do talk to Peter about a lot of stuff, but I feel like I’m a downer even with him. He doesn’t give off the impression that I’m bringing him down or anything, I just don’t want to accidentally bring him down with me. He has enough on his plate with work, car, and health problems that I don’t want him to worry about my stuff on top of it all. I expressed this to him, and he made me feel more comfortable. He explained that we’re a team now, and my problems are ours now, and we will deal with them together. Which me being the type of person I am makes me worry more because I don’t want him to have to worry about all the stuff I do. Which, he doesn’t. He’s the type of person who can see a problem, and ignore it if it isn’t actually his problem. For instance, my mother is having issues right now. They don’t directly involve me, but I know a lot about what is going on so she vents to me. I get so involved emotionally with the issues that it gets me worked up and worried, which leads to many panic attacks. Most of which happen when Peter is not home (she has a knack for calling when he isn’t home). Then by the time he gets home, even if I had a good day, I’m drained of everything and I just sulk. He understand that I’m going through a lot on my own, and he has been wonderful trying to help me get through the bad days, but he hates that I get so worked up over something that is not my problem. I’ve tried telling my mother that she needs to talk to a therapist instead, but it’s hard. I feel like I have to sugar-coat it because I don’t want her to think she can’t talk to me. It just gets frustrating when she asks for advice about the same thing over and over again and then blatantly ignores my suggestions every single time. I understand times are tough and she can’t get to a therapist because of the cost (even with her insurance), but she needs to do something. As do I, but I’m working on it. Sort of.

Anyway. My birthday is coming up, and I’m trying to figure out what I want to wear for whatever I end up doing. I’m considering ordering something awesome from Trashy.com, or just get something from Noir Leather next time I’m out that way. I still haven’t decided what I want to do for my birthday, but I know it will involve dressing up fancy for a nice dinner with my friends, and who knows after that. The idea of going to this place called City Club has been brought up, but I’ve only been there a couple of times and it gets quite crowded and warm in there. Or I could just skip that, and just come home after dinner and have fun with my Sir. I still have some time to think about it before the actual day. Hopefully I can figure out something to do by then.

Tush is a little bruised.

I swear....if it's not one thing, it's another. I started to develop a cough at some point last week, and it only seemed to get worse. Determined to not get sick, I tried to ignore it and just use some cough drops. Peter and I attempted to do a little playing Wednesday night. He tied my wrists up and brought out the Wartenberg wheel. He ran it all up and down my back, ass, and legs. Leaving tiny dotted lines all over my skin. He got out the plastic paddle and started to give me a good spanking. I'm assuming a combination of not feeling great and my senses being heightened, as well as it had been a long time since I've been really paddled made the next thing happen. I cried out for him to stop, then I rolled over to my side. He kept telling me to roll over in a forceful voice, and for some reason, I just didn't want to. I apparently wasn't in the headspace I should have been in, and I just blanked. Finally I rolled over and he ran his hands across my bottom. Then he untied me, and we stopped. I didn't want him to really, but he could tell something was wrong. Why didn't I roll over when he asked? He told me he wasn't going to paddle me again right away and that I should have just trusted him. For some strange reason, I was unsure if he would paddle me again. There has never been a time where I felt like that before, and it didn't even seem right for me to feel like that. He had done nothing wrong....I just wasn't there. Apparently my body wasn't ready for all of that and it knew, but I didn't. I was so focused on getting some play time since we haven't played in so long that I didn't even consider the idea that I might not be able to get into the proper headspace at that moment because I was about to get very ill. We did eventually have sex that night, but it wasn't rough at all. Peter was very gentle, and everything felt incredible.

Thursday I ended up going to the doctor because it appeared I was getting sick (big surprise). Not the typical head cold. It was all in my chest, and I couldn't stop coughing. According to the doctor, I have bronchitis, pharyngitis, and an upper respiratory infection. She told me to keep taking the medicine I was taking (Robitussin DM, Claritin D, and Musinex D), and then gave me a prescription for an anti-biotic. Go big or go home, right? So annoying. I spent the next couple of days trying to feel better. By Saturday night I was feeling a bit better, just a little tired. I asked Peter again if we could play, but nothing too hard or crazy. Since I was still sick, plus it had been so long since I've had a good beating I figured a little light play would be a great way to get me back into the swing of things. We weren't able to have regular sex though because I was to see my gyno on Monday for my annual exam, and you're not supposed to have vaginal intercourse a couple days before that. So he started off by having me bend over on the bed, and he dragged the flogger up and down my back. The feel of the streams running up and down my back were so familiar and comforting. The first few whips were soft and gentle, like streamers on a bicycle brushing against your skin as they blow in the summer breeze. Peter began to flog me a little harder every few whips or so, then stopping again to caress my skin with the streams of the flogger. After a few moments, he had me turn around to suck his cock; my reward for doing such a good job of taking my flogging. Peter brought out the paddle and swatted one cheek at a time, caressing the reddened cheek with his hands between ever few. After several switches between cheeks, he would allow me to suck on him again, then it was back to my paddling. Harder and harder he hit, the right cheek seemed to be more sensitive than the left to the beating. Finally, he said "one more good one" before letting me take his cock into my mouth once more. He fucked my mouth for a few minutes as he told me how such a good girl I was, and allowed me to play with my pussy while my tongue danced around his cock. He told me to turn back around, and put my ass in the air for him. Sir rubbed my asshole with his finger tips, then switched to tease it with the tip of his cock before grabbing the lube to get me ready for him. Praising my devotion to please him, he pushed himself inside my ass slowly and gently. Once Sir was balls deep in my ass, he told me I was such a good girl. He allowed me to continue to rub my pussy while he fucked me. When I felt an orgasm coming on, I begged for him to allow it. He asked me a few questions like if I really wanted it, and how close I was....just tormenting me, and keeping me on the edge before he granted me permission. I came a couple times before he unloaded into me. It was a pretty interesting night, and my ass still doesn't feel right. I told him we may have to give my ass a break from sex for a while, and he is alright with that.

I am completely frustrated with his work right now. They made him work 4pm to 4am last Monday (but he didn't find this out until after he had started his shift that was supposed to only last until midnight), and then they promised he wouldn't have to do it again this Monday. They lied. He sent me a text to say he most likely will have to do it again. I know we can use the money, but I hate that they are wearing him down like this. It is most likely going to make his body less resistant to sickness from all the stress and lack of sleep, and he is probably going to catch what I have. We have had enough bad luck with crap just happening. Yes, I am very grateful that he even has a job in this economy, and I know I should just can it but...I just worry about his health. Physical and mental health.

One good thing about when I go home today: I get to open a package that came for me today. I had ordered shoes from Snaz57 over a week ago, and Peter said it got delivered. Nothing too fancy, just a cute pair of mary jane's and then a pair of calf boots. I already feel like an amazon as it is a 5'6", so I know I don't need 3 inch heels but.....I loved these soo much, I couldn't pass them up. Peter and I want to go to the Dirty Show this weekend, but those plans are still up in the air. If we do go, I may wear one of my new pairs of shoes out for it.

I suppose I can break off now. I have a few more things I want to get done before I leave work tonight, then it's off to dance around in my new shoes, and then curl up with the TV.

Dealing with loss.

I started writing this entry basically the day after my last entry because like I said, I wanted everything to be fresh, and with every detail I could muster up. Unfortunately, more sickness as well as tragic events shook things up....



Tuesday, January 25th when I got home, Peter was on the couch so I went to go relax with him. I kicked my legs up on his lap while we tried to figure out what to do for dinner. He started smacking my leg repeatedly. I tried to make him stop a couple times until I realized he wasn't doing it to be a dick....he was prepping my skin. It's been a while since I've had a good beating, so basically I've gone soft. I took it for a while, my skin was red hot, until he decided to give me a break. We went out, did dinner, then came back and started preparing fruit bowls for the week. By the time we finished that, it was late and he had to get up early for work (by early I mean 1am). He gave me a choice; either we could have fun that night but not to the full extent we were hoping (and risk him being exhausted for work), or we could have fun the next day and really go all out. I opted for the latter, but we still had sex. When we got to the bedroom, he pinched my nipples and forced me to my knees. I told him that I thought we weren't doing the whole shebang, and he simply said that that doesn't mean I can't be on my knees for him. I sucked on him for a while, then he told me to get myself ready for his cock. I lubed up while I continued to suck on him a few minutes longer, then he had me get on my knees on the bed. He fucked me for a while, and couldn't stop grabbing my ass and just staring at it. He hasn't fucked it in so long and I know he really wants to. Even if I hadn't known before we started to fuck, I would have because he kept circling my hole with his thumb as he fucked my cunt. Eventually he had me flip over so he could be on top of me. He told me he wanted me to cum for him, so I began to touch myself. It was in this moment when I realized just how much it turns me on to watch him watch me masturbate. I don't know if it's just that he was watching that, or the fact that he was watching me touch myself while he fucked me. Either way....it was hot, and I came so fucking hard. I started to play with his nipples when he moved back down closer to me, something I noticed a few nights ago that really does it for him. Flicking my tongue against them, sucking gently on them, pinching them...it drives him wild. I found a nice rhythm between what he liked while he fucked me. Listening to him moan, his cock swelling inside of me, the familiar rhythm of him moving in and out of me pushed me over the edge again. Peter loves it when I am actually able to cum without the use of hands or toys. I do too, especially because it rarely ever happens. It turned me on so much, I really started focusing on his nipples again, this time more with my mouth and sucking them. First sucking light, then harder, and back again. I could tell from how he moaned that he was getting closer. Finally he came, and I held onto his nipple until I started to feel him come down (which wasn't for 20 seconds or so). We were both exhausted and just laid there for a few moments while we tried to catch our breath before cleaning up. I sat with him in bed for a little bit after while we played games our own DS. Even though I was just sitting there, I was still trying to get my breathing back to normal. It was just really good sex with fantastic orgasms.

Wednesday night Peter had plans to tie me up and do lots of fantastic things to me. We went out to dinner to watch the hockey game, then came right home to get to it. Well, I wasn't feeling great after eating. Something didn't taste right in my food. So we just started to ease into things. I sucked Peter off on the couch for a while. He said it felt so good he didn't want me to stop, so I didn't until he came. He was going to "take care of me", but from how he said it....I thought he meant just get me off, and I didn't want just that. So I declined, and got ready for bed. I started to not feel too hot, so it ended up working out. Though he later explained that he meant he was going to flog me a bit, but  like I said....not feeling great.

Thursday I was rudely awoken at 5am by the urge to be sick. I spent about 75-80% of the day in the bathroom violently being sick. Once I felt like I wasn't going to be sick for at least 10 minutes, I called the restaurant to let them know what had happened. By Friday, I was better. I just felt really sore and still a little nauseated, so playing was still out of the question.

Saturday, January 29th in the early morning I received a call from my mother with some terrible news. One of my best friends (who was considered family) was killed in a car crash late Friday night. I have basically been wreck since, which would explain why I seemed to drop off the face of the earth for the last couple weeks. We've tried to have sex since then and it has been good, I've just been not really "all there".

Yesterday before going to a super bowl party, we had sex and it was really good. Randomly I asked him to use the candle wax. Now, I've never done this before, he has. So it was my first time getting hot candle wax dripped on me. At first it was a little intense and I wasn't sure if I liked it. Peter dripped it on my chest and stomach, then a little on my legs. He had me move to the edge of the bed so I could suck on his cock while he dripped the wax on me. Covering my tits with the wax as I screamed with his cock deep in my mouth...ahh, I'm sure it was quite a lovely sight for him. I know I sure started to enjoy it. When he moved to slide inside of me, I was super slick so he slid right in. He fucked me as he dripped more wax on me. Sometimes when he'd bring the candle up higher, it would splash against my skin and small drips would hit my neck, sending crazy sensations of slight pain all over. I asked him to drip some directly onto my nipples. I wanted to know what that felt like. I will say this right now....it is painful. A sexy kind of painful, but still....painful. They are still quite tender today.

I wanted to play when we got home, but neither of us was feeling up for it. I'd love to play tonight, but his work has decided to dick him around once more, so his new Monday work schedule is 4pm to midnight. Yes, he still has tomorrow off, but I don't so no playing tonight. If I want any sort of play action tomorrow, it will basically have to be right when I get home from work because he has to wake up on Wednesday at 1am for work.


I'm still trying to heal from all of the pain of my friends death, but I know it is going to take a lot of time. I keep trying to distract myself with things I enjoy doing, but every down moment I get I just feel....off.

Not much longer.

The weekend looked like it was going to be a promising time for Peter and I to have some fun. And we did, just....not the kinky kind of fun I was hoping for.

He had to work Saturday morning, so I did a little bit of cleaning and relaxing from the work week I had to deal with. I was getting ready to get in the shower after I had finished cleaning when I got the idea to put my plug in, take a picture, and send it to Peter while he was at work. It was a bit of a struggle, but I managed to get it in after about five minutes of trying. I took a picture, but didn't send it to him. We were going out that night with some friends, and I thought it would be fun to secretly send him the picture while we were out to excite him for later. Not to mention I figured he would want to have sex when he got home, and the idea of getting sex twice sounded great to me. Just like I thought, he wanted sex when he got home from work. It felt so good too. He played with me a little; spanking my bottom with his hand, twisting my nipples, holding me down by my throat, giving my face a few smacks. He played with my clit and within seconds I was nearly on the verge of cumming when he stopped. He smacked me again and asked if I really wanted it. I cried out a "yes", and he eventually gave me what I was craving. I squirted everywhere, and a lot came out. Peter fucked me for a little while longer before he was about to explode. He pulled out and came all over my stomach, shooting up a little high and hitting my tits as well. He stuck his dick back inside of me to clean it off, but made me suck his fingers clean. He went to grab me a wash cloth to clean myself with so we could get ready to go out. We first went to a martini bar for a couple drinks before heading to the bowling alley. I had a delightful buzz going on before we even left the bar though (not really drinking as much or as often as I used to has made me a light weight), but I continued to drink while bowling. At one point I did send Peter the picture, and he enjoyed it very much. From what Peter told me the next day, that picture was also shared with the friends we went out with (drunk me apparently has no shame or sense of boundaries). I guess at one point I got the drunken cries so sex never ended up happening which was a let down, but I understand Peter's reasoning. Just as well; once I calmed down and was laying still for more than five seconds I was out like a light.

The next day I wasn't feeling well thanks to the lack of water I drank and the over-consumption of alcohol. I spent most of the morning praying to the porcelain gods, and in bed. Peter finally got me out of the house a little after noon, and we went to get some greasy food in my stomach (one of the few tricks I know that normally work for my hangovers). It helped a little, so we went off to do some shopping. We weren't able to go and do all the shopping we wanted because I just wasn't feeling up to it. My sickness carried over to Monday as well. Mostly just a little sick feeling, but nothing too terrible. I managed to still make it to the gym and not ralph everywhere, though somehow I pulled something in my ass. Don't ask how because I really have no idea. I didn't do anything out of my ordinary routine, so go figure. Peter had again planned on giving me what I had coming, but he didn't want to do it when I was injured.

I feel better today. No sick feelings. No pain in my ass cheek or back. I feel good. I have an existing ankle condition that causes it to be sore more often than not, and it's a bit sore today but not enough to make me not want to play. It has been too damn long due one of us not being well at some point, and I know we are both craving it. I need to be spanked, paddled, tied up, caned, choked, and dammit...I want it bad. I feel well, and I hope he is feeling well too. Maybe if we get a chance to play I can write about it as soon as possible with as much detail as I can muster to try and make up for the last couple of months for all you lovely pervs out there.

Pleasure for Him

It's been a minute, so I'll make a quick update.

Health-wise....I'm doing better. I finished taking my antibiotics on Friday, so I figure I'll give it an extra day or two for the irritation from the yeast infection to clear up before I start freaking out (apparently they can take up to a week to go away, even with medication). So we'll see. If it doesn't clear up by the end of the week, I'll be getting my ass to a doctor first thing Monday morning. I just hope I can find somewhere that is good, but also really inexpensive.

I'm really excited for Christmas this year. I didn't get Master anything kinky like I did for his birthday, though one of the gifts could be used for fun I suppose. Hmm....I still have a few more days. I can't really afford it, but I would like to get him something fun. Ahh...Maybe I'll get lucky and I'll get something fun from the Kinky Santa on FetLife. They allowed you to ask for three things. I asked for a Multi-Cuff Wrist Suspension Cuffs, an Apprentice Violet Wand Kit, or a Royal Pains (in the Butt) Set. The wand kit I know Master has been wanting to try, but they are awfully expensive. As for the Royal Pain set, that is a set of canes.....all that I would be more than happy to take a beating with from Master (and I believe he's been wanting more canes). The cuffs are more for the appeal of me I believe. I have always wanted to be suspended, and these would be so comfortable and perfect. I just hope I am chosen to win. They are giving away $15,000 in gifts away, and if I'm not mistaken you only get one. My first choice was the cuffs, then the wand, and the canes are third. So....cross your fingers for me!

I know He is really excited for me to heal. He really wants to fuck me, and I can't wait for him to be able to. Since I couldn't over the weekend, I just pleased him. He made me go down on him a few times, but he made it worth my while. There were times when he would pull my head up and kiss me, then he'd twist and pinch my nipples while he rubbed himself before forcing my head back down onto his cock. I hate that my jaw has a tendency to close up and start to hurt because it makes me have to switch back and forth between mouth and hands. It's annoying for me, and I can only imagine that it sucks for Him (especially if he's getting close, or it just feels really good). The second time he had me do it, I actually wasn't in the mood at all, and really didn't feel like it. But I did because that's what a slave does. I ended up getting into it which is typical, so no harm done. I swallowed each time like always. Peter said if I ever don't want to, he would be alright with me going to spit it out. That is really nice of him because I'm sure there would be times when I don't want to, but those would be rare. Even if I don't want to, I still try because I know it will please him (though I'm sure now as long as I'm happy, he'll be pleased). Except the hardcore play sessions. Those don't happen unless I am totally into it, and if I'm that into it....I will take it as it comes (pun intended).

I think that's all for now. Hopefully I'll have something crazy to write about soon! Thanks for the comments! Keep 'em coming! Oh, and don't forget, if you have a question and you want to ask anonymously or not, ask me on Formspring!

Hope everyone has a lovely holiday!

No sex for a while.

I've been dealing with a lot at home lately, so going to Peter's for the weekend was really needed.

We both worked our last Saturdays for a while at our jobs, and then snuggled together. We only had sex a few times this weekend, and it seems I am out of commission for a little bit. After sex on Saturday, I felt some irritation. Normal when there isn't enough lubrication, but I don't remember there being a lack of it. The pain got worse after sex on Sunday. Granted, it was a little rougher than the night before (I recently dyed my hair pink and Peter was having fun grabbing hold of it from behind as he rammed into me). When Peter realized how much pain I was in, He suggested we hold off for a bit and let me heal. I decided to ask some questions to the people over at FetLife, and got some good suggestions. I tried an Epsom salt bath last night and that gave me almost immediate relief. Then I also tried this cream that was suggested (Traumeel). It says it's for muscular and joint pain, but I figured what the heck. It seemed to also help a little bit with the pain, and that's when I started to notice the irritation. Not irritation from the cream, but a more familiar kind. I've always been really prone to yeast infections for some reason, so I figured that's what it must be. I even went back on FetLife and thanked everyone, saying what had worked and that I thought I was now getting a yeast infection. And of course, I was right. I am so incredibly uncomfortable and irritated right now, it's not even funny.

I stopped on my way to Peter's for some relief medicine yesterday. I couldn't decide if I was just having yeast infection-like symptoms or if it was a straight up yeast infection, so I went to talk to the pharmacist. She said it is probably a yeast infection caused by the antibiotics I'm taking for the tooth infection I had. I spent the extra $2 and got the one-dose stuff instead of the three-dose, which I am now wishing I hadn't. Before bed I used it, cleansed with a medicated wipe I had bought (just for added relief), and then applied the external cream that came with the medicine. I woke up in the middle of the night in pain and so much irritation. I couldn't get back to sleep for a good hour or so. It was horrible. I even got up to go use the medicated wipes, and that didn't seem to help much. I tried to distract myself by booting my computer up and searching out doctors. Since I don't have any insurance, I have to be kind of picky about where I go. I have to make sure they are either low cost, or that they at least will do reasonable payment plans with me for anything they have to do for me. I found a couple I was going to call on if the pain or irritation got any worse. I put on the TV and started to watch some random rerun of Scrubs and eventually passed out. Glasses on and all.

Woke up today feeling much better. I used the wipes again then hopped in the shower. I considered putting the external cream on, but after the night I had, I decided against it. Although I was feeling better, I still felt very uncomfortable and irritated. Everything felt raw and swollen (which means I probably scratched myself in my sleep more than I thought). I'm doing ok now, I just really wish this would clear up soon. I really hate this feeling.

I think if I ever get some extra money (which I doubt I ever will), I will find a doctor and find out why I am so prone to yeast infections. I am very careful about making sure my area is always clean so I don't think it has anything to do with that. I'm not sure, but it could possibly be a genetic thing. Who knows. All the websites I've read say even with one-dose medicines it could take up to seven days for an infection to clear up. Ugh.

No panties.

Thursdays are usually when I go over to Peter's house, but we both had to work late. While working late, a wave of sexual desire just swept over me. It was pretty crazy. I sent him a text and told him this. His response? "Better have those panties off when you come over tomorrow."

Friday morning, I started my whole routine....shower, get dressed....When I put my panties on, I looked in the mirror. My was having a very "sexy ass" day. I mean...I have a big bottom, and there are times when even I find it hot. So, I took a picture of it with my panties on, and sent it to Master, saying "Good morning!". He said it made his day (and he made it the wallpaper on his phone), but that they had better be off when I came over (like he asked the day before). I wouldn't dream of disobeying an order like that. When it was time to go home for the day, I walked behind the control tower, pulled my panties down (I wear skirts 85% of the time...this day was no exception), and put them in my purse. It was only a little windy outside, but I held onto my skirt as if the wind was whipping around a wind tunnel. When I got to Masters house, he was still in the shower. I let myself in, and went to his room. I knelt on the bed, and bent over. About 10 minutes later, he was out of the shower, and in his room. He didn't waste much time before giving me my spankings for the day. When he goes down on me, it sends shivers all over my body, I swear. The sex that followed was quite enjoyable. I wasn't really in pain anymore, so that helped a lot. We weren't able to really do much else because we had dinner plans with some of my friends, followed by a graduation party. Throughout the party, Master kept smacking my bottom. It only got more intense as the night when on, and I got him more drunk (I have never seen him even slightly intoxicated before, so this was a treat for me). He would go between smacking my ass hard and telling me he wanted to stick it in my ass, to grabbing me by the waist, kissing me, and telling me how much he loved me. He had been quite affectionate earlier in the evening before the alcohol (and he is normally very affectionate). Before him, I didn't have much care for PDA, but he made me comfortable enough to survive a kiss here and there in public without getting annoyed at all. So all the kisses just made me feel incredibly loved and wanted.We left the party a bit before midnight, and were sexing it up as soon as we got home. We were both on fire, and ended up recorded a couple little clips on my phone. The one I took you can't really see (poor lighting), but the one he did was not too shabby. We actually changed positions when he did it so that I was bent over. He kept rubbing his thumb over my ass while he recorded. I knew what he really wanted. He had been mentioning it all night. Eventually, I said it was fine, and asked if I could use my toy. Master allowed this. Things were fine at first, then eventually it started to hurt. And then hurt really bad. I had to tell him we needed to stop. He was fine with it. Apparently with the alcohol in his system, it wasn't likely that he would be able to achieve orgasm. So we cleaned up and laid down. We talked for a bit before going to sleep. I can't help but be completely smitten by that man.

Saturday worked out to be a busy day. Starting with breakfast, followed by the movies, then I had to work. I know we had sex at some point, but since it's Wednesday already, I can't remember. Yay, lack of memory. I just remember that I had two very small cups of coffee with breakfast, and not long after....I started getting pain in my kidneys again. That made the rest of the day quite annoying.

Sunday was not such a good day for Peter. He had a crummy morning at work, plus he found out there really wasn't a chance for him to do this marathon that he had been planning on doing for almost a year. It was just a messed up day. I spent most of the day trying to get comfortable while watching TV with his dog and cat. We had been invited to the cider mill, but we passed due to the excess of shitty day. We tried to make the best of it by having lunch and watching the new episodes of Big Bang Theory and Regular Show, then we went to Borders to pick out some books. Peter bought a new vegetarian cook book so he could cook new and delicious meals for us, and I picked up the cook book Vegan Cookies Invade Your Cookie Jar. I loved the previous book Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World, so I knew this would be epic. I used to be vegan, but now I'm just back to being vegetarian (though I still bake vegan). Then after a quick run to the pet store, we finally got back to his place. I was texting one of my friends while he was feeding his animals. When he was done, he came to sit by me. After sending a text, he asked if I was done texting my friend. When I said sure, his response was "good, let's go have sex". I wasn't really done texting, but my response back could wait. I never pass up a chance for sex with my Master if I can help it. When we made dinner later, I got my daily spankings. This time, it was with a spatula. I see the point in those paddles with holes in them now; you can totally feel the holes with each crack, even with an ass as plush as mine.

My kidneys are feeling a bit better now that I'm drinking a lot more water than I was. I'm also taking cranberry pills and trying to drink lots of cranberry juice. I'm trying to avoid going back to the doctor if I can, but if I keep getting the pains I'll have to go back.

Things to look forward to? A rare occurrence, I'll be going to Master's house tonight, and be there until Sunday. Normally, this starts on Thursday, but I get an extra day. Wednesdays he works until 9pm, and Thursdays are usually one of  his days off of work. My normal work schedule is 9-4, but tomorrow I will be working 2-9pm. So to insure that we get to spend lots of time together, I'll be going over there tonight. I will also be bringing my dog. The longest she's ever stayed over his place was a night, so I'm curious how she is going to do staying there for four nights.

Peter's birthday is later this month. I already have a few small gifts for him, and I'll probably get the rest of his gift next week (not including his birthday dinner out, and cake that I'll be baking him). I also need to complete my personal birthday gift for him So far, I only have the outfit I'll be wearing for him, but not the lingerie. The outfit is a school girl. What should I wear under it? Any ideas? I can't decide if I want to go all white cotton panties and bra, or something I can wear thigh highs and a garter belt with. I still have a little bit to decide. His birthday isn't until the 28th.


Anyway, I'm rambling, and I should get going. Lots of work to do before I leave for the day!

Uneventful weekend.

I apologize for the lack of an update. Not long after posting my entry last week, I left work from being in such physical pain that I could barely sit at my desk comfortably. The entire drive home, I was in excruciating pain (enough to bring me to tears). Took some tylenol when I got home, and I spent the rest of the day laying on a heating pad and watching TV. I couldn't get comfortable enough to take a nap, but I tried. When I finally got to sleep later that night around midnight, I was only asleep for an hour or so until I was rudely awoken by pain. If I were to rate my pain, earlier in the afternoon/evening it was easily an eight. The pain I woke up with was unmistakably a ten. I was crying, and literally called for my mommy. It was 1am, and my mom had to work the next day, so I asked my dad to drive me to the ER (even though my mom offered, I didn't want her to miss work because of me). I felt bad enough as it was seeing as my dad had also just gone to bed when I did. To make a long story short, a few expensive tests later I was told I had a kidney infection. I was unaware a little infection could put you in that much pain. I have never felt pain like that before, and I'd prefer not to ever again. When we left, the pharmacy wasn't open yet so we just went home, and I went to sleep (since the pain meds they put in my IV were still working). Only, I woke up a few hours later in a lot of pain again, so the hour wait for my prescription to be filled was pretty annoying. The next few days left me in a lot of pain still, and my fever and headache had not let up yet. I ended up taking the entire week off work, and needless to say....I didn't get a chance to see Peter. He didn't get paid until Friday, and was unable to make it to my house to see me until then. We went to dinner, then back to my place to pack some clothes for me for the weekend. We did attempt to have sex that night. It was quite painful for me though (enough to eventually bring me to tears at the end). But we pushed through because it had been so long since we even just saw each other. We tried again twice that weekend (once on Saturday, and again on Sunday). It was just really uncomfortable for me. I couldn't move much, and I couldn't find a really good comfortable position to just sit in. Sunday was better, but the condoms kept rubbing me the wrong way. Even with all the lube we used (and it was a lot), I still bled a bit. Peter said we needed to give my area a break for a few days. Conveniently enough (yet a bummer in general), our schedules clashed this week, and we wouldn't see each other until Friday. So that would give me plenty of time to heal.

I'm feeling a lot better finally. I can eat a little more, and I'm not really in pain...just a bit sore. A little happy accident that happened to Peter made it so he was on the side of town where I work today, so we got to have lunch together. I attempted to be brave and we got Thai for lunch, and my stomach responded well to the spice of the curry (which I was worried it would flip out). I've been eating mostly safe "comfort foods" lately to help keep my tummy happy, but it seems it's ok now.

Master and I should be back in regular action this weekend, or at least I hope so. I need to make a follow up appointment with the doctor this week, and then we'll be in the clear for fun! Again, sorry for the lack of super kinky reading that you're used to reading on here. My health is important though, and I needed to take care of myself. I look forward to writing next time!