Can't catch a break.

I have the weakest immune system it seems. Always have, even when I was a kid. Some of my friends have said "you think it's because you're a vegetarian?". Simple answer is no, because my immune system has always been shit. But when I think about it more, it probably doesn't help. The first couple years after I went vegetarian, there was no change. I still got sick as much as I used to, nothing different. It's only been the last two or three years that I've dealt with issue after issue. I was vegan for one most of that time, but right around the time I moved back in with my parents last year I went back to being just a vegetarian. There wasn't a whole lot of room in their fridge for my special vegan food. Plus, being a cheese lover, I did buy a lot of vegan cheese. Which is very expensive. The whole reason I moved back in with my parents was to save some money. Can't do that when I'm spending $10 on a pound of "cheese". Anyway.....my point is, I've dealt with more in the last nine months health-wise than I have my whole life. What with catching every cold I come in contact with, or the kidney infection, or tooth infections...And most recently, I've dealt with a horrible cold PLUS a really terrible pain. Where was the the pain? Oh, you know, somewhere in my girly parts. Peter couldn't fuck me without me being in pain. Two doctor appointments later, we're still not sure exactly what it is. They think it's either an ovarian cyst, or polyps. They want me to get an ultrasound to be sure. But since those are really expensive, and I'm pretty much broke, that's going to be really tough to accomplish. Luckily, I'm not in any pain anymore. My doctor said if it is a cyst, the hormones in my birth control should take care of it. I still have to make my appointment for the ultrasound (because the office I went to didn't have the machine, so they're sending me somewhere else). But I can't make my appointment until I have the cash because it is one of those places where you have to pay for your procedure the same day. Luckily, it's one of those low-cost places, but it's still something I can't afford right now. Peter suggested we do as much saving for it as we can, and make the appointment when we can. If the pain comes back before we get the money, then I'm not sure what we'll do. We'll figure something out I guess.

We've had sex three times since my last doctors appointment. And I've had no pain, so that's a really good thing. The pain came about a week and a half before I had my period, so I suppose I'll watch for that again this month. But for now, I'm going to enjoy my pain-free sex.

Ok, not entirely pain-free. Peter wanted to fuck this morning, and I was down for that since we didn't get a chance to yesterday. It was great how he brought it up, too. I had just put the kettle on for my oatmeal, and let the dogs outside. He had already been up for a couple hours, but let me sleep in. He told me "ok, so here's what I was thinking. After you eat, we go fuck, finish the touch-ups in the second bedroom, then go to the store. I'd say we go fuck now, but you just started your breakfast." So we did just that (we've been painting the second bedroom in the house for the last few days, just to clear that part up). When we got to the bedroom, he started to pull off my clothes. Once he had me naked, he played with my pussy before pushing me over the edge of the bed. My cunt was starting to get pretty wet, and he worked on it more before pushing his cock in me. We haven't fucked like that in a while, so the feeling was incredible. After a few minutes, he pulled out and went to the foot of the bed. He had brought out our suitcase full of toys a few weeks ago, but didn't get a chance to use anything since I started having pains. He searched for a few moments, then came back with the flogger. My favorite. He knows this. I think this is why he chose it for our first fun thing in a long time. The first few whips were relatively soft, but that didn't last long. I thought he was going to go easy on me, figuring since it had been so long I might not be able to handle anything too rough. I was wrong; he didn't hold back. After squirming and screaming for a few minutes, he told me to turn around and suck his cock. While I sucked on him, he continued to flog me. He's never flogged me while I sucked his cock before, and I must say it was fantastic. He was enjoying it, too. I can only imagine how the vibrations from my muffled cries felt on his cock. I tried to take him completely in, but of course I choked on his size. He took the opportunity to flip me around, and push me back onto the bed. Forcing his cock back inside my now soaking wet cunt, he fucked and flogged me. Telling me how good of a little slut I am. After awhile, my back went numb. The feeling became more comforting than painful, and I knew he still wasn't holding back. When I looked behind me, I saw how he wound up before bringing the flogger down on me. I knew it should probably hurt, but it didn't. Not really, anyway. He fucked me harder, and flogged me faster. He stopped flogging me only to make me cum with his hands, reaching down to rub my clit. I came with a force, pushing him out. He pushed back in, and continued to fuck me. Harder and harder. I felt him begin to swell inside of me. But I didn't get to feel him explode. He pulled out, and came all over my back and my ass. He demanded my manners, and I said "thank you". He went to grab a warm rag to clean me up with.

With being on all the antibiotics I've been on recently, he's done a lot of pulling out just to be safe. Which is fun if you like being covered in cum. Lucky for me, I actually enjoy it. The only thing I don't enjoy is when it gets in my belly button. I hate that. But I take it, just the same, because that's what I do. I'm his little cum slut. And I take it with pride.

After we were done though, we sat on the bed and just talked. Well, I talked. I looked over at him and noticed him not only staring at me, but he had this amazing smile on his face. I asked him, "what?", and he just said how he enjoyed watching me think. You don't realize it all the time, but sometimes when you live with someone....things just become a day to day thing. I think after the flogging, it sort of woke something up. Peter does a wonderful job of letting me know he loves and adores me, and how sexy he finds me. But it's been a while since he's looked at me that way. It was just really nice. 



I just started listening to some of the Erotic World podcasts, and they're quite entertaining. Lacy reads some erotica on it, and on the blog she links to the person's page who wrote it. Which leads you to reading even more erotica. I've read a lot tonight, and I have to say. I can't wait for Peter to get home tonight. Though I have a bad feeling he is going to have to work late. I really hope not. My cunt is aching for him again. And after how well I took that flogging today, I am ready for more. I'm craving it more than ever. 

Breaking point.

On Tuesday I got really horny, and sent Peter a text message. I described to him something along the lines of craving to serve him, and how I felt lost without my Master's guidance (I'd post it exactly, but I had to reset my phone this weekend). He told me to bring my blue and black corset when I came over. Peter didn't have to work Wednesday night, so I went over there after hanging out with one of my friends. We have been having a lot of really passionate sex lately. I wish I could say this in a less corny way, but there really is no other way....I feel like it brings us closer together when we do this. I already know how compatible we are when it comes to the kinky stuff. It's pretty obvious that he loves me, but it never hurts to be reminded of it.This is totally out of the norm for me to put in here, but we saw the new Jackass 3D movie twice already. Once on Thursday, and again on Saturday. It's good. Just saying.

I had to work Saturday morning, so we were both up pretty early. We had every intention of playing later on that evening, and then I got a headache. It was terrible. Peter gave me some pain meds for it, massaged my head, then gave me a cold rag to put on my head. Nothing was helping. I went to lay down around 8:30, and he came to lay with me. I felt terrible because it had been over 36 hours since we last had sex (and it's not like we weren't around each other, we just didn't have time). Peter told me it was alright, and it didn't matter. He just wanted me to get better. But....me being me, I told him to just go for it. I was still able to move, so it wasn't one of those headaches where sex would be the worst idea ever. He was a little reluctant, but he went for it. It ended up being really good. We dirty talked a bit. He gave me orders for the next day too. It didn't get rid of my headache, but it did ease it a little bit.

Sunday I got up at a reasonable hour, watched some TV, did some stretching, then started to get ready. The order that Master gave me were to be waiting at the side door, on my knees, wearing my black and blue corset and black high heels. I added my collar too, and a LOT of black makeup. When he came home, I was waiting for him how I was told to. He let the dogs outside, kissed me, told me to stand up so he could look at me, then made me go wait in the bedroom for him while he showered. I waited anxiously on the edge of the bed for him. When he came in, he had me stand up and turn around. I got a few spankings, and he bent me over the bed to give me more, then told me not to move. He then went over to the dresser and started pulling out tools. The Wartenberg wheel, small flogger, big flogger, short rope, long rope, and the wooden paddle. Master ordered me to my knees, and put him in my mouth. My gag reflex was not on my side that day. First time I ever felt liquid come up, but I didn't really miss a beat, and neither did he. Next, I was to lay on my back with my head over the end of the bed. Master then took the small flogger, and began to flog my breasts. This is where things started to go wrong. I was loving how it felt, and then every so often, one tail would hit my previously pierced nipple. It kept happening, and my instincts started to kick in and my hands shot up. Master stopped, went to grab the cane and started smacking my thighs, telling me to keep my hands down. Then he went over to the dresser to grab the cuffs and spreader bar, and got me all locked up before he started flogging my breasts again. The pain came back as if he never took a break, and just the one tail.....against that nipple. I started to actually cry, and then I begged him to stop. He did. I sobbed for a few moments, and he drug the flogger across my chest. It soothed me as I dried my tears and briefly stated that it kept hitting my nipple. He told me he will start when I feel ready. A few moments later, I started to calm down and told him I was ready. He waited a good 30 seconds before starting up again, careful not to hit the sensitive nipple too much. He had me sit up so he could tie my wrists up, then used the cane on my thighs again. Apparently my body had become extremely sensitive and I had to ask him to stop again during that. To try and keep the thrill going though, I then asked for permission to speak. He told me to be quick as he kissed me. I quickly explained that my thighs were not used to being beaten. His reply was simple; that's why he gives them beatings. He kept having me stand up and turn around for him, and let me tell you...turning around and walking while cuffed to an ankle spreader bar, and wrists tied up is not that easy. The difficulty of this showed, and amused Master. He bent me over the bed and spanked me with the wooden paddle, and ran the Wartenberg wheel up and down my back. I could feel myself dripping on the floor, and he saw this. He started rubbing my pussy, moving my juices all over, even over my asshole. I started to think that's where he was going with this next. Then he had me turn over and pushed me on the bed. He pulled me down to the edge of the bed so that my ass hung off a bit, and held the spreader bar up, telling me how good of a girl I had been and slipping right in. He fucked me for a while, calling me all his favorite names for me (good little fuck doll, fuck toy, slut) in the most endearing ways possible. Master was gracious enough to allow me to cum. I squirted a little, and since he had me hanging off the bed, the sheets stayed mostly clean (but the floor was not as lucky). He told me to stand up, making me face the bed, wrists up under my chin, Master wrapped the long rope around my arms and back so I was unable to move. Master unlocked the bar from the cuffs, and pushed me to the floor. He fucked me for a while. Having my face to the ground, and the force of his thrusts started to make the long rope lose and slip down to the top of my shoulders. I just sat there bent over, enjoying every thrust (I'm not the typically girl who gets hers and then begs for it to be over....I actually enjoy the feeling). After he came, he told me to clean myself up because I was a mess. Walking into the bathroom and looking in the mirror, he was right; my black makeup had smeared all over the place. I knew it would smear a little because I tend to shed a tear or two from squeezing my eyes shut during my beatings, but I hadn't expected to sob like I did. I cleaned up what I could, then went back to the room. He told me to come lay down next to him. He asked me if I was alright, but not in the whiny, unsure kind of boyfriend way. He was being a good Master. We discussed what had happened, and I thanked him for being very cool about it and not freaking out. It was the first time I ever had to ask him to stop/slow down play. The fact that he did (and yet didn't completely break character), and showed compassion for me really strengthens my trust in him. I don't think I have ever trusted someone so much before (which feels great, but also terrifies me at the same time).

We went about our day, and ended up having a quickie before I had to go home. The quickie involved some choking, face smacking, and just....damn. At one point, he was holding me down and it actually felt like he closed off my wind pipe for a few seconds. The relief when I could sort of breathe again was a rush. Smacking my face and grabbing hold, making sure I know who my Master was. It's all just so very hot to me!

I have been sore all damn day. I can't sit still for very long before I have to reposition. He really wailed on my ass with that paddle, plus my legs and back have been sore too. I have a few new bruises from the cane (one is a line which looks really cool), and some marks on my breasts from the flogger. I haven't checked my back today, but I'm sure that has a few pretty marks too.

There aren't too many more days until Peter's birthday, and I still have yet to complete his gift! I decided against getting him something he needs, so I'm going with things he wants. Stuff to just have fun with. If I can afford it, maybe I'll get him something new to have fun beating me with.

Oh! Apparently this isn't really a big deal, but I got really excited about it. Every time I update, I send out two dozen or more Pings, and I share the link on my Twitter. I also started to join some fetish networking sites and having this blog listed. This evening, I was checking the stats and noticed that one of my blog viewings came from a Google search. I am now available to be searched on Google! When I first got this blog, I requested to be searchable on Google, and have checked once or twice since. Never got a match for anything having to do with my blog until now. Like I said, it's nothing too special, but I'm pretty excited about it. Hopefully I can keep entertaining you all so you keep reading and spreading the word!

I think it's time for me to get to sleep. Writing about this weekend kind of has me riled up, so I might use my one allowed diddle session up for the week.

Submissive weekend pt.2

Friday I went to a hockey game with my friend Bella, so I didn't get to see Peter until I got home around 11pm. He was exhausted from a very taxing day, so we basically just relaxed for a bit until we went to bed. We ended up having very sweet sex. He wasn't really rough, he went really slow and I had a pretty different type of orgasm. It was interesting, but I loved it.

Saturday morning, I had to work. Peter came with me because he wanted to see what my Saturday job was all about, plus we were going to a corn maze after. We had a lot of fun all day, and made it back to his place around 7. I felt kinda gross from working and walking around all day, so I hopped in the shower. When I got out, Master told me to get ready while he got in the shower. I asked him how, he said to be creative. I laid on the bed for a few minutes touching myself, waiting for him. Then I remembered I had brought my old school girl skirt (not the new one I bought to wear for his birthday) and a white button up. So I jumped up, threw that on (left the top slightly open so he could see my hot pink bra and breasts), strapped on my six inch black heels, and threw on my collar. Then I laid back on the bed (heels up on the bed), and resumed touching myself. Eventually he made it back into the room, very surprised and delighted. He had me stand up so he could look at me. Told me to turn around....bend over.....He just couldn't take his eyes off me. Master then told me to bend over the bed, told me he did a good job doing this to please him and that I deserved a reward. Then asked if I wanted it. Of course I said yes. He brought out the cane (which....being a wooden cane, it kinda fit the theme with the school girl), and proceeded to give me my reward. Light taps at first, then harder and faster. The feeling of a cane beating lingers enough that I barely noticed when he stopped. I didn't realize what had really happened until I felt him dragging the flogger across my bottom (I kept all of my clothes on during the entire session, so my bare back was difficult to get to). My beating lasted for quite some time, but when it finally stopped, Master put his hands on me, like he normally does. But then, he said something that made me sink more into the moment. He told me "I do this because I love you. Because you are mine.". Just the way that he whispered it to me.....I felt so overcome with emotion and desire to please my Master more than ever. After he was done, he did request my manners, which I nearly forgot. He had me crawl on the bed, and pushed my shoulders and head down so only my ass was up. He asked me what my name was at one point. I wasn't sure what he was expecting, but when he spanked me, and told me it was slut...that made it sink it. He asked a few more times, and I answered. He told me not to forget that either. I am still learning when I am to say "thank you, Master", and it showed during this session. After each spank, I wasn't sure if it would be overkill or not, but apparently....it was expected after each end. My bad. Well, I ended up paying for it. He told me I wasn't listening, so I didn't get to cum. I begged and pleaded, but.....nope. Nothing. I just had to take his, and be satisfied with that. Which....I was pleased but....dammit, I wanted it so bad. When he was done, I begged a little more. Master came back with "I said no.", grabbed the cane and told me not to ask again, and to go get cleaned up now. I jumped up quick and cleaned up.

I spent the time Sunday while Peter was at work shopping and starting to prepare food for dinner. We had a lot of stuff to do that day, but he said if I was good, he might let me cum. I tried to be good all day. He requested my manners at one point, and I told him that I need consistency with this stuff. That continued the rest of the day. After dinner and desert, before I had to leave, we went to lay down. Master had my lick him, which he was thoroughly enjoying for quite some time. When Master decided it was time for him to fuck me, he ordered me to take off my clothes, and grab my toy. He climbed on top of me, and let me use my toy. Master allowed me to cum. My orgasm was really long, and fantastic. It just kept going, and with each extremely deep thrust, it just made the orgasm all the more intense. Master finally said I get one more, and then I'm done. Once I had my final one, I didn't push it. I said thank you, and just enjoyed the rest of the session. Eventually, he told me to beg him to cum. I begged...oh god, did I beg. He loved the hell out of it, he came hard, I felt it. It was fantastic.

I get to see Master again on Thursday. We're going to see an advanced showing of Jackass 3D. Not sure what is in store for us for the rest of the weekend, but I look forward to it! I am quite sleepy right now, I should head to bed. Until next time....

Bought a new toy. Not sure if I give it a thumbs up or not yet.

When I got to Master's house on Friday, I had to let myself in, and went to his room. I think the sound of his dog barking his fool head off, and me opening his bedroom door is what woke him up. He took a nap after getting home from work due to a relatively bad head ache. My sister was going out with a friend for dinner, so we decided to go to a restaurant by my parents house, then go hang out with her for her birthday. Master was getting ready to get in the shower when he gave me a little pat on the bottom, and I remembered how he said I was to be spanked whenever I came over. So I teased him about not doing it. I totally meant it to be cute because I knew he wasn't feeling good when I came over. He jumped in the shower, and I went to lounge on the couch and played a game on my phone while I waited. When he got out, he went to go get dressed. I stayed where I was, totally involved in trying to beat my high score, when he came back out and told me to get up, and bend over on the couch. I did so, and he went to town on my bottom, with the demand I tell him who was in charge. Once he was done, he didn't let me get up. He reached in his back pocket and pulled out the paddle "and this is for bringing your spankings up to me". Taught me my lesson for mocking him basically, and then we went to dinner.

Saturday was yet another busy day. Peter worked early, and my back was killing me. I spent most of the day laying in bed in odd positions (which were strangely comfortable). When he got back, he tried to take care of me the best he could. He also teased me a bit. Spanking me here and there, then said when we got home that night, he was going to tie me up and spank me. Of course that excited me very much, even though I was in a bit of pain (though with the motrin he gave to me, I was feeling a little better). Since my favorite toy is basically shot (the wire connection is all kinds of fucked up), we went to a local sex shop to get me a new one. I didn't find one like my beloved broken toy, but I found one that had quite a bit of power, and to top it off...it was on sale. Since we weren't going to be able to use it for a while, I had to try and calm myself while we were out. After we got back from dinner and the street fair/concert (which the cops shut the music down mid-set...ugh), we were both exhausted. We still had sex, and he still gave me plenty of bruises on my legs from biting me (one is somehow in the shape of a heart), but there was no tying up. He did allow me to use my new toy. I wasn't as pleased with it as I was hoping unfortunately. I'm hoping I just need to learn how to use it though. My previous toy was solely for clitoral stimulation, and my new one was meant for insertion (but the bullet inside was at the tip, so would likely be easily used for clitoral as well). I mean....I got of with it, but it didn't feel as epic as my other toy. When we laid down to sleep, I said thank you before falling asleep. He patted my bottom "good girl".

Peter let me sleep in on Sunday, and allowed for my dog to come in bed with me when he got up. Peter made us some breakfast, then we went to hunt down some geocaches before heading to bdubs with some of his friends for the football game. Peter wasn't only being entertained by the game, or jokes between friends. He was also having fun grabbing onto my legs and pushing on my bruises, making me squirm. The first time he did it caught me totally off guard, and I squealed a little. We decided to go back to his place to make dinner instead of getting food there, then back out for a couple more geocaches. When we got back, Master ordered me to bend over his bed for my spankings. I questioned him because I thought I was to get them only when I came over. Apparently I didn't understand quite right...he meant every day that I was there, I was to get a spanking each day. We started to get riled up, but we both felt like we needed showers from running through the woods searching. He went first, then I jumped in to get clean. When I walked into his bedroom, he had the paddle, Wartenberg wheel, flogger, and some rope laid out on the end of the bed. He kissed me, and had me sit on the bed and hold my arms out. He proceeded to tie my wrists together. He said I had been such a good girl that day, and ordered me on my knees. My orders were to lick his balls while he stroked himself, then he let me take his cock in my mouth. I had control of my movements for a short time before he held my head and fucked my mouth. Next he told me to get up and bend over. Master told me how good of a girl I was, and asked if I wanted a special treat. I said yes, and he started to roll the wheel up and down my back. Light at first, slowly putting more pressure as he went on. He spoke to me in this lovingly dominant tone...I really don't know how else to explain it. He told me how good I was, and asked if I was enjoying my treat. I cried out in pain many times, but a good kind of pain. It hurt so much that it felt good. I know to those who aren't familiar with this type of sexual activity this doesn't sound right, but believe me....it is completely right for me. After a few minutes, he stopped and ran his hands up and down my back, cooing sweetly to me how good I was, and proceeded to paddle me. Then went back to the wheel. At one point, it felt like he was nearly about to break skin and instinctively, I sort of dove forward. He stopped, rubbed my back again, and asked why I did that, grabbing onto my hips and pulling me back towards him, and paddled me for moving. Next Master grabbed the flogger and dragged it up and down my back. He asked if it felt good, and if I wanted it. So far in my time as his slave, flogging is one of my favorite things. It feels incredibly good. Master then taunted me with the tip of his cock, feeling how wet I was becoming, then said not yet. He went on to switching between the wheel, paddle, and flogger until I was literally dripping (yes....once we were done, he said I actually dripped onto the bed, and my ass was at least 12 inches in the air). Master told me how good of a slave I was, and asked me if I wanted his cock, and to ask nicely for it. I did, and I did as I was told. The sex was incredible. It hurt a bit at first, too. It always seems to hurt a little every time he initially goes in, but he was also hitting so hard, and so deep that I couldn't help but cry out from the pain. He had me with my face down, and my ass up for him to penetrate, and smacked it a few times. At one point, he pulled me up to grab my nipples and twist them really hard. I pulled away a bit, and he came out of me. Since he hadn't told me to move, he spanked me, flipped me over, and scolded me. I tried to kiss and nibble on his neck. I didn't ask permission though, so he held my neck down to gain control of me again. Then Master bit my neck. I took a couple smacks to the face for not saying thank you. He told me I should consider everything he does to me a gift, and I am to remember to say thank you for each gift he gives me. I eventually felt as if I was ready to cum, and I asked...no, I begged for permission to cum. Everything was feeling soo good, I just knew it wouldn't take much for me to explode. He said I had been so good, he would allow it. He leaned up to touch me, and within a few seconds I was squirting everywhere. Master kept on and let me cum twice, very generous of him. His grin just kept getting wider. Master said how he loved the noises that were coming out of my whore mouth. How I was his personal fuck toy, and I was being an excellent fuck toy. I twisted my wrists in the ropes to feel the pain from them cutting off the circulation as he pounded into me even harder and I cried out. I told him how much I loved his cock, and how I wanted him to fill me until he came hard. He untied my wrists before he moved, and allowed me to go clean up.

When I came back, we discussed the evening, and he asked what I liked. I explained to him how much I enjoyed it all, especially how he was speaking to me. Like I said before, the way things sound depends on how turned on I get. It's not just with the sound of certain types of paddles, or the thud of a flogger. It's also the tone of voice at certain times. His voice was sweet, and gentle. Even though his actions were painful on my part, they felt full of love and adoration. For as violent as the whole bdsm lifestyle seems, it can be quite sensual and loving. I act out as a slave when I crave the punishment. This was the first time I ever received a treat for being good (other than little spankings here and there), and I have to say....I have never been more turned on. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure I'll act out when I begin to desire a punishment, but last night was fantastic.

Unfortunately my back is killing me today. I don't believe it has anything to do with our sex last night. Master was careful, and didn't really hit the spot that hurts. I'm slightly worried I have kidney issues because of where the pain is, but it's probably just muscle pain. If it doesn't go away, I will be seeing a doctor (even though it will cost me an arm and a leg due to no insurance). I should get to eating my lunch now. Hope everyone had a lovely weekend!