Hello, 2012!

A LOT has happened since my last update. Many doctors appointments, a mini vacation, proposal, some light play, and lots and lots of work.

Last update, I was having pain issues during sex. After many doctor appointments, a vaginal exam, two ultrasounds, and more doctors....they are chalking it up to cysts. The pain had gone by the time I went for the ultrasounds, and then those results came back clear. Then after talking with my mom, she said that lady part cysts actually ran in the family. So lucky me, I get to deal with those. That could explain why I have such painful periods. The last couple of months had me really worried though because I was having a period last anywhere from 8 to 14 days. One possible cause could be that I am probably anemic. The other could have been my brand of birth control. So I've been told to work on eating more iron rich foods, and my doc also switched my birth control brand. I really wanted the one that makes it so you have four periods a year, but apparently since I go through planned parenthood, the government won't pay for it (it's apparently very expensive), so I couldn't get it. Maybe when I get insurance I will. I had to go to my regular family doctor the week before Peter's birthday. I was REALLY sick, and hadn't been able to kick the cold I had, and have been having on and off for the last six months or more. She gave me a shot of some sort of antibiotic, then gave me a z-pack. The cold was gone before his birthday thankfully.

Speaking of his birthday....this year, we decided to take a little trip to Chicago. I had never been, and we wanted to do something fun and different for his birthday. We left really early Saturday morning to hop on the MegaBus (they day after his birthday), and arrived in Chicago around 11am. We ended up getting lost trying to find the right train to take us to our hotel. I ended up tripping and falling, scraping the hell out of my hands and knees. Once we found the train and were on our way to the hotel, I sat and picked cement bits out of my palms. Peter had seen broken glass where I fell, but luckily I didn't land on any. Once we got to the hotel, I cleaned my hands as best I could. My knees didn't look too bad (luckily I had jeans on), but with the force that I hit the ground with.....they were in so much pain. The hotel was nice enough to supply me with some big bandages for my hands before we left to have dinner with one of my friends who just moved there. After dinner, we wandered down to Navy Pier. I was hoping to see another dear friend, but we kept missing each others texts. Which turned out to be just fine because once we were down near the end of the pier, Peter dropped down to one knee and proposed! The girly-girl in me has been super excited ever since. We already have a ton of stuff done for the wedding, even though we aren't getting married until next June. We just wanted to have as much time as possible to save up.

I didn't get my clear bill of health until the end of January, so there really hasn't been any play since we didn't know if there was something wrong with me, and we didn't want to accidentally cause any more harm. Since then, we've had some light play action. No toys have been use. Mostly just him holding me down, smacking my tits, choking......enough play to give me a couple small bruises here and there, and some REALLY sore spots. I'm hoping to do more soon, though I feel I may need to retrain my pain threshold. It's been so long since we've had a nice, hard romp, I'm afraid I've grown weak. I am all for building my tolerance back up though!

Work has been keeping us both busy. Now that we are saving up for this big, extravagant wedding, we don't have much money to spend doing other stuff. Which actually isn't as bad as you think. We still have tons of fun together. We've been playing catch up with shows on the DVR. Now that our schedules aren't too crazy, we are actually able to cook and have dinner together again which has been really great. Sometimes I'll go to the gym after work so our time together before we go to bed is a little less (we go to bed around 9 now since Peter has to be up by 4am for work). And since I'm still waking up a lot during the night, but not nearly as much as before (over a year after my brothers death, and I'm still working on this whole dealing with it thing). I'm REALLY behind on my comics. I have a stack of probably 50 or more that I still have to read. I got really behind when I got super sick in October. And then with all the stuff going on, I didn't have much time to catch up. So I'm still playing catch up. I think I've finally read all of our comics that came out in December, so that's a relief, but I'm still wayyy behind.

This work week has flown by. Tomorrow I don't work, but I'll be working on wedding stuff until Peter gets home. I decided I didn't want real flowers at the wedding, so I'm making all of them by hand with fabric and buttons. It's a very long process, but it's pretty fun! I'll also be making some decorations for the shower and ceremony site, as well as our card box. I'm pretty excited! I can't wait to be married to Peter.

I just got over a small cold earlier this week, and Peter is getting over his cold. He wanted to have sex last night, but he had such a bad headache yesterday that didn't go away until really late that I didn't want to risk him getting it back. He's been feeling fine today, so maybe I'll get lucky tonight. ^_^

Can't catch a break.

I have the weakest immune system it seems. Always have, even when I was a kid. Some of my friends have said "you think it's because you're a vegetarian?". Simple answer is no, because my immune system has always been shit. But when I think about it more, it probably doesn't help. The first couple years after I went vegetarian, there was no change. I still got sick as much as I used to, nothing different. It's only been the last two or three years that I've dealt with issue after issue. I was vegan for one most of that time, but right around the time I moved back in with my parents last year I went back to being just a vegetarian. There wasn't a whole lot of room in their fridge for my special vegan food. Plus, being a cheese lover, I did buy a lot of vegan cheese. Which is very expensive. The whole reason I moved back in with my parents was to save some money. Can't do that when I'm spending $10 on a pound of "cheese". Anyway.....my point is, I've dealt with more in the last nine months health-wise than I have my whole life. What with catching every cold I come in contact with, or the kidney infection, or tooth infections...And most recently, I've dealt with a horrible cold PLUS a really terrible pain. Where was the the pain? Oh, you know, somewhere in my girly parts. Peter couldn't fuck me without me being in pain. Two doctor appointments later, we're still not sure exactly what it is. They think it's either an ovarian cyst, or polyps. They want me to get an ultrasound to be sure. But since those are really expensive, and I'm pretty much broke, that's going to be really tough to accomplish. Luckily, I'm not in any pain anymore. My doctor said if it is a cyst, the hormones in my birth control should take care of it. I still have to make my appointment for the ultrasound (because the office I went to didn't have the machine, so they're sending me somewhere else). But I can't make my appointment until I have the cash because it is one of those places where you have to pay for your procedure the same day. Luckily, it's one of those low-cost places, but it's still something I can't afford right now. Peter suggested we do as much saving for it as we can, and make the appointment when we can. If the pain comes back before we get the money, then I'm not sure what we'll do. We'll figure something out I guess.

We've had sex three times since my last doctors appointment. And I've had no pain, so that's a really good thing. The pain came about a week and a half before I had my period, so I suppose I'll watch for that again this month. But for now, I'm going to enjoy my pain-free sex.

Ok, not entirely pain-free. Peter wanted to fuck this morning, and I was down for that since we didn't get a chance to yesterday. It was great how he brought it up, too. I had just put the kettle on for my oatmeal, and let the dogs outside. He had already been up for a couple hours, but let me sleep in. He told me "ok, so here's what I was thinking. After you eat, we go fuck, finish the touch-ups in the second bedroom, then go to the store. I'd say we go fuck now, but you just started your breakfast." So we did just that (we've been painting the second bedroom in the house for the last few days, just to clear that part up). When we got to the bedroom, he started to pull off my clothes. Once he had me naked, he played with my pussy before pushing me over the edge of the bed. My cunt was starting to get pretty wet, and he worked on it more before pushing his cock in me. We haven't fucked like that in a while, so the feeling was incredible. After a few minutes, he pulled out and went to the foot of the bed. He had brought out our suitcase full of toys a few weeks ago, but didn't get a chance to use anything since I started having pains. He searched for a few moments, then came back with the flogger. My favorite. He knows this. I think this is why he chose it for our first fun thing in a long time. The first few whips were relatively soft, but that didn't last long. I thought he was going to go easy on me, figuring since it had been so long I might not be able to handle anything too rough. I was wrong; he didn't hold back. After squirming and screaming for a few minutes, he told me to turn around and suck his cock. While I sucked on him, he continued to flog me. He's never flogged me while I sucked his cock before, and I must say it was fantastic. He was enjoying it, too. I can only imagine how the vibrations from my muffled cries felt on his cock. I tried to take him completely in, but of course I choked on his size. He took the opportunity to flip me around, and push me back onto the bed. Forcing his cock back inside my now soaking wet cunt, he fucked and flogged me. Telling me how good of a little slut I am. After awhile, my back went numb. The feeling became more comforting than painful, and I knew he still wasn't holding back. When I looked behind me, I saw how he wound up before bringing the flogger down on me. I knew it should probably hurt, but it didn't. Not really, anyway. He fucked me harder, and flogged me faster. He stopped flogging me only to make me cum with his hands, reaching down to rub my clit. I came with a force, pushing him out. He pushed back in, and continued to fuck me. Harder and harder. I felt him begin to swell inside of me. But I didn't get to feel him explode. He pulled out, and came all over my back and my ass. He demanded my manners, and I said "thank you". He went to grab a warm rag to clean me up with.

With being on all the antibiotics I've been on recently, he's done a lot of pulling out just to be safe. Which is fun if you like being covered in cum. Lucky for me, I actually enjoy it. The only thing I don't enjoy is when it gets in my belly button. I hate that. But I take it, just the same, because that's what I do. I'm his little cum slut. And I take it with pride.

After we were done though, we sat on the bed and just talked. Well, I talked. I looked over at him and noticed him not only staring at me, but he had this amazing smile on his face. I asked him, "what?", and he just said how he enjoyed watching me think. You don't realize it all the time, but sometimes when you live with someone....things just become a day to day thing. I think after the flogging, it sort of woke something up. Peter does a wonderful job of letting me know he loves and adores me, and how sexy he finds me. But it's been a while since he's looked at me that way. It was just really nice. 



I just started listening to some of the Erotic World podcasts, and they're quite entertaining. Lacy reads some erotica on it, and on the blog she links to the person's page who wrote it. Which leads you to reading even more erotica. I've read a lot tonight, and I have to say. I can't wait for Peter to get home tonight. Though I have a bad feeling he is going to have to work late. I really hope not. My cunt is aching for him again. And after how well I took that flogging today, I am ready for more. I'm craving it more than ever. 

Watching porn for fun.

I was never the kind of girl that really liked porn. I just didn't see the point in watching it. I would rather use my imagination to get off on my own. Then once I started dating, and becoming sexually active, porn became something different. It almost felt like the enemy. Boys I would date seemed to be more interested in porn than having sex with me. Which of course made me think there was something wrong with me. I have never really been a small girl, but I do try to take care of myself so I don't feel so gross. But even at my smallest (somewhere in the mid to low-130's), my partner and I rarely had sex, and he pleased himself instead. I eventually decided I was ok with a boyfriend jerking it to porn, as long as he could still keep up with my sex drive. With Peter, I am incredibly lucky. I'm sure he still pleases himself with porn, but I can't think of a time he has ever said no to sex every time I ask (except maybe when one of us wasn't feeling well). I have seen more porn since I've been with Peter than I have in my entire life. Mostly for the sake of educating myself on things, or to see certain tools in action. And actually, they aren't even full porns. Just little clips others post on their blogs and such. Or some of the tumblr pages I visit via the people I follow on Twitter, they post a lot of pictures. And I must say, some of them are very inspiring! Gives me a lot of good ideas to try someday with Peter if we ever get the chance (or tools).

The other night, Peter came home from work and said he had an idea for the night. He suggested that we search for a porn to watch together. I was ready for this, I had mentioned doing this with him at some point, but we never found a good time to do it. We usually would start having sex and at some point in the middle the idea would flash in my brain for a second, then be gone because really...by that point, there was no point for it. So we started looking. We found one on the kinky side, and began to download it, but decided to watch one of the ones he already had just to try it out. I can't remember the name of it or anything, but it was alright. The man in the scene was rather creepy, but I did my best to get past that. Ten minutes in or so, it wasn't doing anything for me. Peter was touching me, but I was distracted by the woman in the video. Her noises were incredibly forced, and starting to get on my nerves. I eventually had to ask Peter if she was the only woman on the entire disk because I couldn't take it anymore. He flipped forward a bit and found a different scene. I ended up not paying any attention to is since he started to have me suck his cock. By then, I really wasn't thinking about the video too much, just the light moans coming from Peter. He motioned for me to bend over so he could fuck me. I was having trouble reaching my peak the whole time. I had just gotten over some sort of stomach bug or something, and it was still in the process of feeling better. I was so afraid of something not so pleasant happening if I came, that it kind of just ruined the night for me in that regard. Which, Peter fixed for me last night when he allowed me to have several orgasms.

We plan to try it again. The more kinky one we found finished downloading yesterday, so that is in the future for us. We were supposed to play this past Saturday. But, of course, a few hours before he was to come home from work I became very ill with whatever stomach virus I had (and continued to have until Monday night). He has to work twelve hours on Saturday, so maybe I can talk him into some fun either tonight, or tomorrow before he goes to work. Or maybe not, since it seems every time I try to plan something it never works out that way. Which is why I really haven't been updating. There hasn't been a whole lot slave-related to talk about. I doubt anyone who reads this actually wants to hear me bitch about my days in general.

Hope you all are doing well! I will keep updating as much as I can! Please don't forget about me. <3

Preparing myself for him.

When you live in the Mitten, you must prepare yourself to deal with sinus issues. I've been having pretty severe sinus pressure the last few days. Claritin normally takes excellent care of it, but recently it hasn't been doing much of anything. Peter has been aware of the pain I'm in, so he sent a text to check and see how I was doing. I was feeling better than I was earlier in the day, so he told me to prepare myself for him when he got home. He requested I wear my blue and black corset with my silver boots, and at 8 o'clock I was to put my plug in. I was a bit nervous to say the least. It had been a while since I last had anything in my bum, and I wasn't sure how excited I was to do that again. To be completely honest, the whole idea of it is hotter in theory than in the actual act of it. I'm not saying I don't enjoy it, it's just not my favorite. Anyway....

I hopped in the shower around 7 and began getting ready for him. I put on the corset, but had the damnedest time reaching all of the hooks. I hate it when that happens, but I did the best I could (getting all the bottom ones, most of the middle, and part of the top). I got the lube and my plug out once I had the corset and boots on and started to lube it up. It took a bit of trying to relax to get it in. Probably took a good five minutes at least to get it in. Once it was in, I didn't really want to get up and chance it shooting out, so I basically stayed on the bed, legs up in the air, and waited for Peter to get home. When he walked in the bedroom, he was only in his boxers. He looked at my presentation, and admired it. Commenting on how great it looked. He asked me to roll over on the bed. He went over to the suitcase where we keep all of our toys, and grabbed the plastic paddle. He began lightly swatting my bottom, and part of my legs which stung a bit. Harder and harder...he worked up to more forceful blows until my ass was red and burning to the touch. Peter grazed his hands across my skin, and took a few swats with his bare hands to feel it grow hotter with each blow. He asked me if I wanted more. If I deserved more. I begged him for more, and told him I deserved it. I had been a good girl. I just wanted it so bad. I was not expecting what he did next, but I was pleasantly surprised. He began running the pinwheel up and down my inner thigh, so close to my pussy. Teasing me. Taunting me. Pushing harder. He grabbed the can and ran it across my skin. The first crack he took didn't sting much, but it was not light by any means. One after another, he whipped the can in strategic places. A few minutes in, he stopped to admire his work again and commented on how it was a work of art (I wasn't entirely sure what he meant by that until I saw the marks later). Peter gave my ass a few more crack with the cane before having me stand up. He kissed my neck and grabbed my hair, pulling me to the ground to suck his cock. After a few moments, he told me it was time to take out my plug. He lubed his cock up and told me to bend over on the bed. He slid slowly into my ass, making sure I was fully prepared for him before pushing himself deep. He fucked me for a while...telling me how such a good little slut I was being. He brushed his hands against my ass as it bounced against his hips with each thrust, admiring his work yet again. Sir loved how good I had been for him, and allowed me to cum. He let me use my toy, pulled out, and watched me pleasure myself with my ass in the air. He pushed in as I was nearing another orgasm and continued to fuck me. Sir asked if I wanted his cum in my ass and I begged him for it. He then stopped, and said no. He told me we would clean up, then he would fuck my cunt. He told me to come sit by him when I got back into the bedroom. I kneeled next to him and he kissed me before telling me to lie on my back. When his cock entered my cunt, it felt fantastic. He told me how good of a slut I was being for letting him fuck all three of my holes, and he would reward me with his cum.

After cleaning up, I took a look at the work he had done. It sort of looked like he used the cane in a circular motion, making the marks look sort of look like rays of sunshine. I forgot to take a picture last night, so this is a next day picture.

Bruising has already started to happen, so that is nice, but you can still see some of the red marks from the cane. To my surprise, there was no stinging sensation last night after the fact while we went about our evening. My skin must finally be getting used to it (although the right side seems a bit more sensitive to the blows).

Next Saturday is my 25th birthday. Peter managed to get the afternoon off from work. He'll still have to work most of the day, but he'll be able to do things with me for my birthday. I plan to go out for sushi with Peter, some close friends, and my family. I'm not terribly excited about my birthday in general (just some personal issues), but I'm doing my best to stay positive that it is going to be fun.

I should get going. Peter will be home in an hour and I still need to take a shower and feed the animals.

Everybody has issues.

Even with all of the events going on in my life right now, I want to keep writing in here. I might not have a bunch of new stories, but maybe I can just talk about the life Peter and I lead and maybe go more into the dynamic of our relationship. Maybe not…..who knows. Just a heads up that there might not be a whole lot of new kinky tales. They will probably pop up here and there until things settle down, but I will do my best to write in as much detail as I can when they do happen. Today there will be a short one.

Peter hasn’t been feeling very good lately, he started to come down with something. We weren’t sure what, but after looking online at his symptoms we were almost positive it was either salmonella or a horrible version of the stomach flu. I know salmonella would have been a huge stretch, but he had more of the symptoms to that than he did the stomach flu (although the symptoms are quite similar). It wasn’t until he was at work yesterday when out of nowhere his fever came back and he developed serious sinus pressure and congestion (which he has not had the whole time he’s been ill). He decided to go to the doctor after work, and found out he had a bad sinus infection. The doc still checked him out for all the other issues he had before the horrible congestion, but basically it was all leading up to this. Go figure. That wasn’t even one of the possibilities when we checked his symptoms online (obviously we understand the web isn’t a medical professional, but it was still odd). His doctor gave him super antibiotics that will hopefully kick the shit out of this infection because this is the second sinus infection he’s had in the last three months or so. I’m really hoping for the light at the end of the tunnel to appear at any moment.

The other night when Peter wasn’t feeling too terrible, he told me to go to the bedroom and get naked because he wanted to see my ass. I did as I was told, and he bent me over the bed. He began to swat at my bottom with his bare hands. We had just walked in from outside not long before, so my body was still so cold which made each crack hurt a little more than normal. I quickly warmed up to his touch as he continued to wail on my ass. Turning me so that I could suck his cock while he continued to spank my ass, he made sure my pussy was nice and wet for him before he bent me back over the bed and began to fuck me. Sir moved his hand between my legs as he pounded away into me. He rubbed my clit until I asked permission to cum. Once permission was given, I didn’t hold back. I gushed all over, soaking the floor beneath me, part of the bed frame, the skirt I had taken off prior to fucking, as well as myself. My own juices dripped down my legs as he began to fuck me harder. A few moments later, he flipped me over onto my back and pushed himself deep inside. Sir held his hand to my throat and pressed his thumb hard against my soft skin. Slapping me a few times, asking if I enjoy the fucking he is giving me…the little slut that I am. When he came, he was painfully deep inside my cunt and it felt so powerful. I was allowed to clean myself up before coming back to bed to lay down. He did not make me clean up the mess I had made on the floor, he soaked it up with my skirt while I cleaned myself up.

Earlier this week there was a submissive munch going on not terribly far from where we live. I figure it would be a nice way to meet other submissives in the general area, and just get to know someone out this way. Most of my friends live close to an hour away which isn’t terribly far. But to just go grab a cup of coffee or a drink, the drive can be a bit much. I talked to Peter about this and he was a little unsure of it at first, but knew it was something I really wanted to at least try. Unfortunately by the time I had learned about the munch, it was only a few days away, and I still have a lot of healing to do from all the crap that has been going on in my life. I have been keeping to myself for the most part which doesn’t make me the greatest friend right now. Luckily my closest friends are very understanding of the situation, although some do wish I would talk about my issues more. For me, it’s a matter of feeling like a burden or a downer. I don’t like dropping my problems on other people if I can help it. I do talk to Peter about a lot of stuff, but I feel like I’m a downer even with him. He doesn’t give off the impression that I’m bringing him down or anything, I just don’t want to accidentally bring him down with me. He has enough on his plate with work, car, and health problems that I don’t want him to worry about my stuff on top of it all. I expressed this to him, and he made me feel more comfortable. He explained that we’re a team now, and my problems are ours now, and we will deal with them together. Which me being the type of person I am makes me worry more because I don’t want him to have to worry about all the stuff I do. Which, he doesn’t. He’s the type of person who can see a problem, and ignore it if it isn’t actually his problem. For instance, my mother is having issues right now. They don’t directly involve me, but I know a lot about what is going on so she vents to me. I get so involved emotionally with the issues that it gets me worked up and worried, which leads to many panic attacks. Most of which happen when Peter is not home (she has a knack for calling when he isn’t home). Then by the time he gets home, even if I had a good day, I’m drained of everything and I just sulk. He understand that I’m going through a lot on my own, and he has been wonderful trying to help me get through the bad days, but he hates that I get so worked up over something that is not my problem. I’ve tried telling my mother that she needs to talk to a therapist instead, but it’s hard. I feel like I have to sugar-coat it because I don’t want her to think she can’t talk to me. It just gets frustrating when she asks for advice about the same thing over and over again and then blatantly ignores my suggestions every single time. I understand times are tough and she can’t get to a therapist because of the cost (even with her insurance), but she needs to do something. As do I, but I’m working on it. Sort of.

Anyway. My birthday is coming up, and I’m trying to figure out what I want to wear for whatever I end up doing. I’m considering ordering something awesome from Trashy.com, or just get something from Noir Leather next time I’m out that way. I still haven’t decided what I want to do for my birthday, but I know it will involve dressing up fancy for a nice dinner with my friends, and who knows after that. The idea of going to this place called City Club has been brought up, but I’ve only been there a couple of times and it gets quite crowded and warm in there. Or I could just skip that, and just come home after dinner and have fun with my Sir. I still have some time to think about it before the actual day. Hopefully I can figure out something to do by then.

You're my medicine.

I know my updates have been pretty scarce. I've been dealing with a lot of stuff lately and keeping my depression at bay has been extremely exhausting. I do have good days though, and when I do have them, I take full advantage of them.

Last week Peter and I wanted to do a little playing. Nothing too extreme since with how my head has been lately, we don't really know when I'm going to snap out of my "good day". He told me to bend over the bed, but would not let me lay my torso on it. I could only use my hand and arms to rest myself on the mattress. Sir spanked me with his bare hands for while, switching back and forth between cheeks. I took it like a champ, and barely cried out. He rewarded me with the flogger before fucking me.

Another night He told me to suck his cock. I sucked for a long while until my jaw started to do the closing thing (I have been sucking his cock a lot more lately, so naturally my jaw issues would come into play at some point). Sir had me lay on my back and hang my head over the edge of the bed so I could lick his balls while he looked at my naked body and touched himself. He ordered me to get myself off while I licked him. I swirled my tongue across his skin as I brought myself to orgasm. When he came, it was a lot...and all over my tits. He usually does have pretty intense orgasms when I play with his balls, so it wasn't too much of a surprise. I enjoyed being covered in him until he cleaned me up.

We've both been very busy the last couple of days. Last night I went to see the Scissor Sisters with Bella and Addy. It had been a couple of days since Peter and I last had sex, and I was incredibly horny all day. Once I figured out when I had to meet the girls at Addy's house, I told Peter we would have time to play around a bit. He was especially excited for this since he knew I was dressing up in a sexy little outfit for the concert. I sent him a little picture of the back of my leg where my mini skirt ended, and I was holding the cane against it (somehow he never got it....weird). When he got home, he was in a horrible mood. Work for him wasn't bad until the last half hour or so when some shit went down. After he calmed down, I figured we would snuggle so I took my boots off while he went to the bathroom. We laid down next to each other for a few moments and snuggle kissed, then he ran his hand up my leg, feeling up my fishnets and underneath my skirt. He asked what kind of panties I ended up going with. I showed him that I just did black boy shorts under the black lace boy short top that was part of the fishnets (something I had never seen before...they are very cute). He then told me to pull them down a bit so he could see my ass. He started to stroke himself as he looked at my bare ass under the skirt. Then He told me to kneel on the ground and suck his cock. I took him in my mouth with enthusiasm, swirling my tongue around his cock for a few minutes. That's when I decided to take him really deep down my throat. I sort of unhinged my jaw the wrong way, causing me to get a charlie-horse. Luckily I was successful at getting him down as far as I wanted to first before having to move my head back. He loved it, and had me bend over the bed. Still having my panties and fishnets not pulled all the way down, my legs were practically closed when he penetrated my cunt. It felt absolutely incredible. He kept pulling my skirt down over my ass so it just peeked out while he fucked me. He spanked me and called me his little slut, making me want it even more. I begged him to cane me, telling him I had been a really good girl all day. He fucked me harder for a few more thrusts before plunging deep into me and staying there for a few moments while I cried out. He went to grab the cane, lightly tapping my legs with it. A hard hit here, a few soft taps there, more hard....Sir gave most attention to my right leg (I assume because it's more sensitive these days than the left for some reason, and needs to be trained). I thanked him when he stopped, and he continued to fuck me. I had become so wet from the caning, he slid in and out easily. Sir wanted me to cum for him, so I reached to touch myself. Once I achieved an orgasm, I convulsed enough to push him out, but he didn't miss much of a beat and just went back to it. He ordered me to cum again (a second orgasm without having to ask? Hell yeah!). When I was done, I just continued to enjoy the feeling of him inside me. I could feel his cock swelling up inside me: he was going to cum soon. I asked for permission to touch his balls, and he allowed it. Then I begged for him to fill me. He came pretty hard; not enough where I felt it hit inside of me, but I could feel how much he grew just before exploding. I went to clean up, then came back to the bedroom. He checked my legs; the marks were pretty wonderful, and my ass had taken quite a beating from just his hand spanking it. I put my boots back on, and headed out the door to see my friends. The skirt I was wearing was short, but I think it still covered my marks up a little. Though if there were any short people  that happened to look my way, they may have seen them. It's not that I'm super tall or anything, but even at 5'6" I feel like an amazon. Add 3 and a half inch platforms to that, and I'm super tall (I really wish I wasn't so tall because I love wearing tall shoes, but I hate being naturally tall).

Ok, now I'm babbling. So tonight I took a couple pictures, not too many. Today hasn't been one of those "good days", so I wasn't really in the mood to do much. I put some in photoshop and did a little something to make a banner for the blog, but I'm not sure which one I should go with.

 This one, I did the rope work. I'm not good with rope work. I suppose I don't really need to be since I'm not the one tying someone up. So yeah....one of these days I'll see if Peter will tie me up and take some pictures of his work.

You can kinda see the marks Peter gave me (the dots on my bottom are from his hand, and all the other ones are from the cane). It was a light caning obviously.

My gag! We haven't really used it since we got it, but I love it. I would really like to use it, but we just haven't found a time to do it. Eventually. ^_^

Oh! And here are the two banners I've been messing with. Might add more to them, but I still gotta pick which one I want to use.

Might add some flourishes or something to them to fancy them up or something.

Tush is a little bruised.

I swear....if it's not one thing, it's another. I started to develop a cough at some point last week, and it only seemed to get worse. Determined to not get sick, I tried to ignore it and just use some cough drops. Peter and I attempted to do a little playing Wednesday night. He tied my wrists up and brought out the Wartenberg wheel. He ran it all up and down my back, ass, and legs. Leaving tiny dotted lines all over my skin. He got out the plastic paddle and started to give me a good spanking. I'm assuming a combination of not feeling great and my senses being heightened, as well as it had been a long time since I've been really paddled made the next thing happen. I cried out for him to stop, then I rolled over to my side. He kept telling me to roll over in a forceful voice, and for some reason, I just didn't want to. I apparently wasn't in the headspace I should have been in, and I just blanked. Finally I rolled over and he ran his hands across my bottom. Then he untied me, and we stopped. I didn't want him to really, but he could tell something was wrong. Why didn't I roll over when he asked? He told me he wasn't going to paddle me again right away and that I should have just trusted him. For some strange reason, I was unsure if he would paddle me again. There has never been a time where I felt like that before, and it didn't even seem right for me to feel like that. He had done nothing wrong....I just wasn't there. Apparently my body wasn't ready for all of that and it knew, but I didn't. I was so focused on getting some play time since we haven't played in so long that I didn't even consider the idea that I might not be able to get into the proper headspace at that moment because I was about to get very ill. We did eventually have sex that night, but it wasn't rough at all. Peter was very gentle, and everything felt incredible.

Thursday I ended up going to the doctor because it appeared I was getting sick (big surprise). Not the typical head cold. It was all in my chest, and I couldn't stop coughing. According to the doctor, I have bronchitis, pharyngitis, and an upper respiratory infection. She told me to keep taking the medicine I was taking (Robitussin DM, Claritin D, and Musinex D), and then gave me a prescription for an anti-biotic. Go big or go home, right? So annoying. I spent the next couple of days trying to feel better. By Saturday night I was feeling a bit better, just a little tired. I asked Peter again if we could play, but nothing too hard or crazy. Since I was still sick, plus it had been so long since I've had a good beating I figured a little light play would be a great way to get me back into the swing of things. We weren't able to have regular sex though because I was to see my gyno on Monday for my annual exam, and you're not supposed to have vaginal intercourse a couple days before that. So he started off by having me bend over on the bed, and he dragged the flogger up and down my back. The feel of the streams running up and down my back were so familiar and comforting. The first few whips were soft and gentle, like streamers on a bicycle brushing against your skin as they blow in the summer breeze. Peter began to flog me a little harder every few whips or so, then stopping again to caress my skin with the streams of the flogger. After a few moments, he had me turn around to suck his cock; my reward for doing such a good job of taking my flogging. Peter brought out the paddle and swatted one cheek at a time, caressing the reddened cheek with his hands between ever few. After several switches between cheeks, he would allow me to suck on him again, then it was back to my paddling. Harder and harder he hit, the right cheek seemed to be more sensitive than the left to the beating. Finally, he said "one more good one" before letting me take his cock into my mouth once more. He fucked my mouth for a few minutes as he told me how such a good girl I was, and allowed me to play with my pussy while my tongue danced around his cock. He told me to turn back around, and put my ass in the air for him. Sir rubbed my asshole with his finger tips, then switched to tease it with the tip of his cock before grabbing the lube to get me ready for him. Praising my devotion to please him, he pushed himself inside my ass slowly and gently. Once Sir was balls deep in my ass, he told me I was such a good girl. He allowed me to continue to rub my pussy while he fucked me. When I felt an orgasm coming on, I begged for him to allow it. He asked me a few questions like if I really wanted it, and how close I was....just tormenting me, and keeping me on the edge before he granted me permission. I came a couple times before he unloaded into me. It was a pretty interesting night, and my ass still doesn't feel right. I told him we may have to give my ass a break from sex for a while, and he is alright with that.

I am completely frustrated with his work right now. They made him work 4pm to 4am last Monday (but he didn't find this out until after he had started his shift that was supposed to only last until midnight), and then they promised he wouldn't have to do it again this Monday. They lied. He sent me a text to say he most likely will have to do it again. I know we can use the money, but I hate that they are wearing him down like this. It is most likely going to make his body less resistant to sickness from all the stress and lack of sleep, and he is probably going to catch what I have. We have had enough bad luck with crap just happening. Yes, I am very grateful that he even has a job in this economy, and I know I should just can it but...I just worry about his health. Physical and mental health.

One good thing about when I go home today: I get to open a package that came for me today. I had ordered shoes from Snaz57 over a week ago, and Peter said it got delivered. Nothing too fancy, just a cute pair of mary jane's and then a pair of calf boots. I already feel like an amazon as it is a 5'6", so I know I don't need 3 inch heels but.....I loved these soo much, I couldn't pass them up. Peter and I want to go to the Dirty Show this weekend, but those plans are still up in the air. If we do go, I may wear one of my new pairs of shoes out for it.

I suppose I can break off now. I have a few more things I want to get done before I leave work tonight, then it's off to dance around in my new shoes, and then curl up with the TV.

Dealing with loss.

I started writing this entry basically the day after my last entry because like I said, I wanted everything to be fresh, and with every detail I could muster up. Unfortunately, more sickness as well as tragic events shook things up....



Tuesday, January 25th when I got home, Peter was on the couch so I went to go relax with him. I kicked my legs up on his lap while we tried to figure out what to do for dinner. He started smacking my leg repeatedly. I tried to make him stop a couple times until I realized he wasn't doing it to be a dick....he was prepping my skin. It's been a while since I've had a good beating, so basically I've gone soft. I took it for a while, my skin was red hot, until he decided to give me a break. We went out, did dinner, then came back and started preparing fruit bowls for the week. By the time we finished that, it was late and he had to get up early for work (by early I mean 1am). He gave me a choice; either we could have fun that night but not to the full extent we were hoping (and risk him being exhausted for work), or we could have fun the next day and really go all out. I opted for the latter, but we still had sex. When we got to the bedroom, he pinched my nipples and forced me to my knees. I told him that I thought we weren't doing the whole shebang, and he simply said that that doesn't mean I can't be on my knees for him. I sucked on him for a while, then he told me to get myself ready for his cock. I lubed up while I continued to suck on him a few minutes longer, then he had me get on my knees on the bed. He fucked me for a while, and couldn't stop grabbing my ass and just staring at it. He hasn't fucked it in so long and I know he really wants to. Even if I hadn't known before we started to fuck, I would have because he kept circling my hole with his thumb as he fucked my cunt. Eventually he had me flip over so he could be on top of me. He told me he wanted me to cum for him, so I began to touch myself. It was in this moment when I realized just how much it turns me on to watch him watch me masturbate. I don't know if it's just that he was watching that, or the fact that he was watching me touch myself while he fucked me. Either way....it was hot, and I came so fucking hard. I started to play with his nipples when he moved back down closer to me, something I noticed a few nights ago that really does it for him. Flicking my tongue against them, sucking gently on them, pinching them...it drives him wild. I found a nice rhythm between what he liked while he fucked me. Listening to him moan, his cock swelling inside of me, the familiar rhythm of him moving in and out of me pushed me over the edge again. Peter loves it when I am actually able to cum without the use of hands or toys. I do too, especially because it rarely ever happens. It turned me on so much, I really started focusing on his nipples again, this time more with my mouth and sucking them. First sucking light, then harder, and back again. I could tell from how he moaned that he was getting closer. Finally he came, and I held onto his nipple until I started to feel him come down (which wasn't for 20 seconds or so). We were both exhausted and just laid there for a few moments while we tried to catch our breath before cleaning up. I sat with him in bed for a little bit after while we played games our own DS. Even though I was just sitting there, I was still trying to get my breathing back to normal. It was just really good sex with fantastic orgasms.

Wednesday night Peter had plans to tie me up and do lots of fantastic things to me. We went out to dinner to watch the hockey game, then came right home to get to it. Well, I wasn't feeling great after eating. Something didn't taste right in my food. So we just started to ease into things. I sucked Peter off on the couch for a while. He said it felt so good he didn't want me to stop, so I didn't until he came. He was going to "take care of me", but from how he said it....I thought he meant just get me off, and I didn't want just that. So I declined, and got ready for bed. I started to not feel too hot, so it ended up working out. Though he later explained that he meant he was going to flog me a bit, but  like I said....not feeling great.

Thursday I was rudely awoken at 5am by the urge to be sick. I spent about 75-80% of the day in the bathroom violently being sick. Once I felt like I wasn't going to be sick for at least 10 minutes, I called the restaurant to let them know what had happened. By Friday, I was better. I just felt really sore and still a little nauseated, so playing was still out of the question.

Saturday, January 29th in the early morning I received a call from my mother with some terrible news. One of my best friends (who was considered family) was killed in a car crash late Friday night. I have basically been wreck since, which would explain why I seemed to drop off the face of the earth for the last couple weeks. We've tried to have sex since then and it has been good, I've just been not really "all there".

Yesterday before going to a super bowl party, we had sex and it was really good. Randomly I asked him to use the candle wax. Now, I've never done this before, he has. So it was my first time getting hot candle wax dripped on me. At first it was a little intense and I wasn't sure if I liked it. Peter dripped it on my chest and stomach, then a little on my legs. He had me move to the edge of the bed so I could suck on his cock while he dripped the wax on me. Covering my tits with the wax as I screamed with his cock deep in my mouth...ahh, I'm sure it was quite a lovely sight for him. I know I sure started to enjoy it. When he moved to slide inside of me, I was super slick so he slid right in. He fucked me as he dripped more wax on me. Sometimes when he'd bring the candle up higher, it would splash against my skin and small drips would hit my neck, sending crazy sensations of slight pain all over. I asked him to drip some directly onto my nipples. I wanted to know what that felt like. I will say this right now....it is painful. A sexy kind of painful, but still....painful. They are still quite tender today.

I wanted to play when we got home, but neither of us was feeling up for it. I'd love to play tonight, but his work has decided to dick him around once more, so his new Monday work schedule is 4pm to midnight. Yes, he still has tomorrow off, but I don't so no playing tonight. If I want any sort of play action tomorrow, it will basically have to be right when I get home from work because he has to wake up on Wednesday at 1am for work.


I'm still trying to heal from all of the pain of my friends death, but I know it is going to take a lot of time. I keep trying to distract myself with things I enjoy doing, but every down moment I get I just feel....off.

Almost all moved in!

I know I'm very overdue for an update, but I've been a busy bee!

Work + moving + extra work + getting organized + taking care of Peter + family drama = very stressed, very busy Kai.

I ended up moving into Peter's house on the 4th. Just clothes and a few other things. I went back to get more from my parents house that Thursday (the 6th), and ended up coming back with more food than "stuff". I went back the following Thursday again to grab more stuff while Peter was at work. He's been sick the last week and a half, so between everything that was going on and trying to take care of him...things have been crazy. Unfortunately I don't have anything too kinky to write about since we have both been very busy. Peter and I spent most of our free time trying to get things in order at the house, including going to Ikea and getting a new shelf for the living room to display some of my collectibles, books, and DVDs. Towards the end of my first week being there he started to not feel so well. He finally went to the doctor to find out he had a sinus infection. When he wasn't home and I was, I spent most of that time cleaning and disinfecting everything in the house, and tried to have soup ready for him when he got home from work. Peter has been working extra hours at work which hasn't been helping him get better, but finally he's starting to feel better.

We've had sex almost ever day that I've been living there except for the nights when he really wasn't feeling well. Last night, he came into the living room and told me to get up and take my clothes off so we could go have sex. I have been incredibly sensitive lately, luckily the good kind of sensitive, so I feel everything really well. The last few times, I've had to ask him to go really slow because it was very overwhelming. But last night he made me squirt more than I have in a while. I got some distance with it too. Yes, I even hit myself in the face with it. It's all very hilarious to me, but we just kept going. When we were finished, he allowed me to clean up then made me sit on a towel where I made my mess and soak it up before I changed the sheets, and threw the wet ones in the washer. I had bent over at one point, and he cracked me so hard on the ass that he left a very distinct hand print on my right butt cheek. He said he couldn't wait until he was better (I had asked him over the weekend if when he gets better if we can play again, and he said yes). Master says he is going to tie me up, use some toys, and have fun with me. I can't wait! Hopefully he's feeling better by the weekend.

I'm not 100% moved in yet, but we're getting there. I'd say about 75%. I bought a new storage shelf on Sunday that I still have to assemble to put seldom used pots and pans on it so we can make some room in the kitchen to have room for canned food and the like.

I should get a move on now. I have some work to do before I head out for lunch.

May you survive 2011!

2010 was a big mess of a year. Bad things happening left and right, with a few glimmers of hope that would pop up once in a while. As a whole, it was not a great year. Meeting Peter was a great thing, yes, and I won't ever forget that. I am the type of person to see the silver lining in just about every crap situation, so I am not going to completely knock 2010. Just slight knock it.

2011 started off great. Peter and I went to Addy's house for a small NYE party. We were a little bummed that he had to work at 8am on new years day, but we weren't going to let that stop us from having a good time. Peter got a good buzz going on, and I stayed sober so that I could get us back to his house safely. I only had a half glass of champagne at midnight, and kissed Peter when the ball dropped. It was really fantastic. I am so happy and thankful that I got to start this new year off with him. While at the party, Peter would occasionally pinch my ass. Almost always in the same spot, and harder each time (including as we were waiting for the ball to drop). At one point, I was bending over to grab something and Addy smacked my ass. It felt as if she cracked it as hard as she could, but I didn't even flinch. When I asked if her if that's all she's got, she said she didn't think she would need to ever practice spanking someone that hard. Peter and I both said at the same time "you never know". It made me smile, and everyone else laugh. The only other person at the party who knew about the type of relationship Peter and I have was Bella, so I got that kick of "nobody knows" which I absolutely love.

I slept in until noon the next day, which was way later than I wanted to sleep. The only reason why I even got up at noon was because Peter called me on his lunch break to see if I was up. Clearly, he knows me well. I got up and started to get some work done on my laptop. Didn't get very far, and the next thing I know it's 3 o'clock. I wanted to be showered and ready to go do whatever when Peter got back from work at 4, so I stopped working and got in the shower. I had just finished getting ready, and sat down to start working again when Peter walked in the door. He had sent me a text message earlier saying he wanted to take a nap and snuggle when he got back because he was so exhausted. Once he was in the house, I walked to the bedroom and jumped in bed. We snuggled for a bit, then we were briefly interrupted by the sound of my dog tearing up an old comic book. Hopped back in bed, and Peter followed, spooning me. He began to nuzzle and kiss my neck. I eventually rolled to my back to kiss him properly, and then he stopped. He looked at me, and asked me to move in with him. After saying yes, we couldn't stop kissing each other. It was very cute and romantic and amazing. That led to some sexin' which was quite lovely. We couldn't stop smiling at each other, and it felt so good. That new lube really is quite amazing. I remembered what it was called finally. It is the Swiss Navy silicon lubricant. That stuff is awesome. Of course, it's the first silicon lubricant we've ever used, so there could be better, but I am completely satisfied with this stuff. It's not terrible in price either. We got the smallest bottle the store had just to try it, and I think it was only $8. Totally worth it when you don't have to stop mid session to re-lube (mind you, we typically only need it when I'm on my period or when I haven't been drinking enough water).

Sunday we went to visit a local museum and checked out the current exhibit. We got a membership, so we'll be going to do that a lot in the next year. I really wanted to get some work done, we we bought a frozen pizza to eat since I could eat it with a fork and not have to constantly wipe my hands before touching my keyboard. After dinner and getting some work done, we went to the bedroom to snuggle and have sex before I went back to my parents house. We started off kissing as we typically do, and he moved my hand to his cock. I asked him if he only wanted me to just hold it. He told me because I even asked, I now had to suck it. He was a little forceful, and it delighted me. I love swirling my tongue around his cock to please him. He grabbed my head and fucked my mouth a few times, forcing his cock deep down my throat and holding it for a few moments several times. He pulled my head up to kiss me and then moved on top of me. With the help of the lube, he slid in with ease. Peter fucked me for a while, and kept biting at my shoulder and neck. Everything felt so good, I just felt so relaxed as his teeth dug deeper into my skin. He told me to turn over so he could fuck me from behind. He loves being able to see my ass when he fucks me, and he makes a point to mention that every time he fucks me this way. He grabs it, and says things like "mmm...that ass". It might not sound hot to anyone else, but it turns me on knowing that he is swimming in pleasure from the sight. He smacked my ass a few times, and I tried to hoist myself up on my hands. He reached down and grabbed hold of my tits and just pinched and twisted away at my nipples. Then he reached for my shoulders and my neck, slapping my face a little asking if I liked what he was doing. He pushed my head down to the pillows and held me there with one arm across my shoulder blades and railed into me. Master goes so deep sometimes it makes my head spin. He pulled out and ordered me on my back again. When I didn't move fast enough, he smacked my ass. When I got on my back he pulled my legs up to his shoulders and began to nibble at my calves, then biting. I squirmed away a bit only to have him pull out, hold my ankles together, and proceed to spank me before forcing his cock back into my cunt. With one hand on my hip, and the other on my throat, he fucked me. Then he moved his hand over to my clit and began to rub. I was already so close I begged for permission, and he allowed. I squirted a little, and he went back to fucking me. Master gave me a few smacks to the face for not saying thank you right away. When he came, I felt it. It was almost a shock to the body, but it felt great. Master allowed me to clean myself up, then I came back to bed. We laid there for a few minutes before getting up. I prepared a salad for him to have on his lunch break the next day, and took care of some dishes before leaving.

The plan for the move now is tomorrow. Since my parents house isn't terribly far from his house, I'm just going to move in what I need right now to get by, and then probably this weekend we'll go and grab some more stuff. Peter has to work really early on Wednesday, so he'll be going to bed early on Tuesday. I told him if I still needed more time to pack things, that I could always do it Wednesday since he gets off work at 1, and doesn't have to work until 4pm on Thursday. I know he wants me to come out tomorrow, and I would like to as well, but I didn't do squat last night when I got back to my parents house (except tell them that he asked me to move in). On top of that, I'm still at work. I got off work at 4 o'clock, but decided to stay late to get work for my other job done. I knew if I went home I would have been distracted with drama and the TV, so I opted to stay here where it's quiet, and I could really focus. Which I have been doing, and I'm really close to being done. I still have laundry to do, then packing up all that laundry in tubs to take to his house. I hope I can go according to the plan, but I have a feeling my big move over there will have to wait until Wednesday. I just have too much work to get done on top of packing. I know what you're thinking. Why am I updating my blog when I should be working, right? I have a lot of down time when things are being processed that I can't do any more work until that is finished. That down time allows me to type a little here and there. To give you an estimate, I started this update at roughly 3pm today. It is nearly 10pm. Yeah.

Moving is a priority, but since I've already been paid a portion for the work I'm doing, it takes a slightly higher rank. Trying not to stress about it though. Everything will work out. I should head out. This one project is nearly complete, and once that is done I am heading home. I still have more work to do, but it can wait. I need sleep.

Hope everyone had an excellent start to 2011!!!

Breaking skin.

Wednesday morning, Peter sent me this text: "We're gonna have some fun on Friday slut. I want to see that ass turn black and blue." Of course this excited me to my very core, so before actually going to bed, I had masturbated. The combination of the text and self pleasure probably led to the pretty intense sex dreams I had that night. The one I remember the most is the one I woke up to, which the end image that is in my head is me squirting everywhere. This lead to a topic of discussion in one of the groups I'm part of on Fetconnect. In the topic about how many times you have masturbated today, I mentioned how I had Wednesday night, and then had a sex dream later on. I then asked if that counted? Which lead me to think I could ask Peter's opinion on the matter as well. When I asked, he said "Yes, only because I want to be evil.", knowing that by saying yes, it would most likely put me over my limit. When it was confirmed, he said I would have to be punished. My thoughts were that once we got to playing, he would not allow me to cum, but I will get to that soon.

This weekend was filled with a lot of fun, both inside and outside of the bedroom, as well as some stress. Normally I stay over Peter's house the entire weekend. But near the end of the work day on Friday, he told me to just come straight to his house (instead of going to get my dog, then coming over), and that I probably shouldn't stay over. When I got off work and had started on my way to his house, he called to tell me if I want to stay to go get my dog, then come over. The issue had been his work. They were trying to make him work a position he had not been trained for (even though he has asked many times to be trained). Anyway...long story short, by the end of the day things were worked out, and he didn't have to work. So I went to pack my things, and head on over. After having some dinner, we came back and snuggled on the couch. He started to tease me with a kiss, then deny me the next. This went on for several minutes before he started to grab my hair and guide me here and there. This led to me crouched down on the floor, and he whispered in my ear to go to his room, take off all my clothes, kneel on the ground, and wait for him. I followed his instructions and waited. By the time he got in the room (which wasn't very long at all), my legs had become painfully numb (I apparently have poor circulation). He grabbed my hair and pulled my head up, bent down to kiss me, then went over to his dresser. He pulled pulled out the paddle and gave me a few good swats. Then he went back, and began to pull more things out. I peaked behind me, and he saw me. He stopped, and told me to keep my head down and facing away from him. He brought the cane out and began to serve me some more punishment. I was giddy as hell because I had been craving the cane for so long. He switched to the flogger briefly until I told him that the pain in my legs was becoming unbearable (it's not the "feel good" kind of pain I like). He then stopped, and told me that he hoped I took advantage of my privileges while I had them, because he was taking them away (meaning my one time weekly self pleasure privilege). He then began to work behind me before moving in front of me, ordering my wrists out to him. Peter then tied them up tight, then told me to stand. I stood with great difficulty since the pain was pretty extreme. He told me to go to the end of the bed where he had laid out the spreader bar, and spread my legs. He cuffed my ankles and attached the bar. Taking my wrists, he wrapped another strand of rope in between my wrists and connected it to the headboard of his bed, effectively bending me over the foot of the bed leaving me incapable of moving more than a few inches. He resumed my punishment, switching back and forth between tools, adding the new Wartenberg wheel. When he dragged it down my sides, it tickled so I giggled. Which led him to do it more, and harder. God, that felt soo good. Occasionally, Peter would run his hand across my cunt, feeling how wet I was, then gently teasing my asshole before he slid into me. It was an interesting position to be fucked in, but I enjoyed it very much. Being that restricted, and not having really any control....it was incredible. Eventually, I completely lost real feeling in my hands and the pain from it became quite distracting. Peter untied me and ordered me to my back, and fucked me so hard for quite a while. He allowed me to cum which was really awesome, and I squirted quite a bit. Then he went for the thing he loves; my ass. God, it hurt. He had been planning to get me a plug so we could train my ass, but we have yet to get around to that yet. Eventually it started to feel better, but at first...yeah, pain. After we were done, he allowed me to go clean up before he did. When he came back to the room, he brought me a towel to put on the bed and told me to sit down on it to soak up my mess. We sat together and talked about the session. He had been wanting to tie me up how he did for a while, and this was a perfect time to do it. He brought one thing to my attention that I never knew happened; he said he knew I was really turned on but not because he saw me drip...no no. He said my pussy was so swollen and red, which I had no clue that sort of thing happens. I learned something about myself that nigth! ha. Peter also mentioned that with the wheel, he broke skin. It wasn't bad, but deep enough to make me bleed a little. I didn't notice when it happened. Even if I had, it wouldn't have phased me since I am slightly curious about knife play. We spent the rest of the night nerding out; him on his DS playing one of my pokemon games, and me on my PS3 playing Dead Rising 2 (I just bought it, and I LOVE it!). We had to go to bed early because we both had to be up for work in the morning (Peter at 3am, and me at 7am).

By the time I got back to his house after work on Saturday, it was after 1pm and his dad was just finishing up installing a new stove. Peter's other stove worked fine, but this one was a newer, nicer one that his cousin gave to him. What threw me off was as soon as I walked in, I smelled gas. I figured it was just some extra gas that might have been in the pipe from the old stove. Peter opened a window to clear it out before we went to the store. We went out to go shopping, and upon coming back the smell was strong again. This became a back and forth issues all day. His dad came back and forth, replacing a hose....Peter ended up just turning off the gas to the stove until we were ready to cook dinner (veggie chili). I was a bit sore from the sex the other night, so he had to go really easy on me for sex that night.

Sunday ended up being a busy day. Out for breakfast followed by yet another visit from Peter's dad to try and fix the stove issue, the pet store, another visit from his dad, and then finally when we thought the stove was fixed we went to a baby shower for a friend of mine. The moment we walked back in the door, we smelled gas again. Windows open, gas turned back off..we were quite irritated. We decided to curl up in his room and relax. We talked for a bit, and nuzzled noses with each other. We started to get a little frisky after that. The craving for a nice beating started to boil back up to the surface like it did the week before. This time I made myself speak up. Peter said he would, but first he wanted to fuck me for a while first. God that man feels so good. When he stopped, he went to grab the paddle and had me bend over. He gave me quite a few good cracks. I kept squirming all over though he kept telling me to hold still. When I didn't, he'd swat me harder. To give my bottom a break, he had me hang my head off the end of the bed and suck on him while he paddled my cunt. I enjoy it when he smacks my cunt, but this was a different sensation. The hard plastic hitting my piercing which in turn hit my clit was pretty interesting. Dropping the paddle on the bed, he began to smack my tits, a sensation I never knew I would love as much as I do. A few moments later, Peter instructed me to roll over onto my knees and bend over by the edge of the bed. This is when he brought back the cane and gave me multiple whips with it. I'd squirm all over and the more I did, the faster and more forceful he'd flick his wrist, and the farther down my legs he would go. When he was ready to switch, he told me one more good one before grabbing the paddle again. You'd think after all the paddling and caning my ass would have been numb, but it wasn't. I felt the crack of the paddle once more....one after the other until he was pleased. Three more, he told me, then asked me to repeat that. After the first one, he asked how many more, and the same after the second. When he was done, he admired his work on my ass and legs before having me turn over to fuck once more. Peter brought his face to mine, kissed me and said when you can't sit tomorrow, think about the marks and how much I love you. So many times it felt like I was about to cum but it didn't seem to want to happen. Peter could tell and asked if I wanted to. When I said yes, he stopped to grab a towel to put under my bottom. When I came, it erupted all over the place including my tits. Peter moved to kneel by my head so I could suck on him while he continued to touch my clit. He made me cum until my squirting died down. He switched back and forth between my mouth and my cunt until he came, then made me lick him clean before allowing me to clean up. We pulled the towel up (which had been double up twice) and the bed was still pretty wet. I can't believe I squirted that much, but it's a pretty cool thing I think. I thanked Sir for the beating that I so desperately wanted (lots of use of the cane), and curled up with him. Peter told me why he stopped with the cane when he did. Apparently right before the last three cracks, the cane broke skin on my ass and I started to bleed a little. So that is twice in a weekend that we accidentally broke skin. Crazy, but it all felt so good! I could tell right away it was going to be difficult to sit down. We snuggled together and relaxed until I had to leave so he could get to bed.

Sunday night when I got home, my panties were irritating the fuck out of my ass. At work on Monday I couldn't move much without feeling the sting. It's now Tuesday, and I can still barely sit without feeling how sore I am. Please, don't think I'm complaining. I love this feeling. And like he told me, I feel it and know how much he loves me.

Honesty....is key.

Peter and I finally got around to using his birthday gift Saturday afternoon. My concern with this gift was that it was three wheels instead of just the one, and that it would hurt more (and not in a good way). But I was excited none the less. When he used it, he did go gentle at first which tickled. He went a bit harder, and it started to feel really good. I was so surprised at how much I enjoyed it since I was still just getting used to the single wheel, but it was great!

Sunday, it made yet another appearance during sex. He ran it across my back like normal, but more on my ass and legs which I was loving ever second of it. Peter then had me flip over on my back, and started to roll it across my shoulders, collar bone, and up my neck. That when I started to freak out. The good kind of freak out. It sent all these incredible waves all over my body. The sensation was.....I have no idea how to explain it. had he been doing that, fucking me, and playing with my clit at the same time, I was sure to come. I just think that would have been difficult since he was holding himself up with one hand, fucking me, and rolling the wheel up and down my neck. Had a pretty good orgasm shortly after he stopped, squirting all over. Luckily we had a towel down (though it still leaked through to the sheets). We went to a show a few hours later, and I had a short skirt and a tank top on. Had it not been dark in there, and if anyone were to actually look, people would have seen little red dots all up and down the back of my legs, and a lot more on my shoulder. Peter was really loving my outfit thought because he kept putting his hand up my skirt as the artists played on stage. You'd think he was just going for my ass. He did that, yes, but he went up the front of my skirt more, and would pat my cunt, or slip the tip of his finger under my panties for a second. Everyone was so close together and it was so dark that I doubt anyone noticed. Peter was convinced that people were looking, praying that my skirt would fly up or that I'd bend over. I really enjoy the fact that he finds me that sexy where he thinks other do too. Since being with him, my confidence level has gone up dramatically. Obviously a good thing! Had he not had to work the next morning at 3am (and we didn't get back until roughly 1:30am), we probably would have had sex from all the excitement, but he wanted to get a little bit of sleep.

Normally I go home on Sundays, but since it was so late I stayed. I've started to take my dog over to his house every time I come over, so she was still there on Monday. I went over to his place, and we had a taco night. Quite delicious! His first time having vegetarian tacos, and he really enjoyed them. After dinner, we sat around for a bit, letting our stomachs settle, before going to the bedroom to have sex. The sex was wonderful, as it usually is. He made me come so hard and squirt so much that after the first orgasm, he laughed and said he felt like he should be wearing his swimsuit for this. I giggled, and he pulled me down on the bed so I was laying in my mess (even though I was already covered in it since it shot off like a fountain all over my stomach and tits), and apparently he wasn't done. He started to fuck me again and a few seconds later, went back to rubbing my clit like a mad man. I came hard, again. And squirted a lot, again. He laughed, pulled me down again (by now, the wet spot was up to my head and all the way down to my ass), and fucked me until he came. He pulled out to come all over me. Made me lick up what got on him, then left to go clean himself up and get me a washcloth. By now, the wet parts of the mattress were so cold. I was shivering from that, plus the "sex legs" that I tend to get. I cleaned up, he took the sheets off the bed to throw them in the wash, and told me to use a towel to soak up the mess I made from the mattress.

As I knelt on the towel, and pushed into the mattress, we started to talk. I was debating if I should even post this in here or not because it's more about life and "my crazy", but I realize it makes good sense to discuss this. Who knows, someone out there might have the same issues, and see that they're not alone. Peter was asking if it was good for me, and I told him yes, although I really wanted a good beating and have for some time now, I just didn't want to bring it up. I was worried that it would be wrong of me because I wouldn't want him to think I was calling the shots and telling him what to do. This is when the conversation took a turn, and I got emotional. We had previously had a conversation about how he doesn't ever want me to be 100% submissive, and that he doesn't want a complete slave; he wants to have his girlfriend too. Which I have no problems with, and I told him this. Though there apparently was a bit of a misunderstanding on my end. I thought he just meant in life in general, not in the bedroom. Through tears, I explained this to him. I swear, if I were a superhero my superpower would be the power to cry uncontrollably when I get nervous or just a little bit anxious. I would be the lamest superhero ever. He explained that he meant for it to be all the time, and that I can speak up. If I want a good beating during sex, I need to tell him. Peter said if I don't speak up, eventually I would probably end up being frustrated from not being satisfied how I want to be and go somewhere else. I don't think I would because I love him for so much more than just how he pleases me sexually. Which lead to another problem that I somehow created in my head. I'm afraid to tell him that I want the beatings because I don't want him to think I only want rough sex all the time. I explained to him that all of this stuff is fairly new to me. I mean, I've dabbled here and there with some rough sex, but nothing this rough. So it's all new, and extremely exciting for me. So of course I'm going to crave it more, but I just don't want him to think that is all I want. He understood, and told me not to worry so much. He also brought up how maybe we should take the roles out of the equation until I can get used to asking for what I want, or at least come up with some sort of way for me to tell him. I was really reluctant at first to skip the roles because honestly, part of what gets me all hot and bothered is knowing that I am his. But I can still be his without the pressure. Of course, all of this "pressure" is my own damn fault. I expect too much of myself. I've been trying so hard to get out of my head. Peter thinks I shouldn't try so hard, and just let go. Easier said than done, I know. I'm seriously a work in progress. I finally finished soaking up what I could of my mess, he kissed me a bunch, and we went to snuggle and watch TV in the living room.

This week I'm actually quite busy with work. I'm not sure when I'll get to see Peter. Probably Friday. I will do my best to ask for what I want too. It is my plan. I can't say if I will want a fierce beating or not by this weekend, but I probably will. I still want one really bad right now, but we'll see.