Keeping quiet.

I've been super busy lately. It seems all I ever do these days is work, cook, and sleep. Oh, and run around. I can't recall the last time Peter and I had an entire weekend to ourselves, just to do nothing in particular. We've had something to do every weekend for I don't know how long. It'd be nice to get some time to spend just relaxing.

The constant working thing isn't too terrible. I've been getting some extra work here and there which is nice since our modest sized wedding is turning into a huge event. Luckily, we're doing everything way before we "need" to. We've had our hall since December, our DJ since January, and we got our cake and photographer booked back in April. We've been putting every extra cent we can into a special bank account just for the wedding, and then keep giving payments to everyone so our end balance is manageable. It's a lot of work, and we don't really have any money to spend on anything extra, but it will work out in the end. Especially now more than ever; my regular job is cutting my hours. Actually, they're doing it to all the part time people, so it's not just me. I'm going to lose about $200 a month, which pretty much only leaves me with just barely enough money to make my bills, and get gas. Nothing much left for the wedding fund. I'll probably have Mondays off now, so maybe I can get another part time job. I've been applying at other places for something full time, but nothing yet.

Peter and I do our best to regularly have sex. For a while, we were down to maybe once a week, part of it was due to my erratic period, but also his back (I'll get to that). I was dealing with bleeding and cramping for two weeks straight. My doctor switched my brand of birth control, and three months later.....I'm pretty sure it's finally back to normal.

We've played a bit here and there. Peter had been having severe back pain, and when he went to his doctor, they said he has degenerative disk disease. We've only had one long session in the last few months, but he had to stop when his back pain made it difficult for him to stand much longer. Most of our playing lately involves me getting spankings, him choking me, or I get slapped. Which a little of any of those can go a long way for me.

Yesterday, I came home from work early. It worked out because Peter was asked to take on some overtime this week (he was asked to come in at 2am, and leave at his normal 2pm time). So he was going to have to go to bed early. He was already pretty tired from work, but I wanted to make sure he would really get a good sleep in, so I was hoping for us to fuck before he went to bed. That got pushed a little sooner when we were watching TV, and he made me take off my shirt. I would have been fine, but he kept pinching my nipples, plus his erection was just staring at me. It was all very distracting. We moved to the bedroom, closed the windows, and got to it. Our neighbors were having a graduation party, and our bedroom is RIGHT next to their driveway, which was where they had all the table and chairs set up for their guests. Being quiet really isn't my strong point. Masturbating alone, sure. But when I'm not focusing on what I'm doing, I kind of just...let go. I had to use a pillow to silence my cries when he made me cum. Something switched in Peter after that moment. He held down one of my wrists with one hand, and squeezed my throat with the other. The tighter he squeezed both of his hands, the bigger his grin was, and the harder his cock felt. He ordered me to cum for him. With my free hand, I made that happen. Since it's been a minute, I didn't thank him right away and he smacked me a couple times, and pushed my head deep into the pillows until I said thank you. He held me down and fucked me harder until he came. I got smacked a few more times for not thanking him for his cum. All I could do when he pulled out was smile. Everything just felt so amazing. He's smacked me a few times in the last few months, but not this hard and it just drove me crazy. I loved every second of it.

Today, I have to work. I got up, showered, and when I went to go do my makeup, I noticed a mark on my face. The blood vessels have been broken, and it looks only a tiny bit bruised. Incredibly hot to me, but then I remembered work. It wouldn't be a big deal except I have to work a festival today. Hundreds of people. No one will probably notice, but my boss might, and he might say something. I did my very best to cover it up (two layers of liquid foundation, plus a dusting of this cover up powder). It's still slightly there, but maybe my boss won't notice.

I'm actually at work right now, but I don't have to go outside for a few more minutes. I came in early so I could work on a side project (off the clock, obviously). I should go pack up and head out though. I just wanted to give a small update.

Hope you all are doing well!

Hello, 2012!

A LOT has happened since my last update. Many doctors appointments, a mini vacation, proposal, some light play, and lots and lots of work.

Last update, I was having pain issues during sex. After many doctor appointments, a vaginal exam, two ultrasounds, and more doctors....they are chalking it up to cysts. The pain had gone by the time I went for the ultrasounds, and then those results came back clear. Then after talking with my mom, she said that lady part cysts actually ran in the family. So lucky me, I get to deal with those. That could explain why I have such painful periods. The last couple of months had me really worried though because I was having a period last anywhere from 8 to 14 days. One possible cause could be that I am probably anemic. The other could have been my brand of birth control. So I've been told to work on eating more iron rich foods, and my doc also switched my birth control brand. I really wanted the one that makes it so you have four periods a year, but apparently since I go through planned parenthood, the government won't pay for it (it's apparently very expensive), so I couldn't get it. Maybe when I get insurance I will. I had to go to my regular family doctor the week before Peter's birthday. I was REALLY sick, and hadn't been able to kick the cold I had, and have been having on and off for the last six months or more. She gave me a shot of some sort of antibiotic, then gave me a z-pack. The cold was gone before his birthday thankfully.

Speaking of his birthday....this year, we decided to take a little trip to Chicago. I had never been, and we wanted to do something fun and different for his birthday. We left really early Saturday morning to hop on the MegaBus (they day after his birthday), and arrived in Chicago around 11am. We ended up getting lost trying to find the right train to take us to our hotel. I ended up tripping and falling, scraping the hell out of my hands and knees. Once we found the train and were on our way to the hotel, I sat and picked cement bits out of my palms. Peter had seen broken glass where I fell, but luckily I didn't land on any. Once we got to the hotel, I cleaned my hands as best I could. My knees didn't look too bad (luckily I had jeans on), but with the force that I hit the ground with.....they were in so much pain. The hotel was nice enough to supply me with some big bandages for my hands before we left to have dinner with one of my friends who just moved there. After dinner, we wandered down to Navy Pier. I was hoping to see another dear friend, but we kept missing each others texts. Which turned out to be just fine because once we were down near the end of the pier, Peter dropped down to one knee and proposed! The girly-girl in me has been super excited ever since. We already have a ton of stuff done for the wedding, even though we aren't getting married until next June. We just wanted to have as much time as possible to save up.

I didn't get my clear bill of health until the end of January, so there really hasn't been any play since we didn't know if there was something wrong with me, and we didn't want to accidentally cause any more harm. Since then, we've had some light play action. No toys have been use. Mostly just him holding me down, smacking my tits, choking......enough play to give me a couple small bruises here and there, and some REALLY sore spots. I'm hoping to do more soon, though I feel I may need to retrain my pain threshold. It's been so long since we've had a nice, hard romp, I'm afraid I've grown weak. I am all for building my tolerance back up though!

Work has been keeping us both busy. Now that we are saving up for this big, extravagant wedding, we don't have much money to spend doing other stuff. Which actually isn't as bad as you think. We still have tons of fun together. We've been playing catch up with shows on the DVR. Now that our schedules aren't too crazy, we are actually able to cook and have dinner together again which has been really great. Sometimes I'll go to the gym after work so our time together before we go to bed is a little less (we go to bed around 9 now since Peter has to be up by 4am for work). And since I'm still waking up a lot during the night, but not nearly as much as before (over a year after my brothers death, and I'm still working on this whole dealing with it thing). I'm REALLY behind on my comics. I have a stack of probably 50 or more that I still have to read. I got really behind when I got super sick in October. And then with all the stuff going on, I didn't have much time to catch up. So I'm still playing catch up. I think I've finally read all of our comics that came out in December, so that's a relief, but I'm still wayyy behind.

This work week has flown by. Tomorrow I don't work, but I'll be working on wedding stuff until Peter gets home. I decided I didn't want real flowers at the wedding, so I'm making all of them by hand with fabric and buttons. It's a very long process, but it's pretty fun! I'll also be making some decorations for the shower and ceremony site, as well as our card box. I'm pretty excited! I can't wait to be married to Peter.

I just got over a small cold earlier this week, and Peter is getting over his cold. He wanted to have sex last night, but he had such a bad headache yesterday that didn't go away until really late that I didn't want to risk him getting it back. He's been feeling fine today, so maybe I'll get lucky tonight. ^_^

My plug is iridescent purple, what's yours?

Things have been very frustrating lately. The original treatment for the yeast infection I used didn't work all the way. I talked to a pharmacist, and she said that since I didn't stop taking my antibiotics until three days after the treatment that it would be wise for me to get a second treatment, and if that didn't help that I should see a doctor. So I made the plan to get a new treatment (a three day treatment box this time) on Wednesday when I went to Peter's after work. He had told me he had a surprise for me when I got there, so I was really excited. When I got there, we sat on his couch and he said we should go get me a plug. I asked if that was my surprise, but it wasn't. We went out, got my treatment, then stopped to get me a plug. He also picked up some new lubes to try, and I found a new clitoral stimulating vibrator (nothing fancy, just something simple to get the job done when I needed it). The plan was for us to come back, I was going to make dinner, then we were going to try out the plug (since anything vaginal was still not an option), and then I would get my surprise. Well, we were too excited and ended up trying out the plug first. I wanted to cleanse myself first, so I hopped in the tub and cleaned up before heading to the bedroom. Peter did his best to try and make me comfortable. Kissing my chest, down my stomach, my legs...nibbling here and there. Then he made it down to my ass and bit the cheeks a few times before using his tongue. I tried so hard to just relax and enjoy it, but I couldn't. He grabbed the lube and got me ready for his fingers. I had trouble even with that. I was so incredibly uncomfortable for some reason, and with me tensing up plus his nails....it felt like he was trying to tear me apart from the inside. He was very aware of how I was feeling, and kept asking if I wanted to stop. I didn't want him to, but I know if I did, he would have been completely fine with it. We decided to try with the plug. It was a long smoother than his fingers (no nails), but it hurt. And he went SLOW. Holding just the tip in for a few moments before sliding it back out, then in again...just a little further than before. At this point, I was on my knees with my head down onto a pillow. My ass up in the air in all it's glory. Peter was sitting behind me by the end of the bed, sliding the plug into me and stroking himself slowly. It was really turning him on, how much I was taking in, and he kept reassuring me and telling me how good I was doing. It was really starting to hurt right towards the end, but Peter kept encouraging me. Next thing I knew, it was in. He was so proud of me. He held the plug in place for a moment, then moved up to kiss my head, and allowed me to take his cock in my mouth. I only had the plug in for maybe five minutes before he took it out, re-lubed, and then gently pushed his way in. The plug hurt coming out, and him going in right after didn't feel much better. He told me to use my new toy, and I begged to cum (it had been nearly two weeks since I was allowed). But I couldn't do it. I was so distracted and so uncomfortable that it made me tense, and completely unable to relax and enjoy the moment. Everything was painful. He stopped. Went to go clean himself up, and brought me a rag to clean myself with. When I came back, he wanted to make sure I was alright, and just cuddled me under the covers for a while. I felt terrible, but I knew it just wasn't going to happen that night. I motioned to please him, and he said we could wait until I was ok again. We laid there for a few minutes, and I started to stroke him. Slow. Almost like a gentile, comforting rub like you would do to someone's shoulder or back when they were sad. That went on for a few minutes, and he was loving it. He eventually told me to suck his cock, so I moved down to do as I was told. He was clean at this point, don't worry, I made sure to ask him that before even touching. I approached this task with grace and elegance, which are not the type of things you would ever think to associate with sucking a mans cock, but that's the best way I can think to describe it. Saying it was sweet just doesn't seem to do it justice.When he came, at first it seemed normal, but the second burst hit the back of my throat with such a force that it gagged me, so I had to pull back. I really wasn't expecting that. I helped him clean up, and that was the end of that. I felt terrible that I was unable to continue with anal, but he understood.

Peter's job was making him work both Christmas Eve and Christmas day, so we had to try and work everything around that. I met him at his parents house at night on Christmas Eve after looking at lights with my family (a tradition of ours), then it was back to his house for sleep since he had to work early the next day. I went home to spend the morning with my family after he left, and then went back to his house after he got home from work to do our gift exchange and then go to his aunts for dinner. We both spoiled each other this year (I suppose that is common for your first Christmas together). No kinky items were exchanged, although I did get him a set of Cutco knives that I'm sure he could put to use on my skin at some point. After all was said and done, I was a bit more relaxed by the end of Christmas day. We decided to try again. This time, I requested for him to not use his mouth down there and instead just touch. He brought out the flogger and began to whip me with it. Not what I was expecting at all, but it seemed to really work. It was so familiar and comforting...plus I had been longing for something of the sort, so it just really chilled me out. Peter began to use his fingers, making sure I was well lubed up before he pushed his way in with his cock...no plug this time. I'm sure we could have used it and things would have been fine, but we were both just so excited. It hurt a little, but I was able to calm down and just take it. I can't remember if I've ever said this in here before or not, but I'm beginning to realize that I can enjoy anal much more when it is mean, and raunchy. It just seems like a dirty thing, and so it feels better when He says things to me that fit the situation, or holds my head down to the bed and pushes his way deep into my ass. Calling me His slut, and that sluts like me love to take it in the ass. I wouldn't say I love taking it in the ass, but in that moment...when he's telling me to take it like the slut I am...I can't help but get into it. I was able to cum that night. It felt like such a relief. I screamed so fucking loud, it felt really good. When we were done, we stayed in place for a moment. The second Peter pulled out, I was shocked with pain, and a great deal of it. It was as if he had fucked everything aside, and it was all trying to shift back into place at once, causing me to cry out in pain. Not a good kind of pain either. Peter imediately asked if I was alright, what happened, and what he could do. After a minute or two of not moving, I was completely fine. Everything seemed to be in order, so I got up and went to clean myself off. No blood, no nothing. I was right as rain. Well, my ass was a wee bit sore, but that is quite normal after getting rammed in the ass repeatedly, ha.

Tuesday while I was at work, I developed a horrible migraine headache that would not go away. I took the strongest pain medication I had on me left over from my dentist visit, and that didn't even touch it. Any sort of light felt like needles being shoved in my eyes, going deep into my brain. Peter asked if I wanted him to come get me since I couldn't even see straight and just felt horrible. Not even a full minute after he got here and I was telling him what he could grab, I ran to go throw up. It was terrible. He got a new trash bag plus an extra one for the road from one of my coworkers, then we headed out. I didn't even make it back to his house without throwing up again, plus a couple more times at his place. It was just terrible. He rubbed my back as I got sick, and made sure I had water by the bed and a cold rag for my head. He did all of this around 9pm when he had to be up for work by 1am. He is very good to me. I spent the next morning trying to get some work done on my laptop, and trying not to feel sick. After I got some work done, I laid down and took a nap. Didn't get up until right when Peter was about to get off work. So I jumped up and hopped in the shower. Had to turn the shower off twice and open up the window because I thought I was going to pass out. When Peter got home, I was on the bed, still naked from the shower, and just trying to catch my breath, head still spinning. It seemed all of my ailing was done with. I had checked with my finger the day before, and it appeared that my infection was gone. We were both horny as all getup (even though I was feeling like crap), so we decided to try to have sex. We also decided to try out the other new lube we had bought (one was water based, the second was silicon based....which is the one we decided to try). It went really well. When he slid in, it felt like he was re-stretching me to accommodate his size. It felt so good, and so right. I really missed having his cock deep inside my cunt. We both just kind of let ourselves go and enjoyed the feeling for a while, going slow to make sure it didn't worsen my headache or stomachache. Peter had made sure to apply the lube all over, including my clit, so it was ready to be rubbed. He massaged my clit over and over again until I came a few times. He pulled out at one point, and I think he was hoping I would squirt. I think due to my lack of hydration, it prevented me from being able to squirt. It felt good none the less, and he continued to fuck me after. When he came, we laid there for a few moments. Of course, once all my issues are done with why not start my period too? Things were a little messy, but not too bad, so clean up was quick.

Today, I am quite horny. I think having Peter inside my cunt for the first time in two and a half weeks really kicked that in high gear. I want it so bad again. Tomorrow is new years eve. He has to work, but then we're going to my friend's house for a little party. I am hoping to get a new dress for the party, but if not....something sexy from my trunk will be worn for sure. I do hope Peter and I have time to have a little fun first before we go to the party. I long for a good beating. I want it so fucking bad.....Not gonna lie, I kind of want to go to his house and be there when he gets home from work tonight (after midnight) and be waiting for him, but I know he has to be up for work at 7am, so that is a no-go.

I hope everyone had a great Christmas (or other holiday that you may have celebrated, or hell...even if you didn't celebrate and you just drank and masturbated all day). Best wishes for the new year!!!

I have a few questions to answer on Formspring today so check back for those after reading this. Feel free to ask me some questions yourself!

That's the spot.

This past week it was my special time of the month, so naturally my emotions were going haywire. Add that on top of all the stress I've been dealing with and you have a very easily triggered weepy Kai. Peter was very attentive, and helped me work through it all. At one point in the weekend I was just feeling physically gross. He held me while I cried and talked me down (as well as chuckled at how silly I was being, which....if you knew the dynamic of our relationship to a full, you would know that this was acceptable).

Work got in the way of everything this weekend. I had to work early Saturday morning, then again Saturday night, and once more Sunday afternoon. Now, this wouldn't be such a hassle if Peter or I lived anywhere near either of my jobs. But as it is, he is around 40 minutes away, and my house is roughly an hour away. Not ideal, but you know....that's how it goes for now. Basically....I did a lot of driving.

I was exhausted when I got back from work Saturday night. We relaxed and watched some TV before going to bed. My head was sore from the headache I fought so hard to get rid of all day, and Peter was dealing with one himself, so I figured it was just going to be a right to sleep kind of thing. I was a little horny, but I figured it could wait since we both weren't up to par. I was a bit mistaken. I was laying on my stomach all ready to sleep, eyes closed and everything, when Peter took off his pants and told me to suck his dick. I just chuckled and didn't move. Not really taking too kindly to my lack of obedience, he grabbed my hair and pulled my mouth down to his cock. I sucked on him for a long while, trying something new; breathing on his balls and legs. Ok, it's not really a "new" thing, I know that. I've just never done that before really. Earlier in the week, we were talking about strip clubs and he was telling me what they do for lap dances (I have never been to any sort of strip club, and he has). He mentioned how the strippers will breathe on a guy's crotch during a lap dance, and that it's really hot. So....I gave it a shot. Turned out to work pretty well because he shivered and made quite a few noises that got me going. When he was ready to fuck me, he had me bend over. I grabbed the lube and put a teeny-tiny drop on myself ("that time" seems to make me produce less of my own personal lubricant), and he slid in with ease. He fucked me for a nice long time. God, I love the way he feels inside me. He brought his hand up and put his thumb on my asshole. It sent shivers all over my body, and I told him if he wanted to do that he really had to lube it up and make me ready for it. Peter put some lube on his finger, rubbing my hole and sliding it in. He did his best to stretch it out which was a bit easier than normal because I was able to relax for this. The whole time he stretch my ass out, he was fucking my cunt and I was rubbing my clit. When he decided my ass was ready, he got a little more lube for it before sliding in. Let me tell you....it felt incredibly good. My cunt was dripping wet from all the fun (at first I thought it was from the lube I put on it, then I remembered I barely used any), so it was really hard to make myself cum. I had to keep wiping excess fluid on my thigh so I could actually get some friction going on. I begged Peter to be meaner (apparently anal sex equals "treat me like a fucking whore" in my book, haha), and he did. He continually called me a fucking slut, letting him fuck my ass and taking it like the whore I am. Fuck, I loved every second of it. Finally I came a couple times, and when he did he pulled out to cum all over my back.

The next day we had a little discussion about the sex. He was asking me how I liked it and everything, and I told him I really enjoyed myself, although I still get embarrassed about it. Ass play in general is a bit taboo in the vanilla world, and to be a girl and enjoy it? Well, that just makes you a slut or something. I mean, I've only allowed a couple of guys to do it, and each time it was not good for me. I'm still a little weird about His mouth being there and all. The first time I ever had that happen was back when I was super young, faking orgasms, and still thinking that was just how sex was ever going to be (so it wasn't completely enjoyable for me). Plus, it was a surprise. I totally thought that was something the guy really wanted so I pretended to enjoy it, but I was totally creeped out and turned off. Anal sex was just painful as all hell because the guys never did it right (I didn't know that then, but I do now). I'm not all that crazy about Peter tossing my salad, but put his fingers just around the area and I am game. Unless that's not what I'm in the mood for. But even then, I still will submit to his pleasure because I am His, and I am eager to please. I will say this....that session was probably the best anal sex session I have ever had. I wore a thong to work on Sunday, and the entire time I was there I was very aware of the fabric rubbing up against my asshole. Not gonna lie, I sort of enjoyed it.

I'm feeling kind of frisky tonight. Peter is about done with his shower, and then we're going to get some stuff to make dinner with. Hopefully we have a chance to have some fun before I have to go home. Last night when we had sex, He got to cum but said I had to wait until today. So I am very excited.