Hello, 2012!

A LOT has happened since my last update. Many doctors appointments, a mini vacation, proposal, some light play, and lots and lots of work.

Last update, I was having pain issues during sex. After many doctor appointments, a vaginal exam, two ultrasounds, and more doctors....they are chalking it up to cysts. The pain had gone by the time I went for the ultrasounds, and then those results came back clear. Then after talking with my mom, she said that lady part cysts actually ran in the family. So lucky me, I get to deal with those. That could explain why I have such painful periods. The last couple of months had me really worried though because I was having a period last anywhere from 8 to 14 days. One possible cause could be that I am probably anemic. The other could have been my brand of birth control. So I've been told to work on eating more iron rich foods, and my doc also switched my birth control brand. I really wanted the one that makes it so you have four periods a year, but apparently since I go through planned parenthood, the government won't pay for it (it's apparently very expensive), so I couldn't get it. Maybe when I get insurance I will. I had to go to my regular family doctor the week before Peter's birthday. I was REALLY sick, and hadn't been able to kick the cold I had, and have been having on and off for the last six months or more. She gave me a shot of some sort of antibiotic, then gave me a z-pack. The cold was gone before his birthday thankfully.

Speaking of his birthday....this year, we decided to take a little trip to Chicago. I had never been, and we wanted to do something fun and different for his birthday. We left really early Saturday morning to hop on the MegaBus (they day after his birthday), and arrived in Chicago around 11am. We ended up getting lost trying to find the right train to take us to our hotel. I ended up tripping and falling, scraping the hell out of my hands and knees. Once we found the train and were on our way to the hotel, I sat and picked cement bits out of my palms. Peter had seen broken glass where I fell, but luckily I didn't land on any. Once we got to the hotel, I cleaned my hands as best I could. My knees didn't look too bad (luckily I had jeans on), but with the force that I hit the ground with.....they were in so much pain. The hotel was nice enough to supply me with some big bandages for my hands before we left to have dinner with one of my friends who just moved there. After dinner, we wandered down to Navy Pier. I was hoping to see another dear friend, but we kept missing each others texts. Which turned out to be just fine because once we were down near the end of the pier, Peter dropped down to one knee and proposed! The girly-girl in me has been super excited ever since. We already have a ton of stuff done for the wedding, even though we aren't getting married until next June. We just wanted to have as much time as possible to save up.

I didn't get my clear bill of health until the end of January, so there really hasn't been any play since we didn't know if there was something wrong with me, and we didn't want to accidentally cause any more harm. Since then, we've had some light play action. No toys have been use. Mostly just him holding me down, smacking my tits, choking......enough play to give me a couple small bruises here and there, and some REALLY sore spots. I'm hoping to do more soon, though I feel I may need to retrain my pain threshold. It's been so long since we've had a nice, hard romp, I'm afraid I've grown weak. I am all for building my tolerance back up though!

Work has been keeping us both busy. Now that we are saving up for this big, extravagant wedding, we don't have much money to spend doing other stuff. Which actually isn't as bad as you think. We still have tons of fun together. We've been playing catch up with shows on the DVR. Now that our schedules aren't too crazy, we are actually able to cook and have dinner together again which has been really great. Sometimes I'll go to the gym after work so our time together before we go to bed is a little less (we go to bed around 9 now since Peter has to be up by 4am for work). And since I'm still waking up a lot during the night, but not nearly as much as before (over a year after my brothers death, and I'm still working on this whole dealing with it thing). I'm REALLY behind on my comics. I have a stack of probably 50 or more that I still have to read. I got really behind when I got super sick in October. And then with all the stuff going on, I didn't have much time to catch up. So I'm still playing catch up. I think I've finally read all of our comics that came out in December, so that's a relief, but I'm still wayyy behind.

This work week has flown by. Tomorrow I don't work, but I'll be working on wedding stuff until Peter gets home. I decided I didn't want real flowers at the wedding, so I'm making all of them by hand with fabric and buttons. It's a very long process, but it's pretty fun! I'll also be making some decorations for the shower and ceremony site, as well as our card box. I'm pretty excited! I can't wait to be married to Peter.

I just got over a small cold earlier this week, and Peter is getting over his cold. He wanted to have sex last night, but he had such a bad headache yesterday that didn't go away until really late that I didn't want to risk him getting it back. He's been feeling fine today, so maybe I'll get lucky tonight. ^_^

QOTD: When was the last time you had an orgasm and how?

Five days ago. Peter and I were having sex, and he was using his hands on me. It was pretty intense. He kept going back for more and more. I have no idea how many orgasms I had that night, but I was a bit sore the next day.

Kinky or vanilla...ask me anything!

Can't catch a break.

I have the weakest immune system it seems. Always have, even when I was a kid. Some of my friends have said "you think it's because you're a vegetarian?". Simple answer is no, because my immune system has always been shit. But when I think about it more, it probably doesn't help. The first couple years after I went vegetarian, there was no change. I still got sick as much as I used to, nothing different. It's only been the last two or three years that I've dealt with issue after issue. I was vegan for one most of that time, but right around the time I moved back in with my parents last year I went back to being just a vegetarian. There wasn't a whole lot of room in their fridge for my special vegan food. Plus, being a cheese lover, I did buy a lot of vegan cheese. Which is very expensive. The whole reason I moved back in with my parents was to save some money. Can't do that when I'm spending $10 on a pound of "cheese". Anyway.....my point is, I've dealt with more in the last nine months health-wise than I have my whole life. What with catching every cold I come in contact with, or the kidney infection, or tooth infections...And most recently, I've dealt with a horrible cold PLUS a really terrible pain. Where was the the pain? Oh, you know, somewhere in my girly parts. Peter couldn't fuck me without me being in pain. Two doctor appointments later, we're still not sure exactly what it is. They think it's either an ovarian cyst, or polyps. They want me to get an ultrasound to be sure. But since those are really expensive, and I'm pretty much broke, that's going to be really tough to accomplish. Luckily, I'm not in any pain anymore. My doctor said if it is a cyst, the hormones in my birth control should take care of it. I still have to make my appointment for the ultrasound (because the office I went to didn't have the machine, so they're sending me somewhere else). But I can't make my appointment until I have the cash because it is one of those places where you have to pay for your procedure the same day. Luckily, it's one of those low-cost places, but it's still something I can't afford right now. Peter suggested we do as much saving for it as we can, and make the appointment when we can. If the pain comes back before we get the money, then I'm not sure what we'll do. We'll figure something out I guess.

We've had sex three times since my last doctors appointment. And I've had no pain, so that's a really good thing. The pain came about a week and a half before I had my period, so I suppose I'll watch for that again this month. But for now, I'm going to enjoy my pain-free sex.

Ok, not entirely pain-free. Peter wanted to fuck this morning, and I was down for that since we didn't get a chance to yesterday. It was great how he brought it up, too. I had just put the kettle on for my oatmeal, and let the dogs outside. He had already been up for a couple hours, but let me sleep in. He told me "ok, so here's what I was thinking. After you eat, we go fuck, finish the touch-ups in the second bedroom, then go to the store. I'd say we go fuck now, but you just started your breakfast." So we did just that (we've been painting the second bedroom in the house for the last few days, just to clear that part up). When we got to the bedroom, he started to pull off my clothes. Once he had me naked, he played with my pussy before pushing me over the edge of the bed. My cunt was starting to get pretty wet, and he worked on it more before pushing his cock in me. We haven't fucked like that in a while, so the feeling was incredible. After a few minutes, he pulled out and went to the foot of the bed. He had brought out our suitcase full of toys a few weeks ago, but didn't get a chance to use anything since I started having pains. He searched for a few moments, then came back with the flogger. My favorite. He knows this. I think this is why he chose it for our first fun thing in a long time. The first few whips were relatively soft, but that didn't last long. I thought he was going to go easy on me, figuring since it had been so long I might not be able to handle anything too rough. I was wrong; he didn't hold back. After squirming and screaming for a few minutes, he told me to turn around and suck his cock. While I sucked on him, he continued to flog me. He's never flogged me while I sucked his cock before, and I must say it was fantastic. He was enjoying it, too. I can only imagine how the vibrations from my muffled cries felt on his cock. I tried to take him completely in, but of course I choked on his size. He took the opportunity to flip me around, and push me back onto the bed. Forcing his cock back inside my now soaking wet cunt, he fucked and flogged me. Telling me how good of a little slut I am. After awhile, my back went numb. The feeling became more comforting than painful, and I knew he still wasn't holding back. When I looked behind me, I saw how he wound up before bringing the flogger down on me. I knew it should probably hurt, but it didn't. Not really, anyway. He fucked me harder, and flogged me faster. He stopped flogging me only to make me cum with his hands, reaching down to rub my clit. I came with a force, pushing him out. He pushed back in, and continued to fuck me. Harder and harder. I felt him begin to swell inside of me. But I didn't get to feel him explode. He pulled out, and came all over my back and my ass. He demanded my manners, and I said "thank you". He went to grab a warm rag to clean me up with.

With being on all the antibiotics I've been on recently, he's done a lot of pulling out just to be safe. Which is fun if you like being covered in cum. Lucky for me, I actually enjoy it. The only thing I don't enjoy is when it gets in my belly button. I hate that. But I take it, just the same, because that's what I do. I'm his little cum slut. And I take it with pride.

After we were done though, we sat on the bed and just talked. Well, I talked. I looked over at him and noticed him not only staring at me, but he had this amazing smile on his face. I asked him, "what?", and he just said how he enjoyed watching me think. You don't realize it all the time, but sometimes when you live with someone....things just become a day to day thing. I think after the flogging, it sort of woke something up. Peter does a wonderful job of letting me know he loves and adores me, and how sexy he finds me. But it's been a while since he's looked at me that way. It was just really nice. 



I just started listening to some of the Erotic World podcasts, and they're quite entertaining. Lacy reads some erotica on it, and on the blog she links to the person's page who wrote it. Which leads you to reading even more erotica. I've read a lot tonight, and I have to say. I can't wait for Peter to get home tonight. Though I have a bad feeling he is going to have to work late. I really hope not. My cunt is aching for him again. And after how well I took that flogging today, I am ready for more. I'm craving it more than ever. 

Watching porn for fun.

I was never the kind of girl that really liked porn. I just didn't see the point in watching it. I would rather use my imagination to get off on my own. Then once I started dating, and becoming sexually active, porn became something different. It almost felt like the enemy. Boys I would date seemed to be more interested in porn than having sex with me. Which of course made me think there was something wrong with me. I have never really been a small girl, but I do try to take care of myself so I don't feel so gross. But even at my smallest (somewhere in the mid to low-130's), my partner and I rarely had sex, and he pleased himself instead. I eventually decided I was ok with a boyfriend jerking it to porn, as long as he could still keep up with my sex drive. With Peter, I am incredibly lucky. I'm sure he still pleases himself with porn, but I can't think of a time he has ever said no to sex every time I ask (except maybe when one of us wasn't feeling well). I have seen more porn since I've been with Peter than I have in my entire life. Mostly for the sake of educating myself on things, or to see certain tools in action. And actually, they aren't even full porns. Just little clips others post on their blogs and such. Or some of the tumblr pages I visit via the people I follow on Twitter, they post a lot of pictures. And I must say, some of them are very inspiring! Gives me a lot of good ideas to try someday with Peter if we ever get the chance (or tools).

The other night, Peter came home from work and said he had an idea for the night. He suggested that we search for a porn to watch together. I was ready for this, I had mentioned doing this with him at some point, but we never found a good time to do it. We usually would start having sex and at some point in the middle the idea would flash in my brain for a second, then be gone because really...by that point, there was no point for it. So we started looking. We found one on the kinky side, and began to download it, but decided to watch one of the ones he already had just to try it out. I can't remember the name of it or anything, but it was alright. The man in the scene was rather creepy, but I did my best to get past that. Ten minutes in or so, it wasn't doing anything for me. Peter was touching me, but I was distracted by the woman in the video. Her noises were incredibly forced, and starting to get on my nerves. I eventually had to ask Peter if she was the only woman on the entire disk because I couldn't take it anymore. He flipped forward a bit and found a different scene. I ended up not paying any attention to is since he started to have me suck his cock. By then, I really wasn't thinking about the video too much, just the light moans coming from Peter. He motioned for me to bend over so he could fuck me. I was having trouble reaching my peak the whole time. I had just gotten over some sort of stomach bug or something, and it was still in the process of feeling better. I was so afraid of something not so pleasant happening if I came, that it kind of just ruined the night for me in that regard. Which, Peter fixed for me last night when he allowed me to have several orgasms.

We plan to try it again. The more kinky one we found finished downloading yesterday, so that is in the future for us. We were supposed to play this past Saturday. But, of course, a few hours before he was to come home from work I became very ill with whatever stomach virus I had (and continued to have until Monday night). He has to work twelve hours on Saturday, so maybe I can talk him into some fun either tonight, or tomorrow before he goes to work. Or maybe not, since it seems every time I try to plan something it never works out that way. Which is why I really haven't been updating. There hasn't been a whole lot slave-related to talk about. I doubt anyone who reads this actually wants to hear me bitch about my days in general.

Hope you all are doing well! I will keep updating as much as I can! Please don't forget about me. <3

Update on life.

It's been a long time since I last updated. Nothing juicy enough has happened for me to write about, so I suppose I could just give you all a (hopefully)quick update on what has been going on.

I have been dealing with a lot as you may know. The death of my friend, as well as a few different health issues here and there (as well as Peter getting sick for several weeks in a row), so there hasn't been much time to play. And the few chances that we get, you all know about already. Peter and I ended up having a talk not too long ago. I was beginning to get frustrated with the lack of playing, and I decided to talk it out with him and ask him what was up. Honestly, I just wanted to know if he was not only interested in doing it anymore, but if he was interested in doing it with me. He was/is, he said it seemed like I started to want to play all of the time and that isn't the kind of relationship he wanted, so he practically stopped it all. He wants us to have a full passionate relationship, and for our kinky side to just be a section of it....not the whole thing. I agreed that lately I had been wanting it more than before, and I managed to narrow it down to two possible reasons: One, I've been going through a lot lately, and when I'm in that state of mind, I'm not thinking of anything else. This is true for vanilla sex as well, but I get so submerged in the head space that it takes me a little while after we are done to come back down to earth. Meaning I wouldn't feel the heartache for a little while longer. And then two, I still consider myself very new to this lifestyle so I am very eager to learn and do everything. I didn't want to stop until I was properly trained, and he had control over some aspects of me. At the time when we had this talk, I was currently taking antibiotics (for a tooth I was having work done on), therefore making my birth control ineffective, and almost immediately gave me a lovely yeast infection (I tried to get them to give me a different antibiotic that won't do that, but instead they just gave me a prescription for a yeast infection treatment). And of course by the time I was done taking my antibiotics, I was to start the placebo pills from my birth control. So basically I went two and a half weeks of not having my birth control work. So even though we were having this conversation, there was no way we could properly have fun and play.

I'm currently during my second week of birth control since all this crap, so it should be effective by now. And aside from sore knee joints and a head ache, I am ailment free. Which is excellent timing because this Saturday is our anniversary. I'm not sure what we're doing in the morning, but I do plan to give him his gift. We're having a late lunch somewhere downtown, then we will be going to a baseball game. I had told him when we were making plans that if we have a chance, I would really like to see some fireworks. Since our local baseball team does fireworks a lot after night time home games, he suggested that. I'm really excited for it!

Aside from that, things are just....going. A new company took over at Peter's job recently, and since there seems to be a lot of people working there now that have no clue what they're doing, it's taking some getting used to. For instance, Peter now works in the afternoon. Luckily my job is flexible, and my boss is allowing me to work afternoons as well so I will actually get to spend some time with Peter. All we can do is just hope that they put him back on the morning shift, I miss how we used to do things. Although waking up with him and being able to just relax in bed for a while in the morning has been really nice.

I suppose that is all for now. Like I said, there really hasn't been much to write about. The moment I have something though, I will post it! Hope everyone is doing well!

Intermission sex.

This past Sunday it was a lovely spring day, and there was a hockey game on. Peter and I sat down mid afternoon, after a nice morning at the museum, to watch the game. It wasn't going so well. When the first intermission came around, Peter pulled out his cock and told me to get to work. Right there on the couch, windows open. He told me to take my pants, panties, and bra off, but to leave my tank top on. He played with my tits as I knelt before him and sucked his cock. He got up and told me to lean over the couch so he could fuck me. The moment he slid inside of me, I lost my train of thought. Which means, I completely forgot about the windows being open (didn't remember until later when I felt a breeze on my ass). We have a very long couch, so we switched positions a lot to see where was a good place to fuck. One of my favorites was when he had me kneel on the couch and bend over the arm rest. When he was getting closer to cumming, he had me kneel on the floor. Sir told me to rub my pussy and suck his cock. I sucked and sucked until he was about to cum. He finished all over my face. His cum dripped down the frame of my glasses, down my cheeks. I licked my lips as his cum made its way to my lips. I was covered. He told me to cum for him before I could clean up. When I finally did, he wasn't done. Peter decided that he wanted to make me cum as well. I squirted all over the living room carpet. Once I finished, Peter grabbed me a towel to clean my face up. Once I had most of it wiped up, I went to the bathroom to get the towel damp and wash my face. By the time I was done, the game was already eight minutes or so into the second period. I suppose I could have been upset that I missed eight minutes, but.....I can't. I really enjoy the fun that Peter and I have together.

Tonight, we won't be able to have sex during the intermission since we're going to the game (and I'm not sure where we would be able to get away with having sex at in the arena). Our team is down in the series, and if they lose tonight, they are out of the playoffs. If they win, my god....I hope we have a little celebratory fuck when we get home.

That's all for now. Like I said, I wanted to try and update more, even if it's just a little here and there. Hopefully I'll have more soon. I keep waiting for things to calm down over here so we can actually sit down and work some sort of training out, but I swear once one thing starts to calm, something else gets crazy. We're just so....busy.

It's been too long...

It has been a long while since I've had a chance to update. I typically did 80% of my posting while I was at work. I had a lot of down time due to either lack of work, or just some spare time while projects were being transferred from one computer to the other or processed. Anyway.....I've actually been really swamped at work. My job responsibilities got switched around a bit, so I have a lot more work. Meaning...I have less time. Then when I got home, there wasn't much time. Peter has a much better work schedule now so I see him more, and we have more time to go out and do things. Not to mention it's playoff season in hockey, and I don't just enjoy watching my home team play....I watch as much of each series as I can. Believe me, I don't want to go this long again without updating or being online. I opened my email to over a thousand messages. Granted, they were practically all from subscriptions from FetLife, but still. Sifting through everything took a while. I ended up deciding to just not catch up on FetLife, there was just far too much for me to read.

So let's get on, shall we?

My birthday....well, it was terrible. Peter and I met some of my friends for sushi to celebrate. Unfortunately, I had developed a horrible migraine (the kind that makes you sick). So I never got to eat my sushi, and I had to cut the night short. I felt so bad since everyone took the time to come out. Peter had promised me my birthday spankings that night, but I got sick again almost as soon as we got home. Obviously, my spankings were not going to happen. That didn't happen for almost a week after my birthday. Sir made sure I got the spanking I deserved. He had me bend over, and tuck my arms between my legs. Sir then tied my arms to my legs, then admired my ass for a moment. He gave it a few swats with his hands before going back to the case with all of our toys and stuff in it. He pulled out my ball gag, and proceeded to fasten it to my head. Sir continued with his hand only briefly before grabbing the flogger. As I've said before, being flogged is probably my favorite thing. Back before I met Sir and had only done slightly more than vanilla things, I was a huge fan of being spanked. Now I know better. The flogging went on for quite a while, it is almost a comfortable feeling to be flogged. I can tell now that He works harder to use more force with the flogger, and it feels so good. He switched to the pinwheel (the single one), and ran that up and down my back in quick, long drags. I cried out a few times before he stopped. His next tool of choice is my least favorite of the toys; the wooden paddle. It's not just the sound of it hitting my skin that I don't enjoy...it's the feeling. It hurts, and not necessarily the good kind of hurt. But I take it, because I know He enjoys it. And it's not like it hurts enough for me to stop him. I know my limits, and I know that if it became too much I would let him know. I suppose I could say I partially enjoy the wooden paddle because I know He does. He liked it even more that night because I kept pulling away (the ropes were coming lose...he had put them on so fast, they weren't very secure), and when I did, He would pull me back and give my ass a more powerful smack. Then with one incredibly forceful swat, tears shot from my eyes from the pain. It was a very "I'm in charge" kind of spank. Which turned me on. If you're new to this blog, I know what you're thinking...that doesn't make sense. I take a punishment from a tool I don't particularly enjoy, then I cry from the pain, and all of this ends with me being even more turned on? Yeah. Kinda weird, but that's just how it works with me sometimes. He told me "one more good one, and then I'll stop", so I braced myself. This blow wasn't nearly as painful as the last, but it was still pretty powerful. Sir rubbed my ass when he was done, feeling the heat from my skin. He grabbed the other pinwheel and drug it across my skin. When he was pleased with that, he smacked my ass a few times with his hand before moving onto the bed and pushing himself inside of me. Running his hands across my ass and admiring his work while He fucked me, He seemed pleased. After a while, He pulled the ropes off and took my gag out before flipping me over onto my back. He moved over me, telling me I was being such a good girl and allowed me to cum while He fucked me. He held me down and the orgasm shook my entire body, my cunt tightened around his cock. He exploded inside of me with some force before collapsing on top of me.

A few days later, Master had His way with me again. No toys or rope this time. He only made me bend over the bed and used His hands. Sir took to only my left butt-cheek the entire time he smacked it. After we had finished having sex, he mentioned how a mark had already started to show. It was small, dark red, and only slightly visible since the rest of my ass was bright red from all the smacks. By the next day, the mark was as big as his hand and dark red. It's been about a week since I got the mark and a little bit of it is still visible.

Last night Peter came home from having dinner with a couple of his friends, and he was a little intoxicated. Just a slight buzz, but it was obvious and cute. He was all smiles and everything. Out of nowhere he blurted out "I want to cum in your mouth". I busted out laughing because it was so random, and he was so "pass me the remote" about it with his tone. Once I calmed down from laughing, we began to make out like teenagers and he took to biting my neck (he's been very bitey lately) before we took our little show to the bedroom. Sir told me to get on my knees and sucks his cock. I started off slow. Apparently he didn't want it slow because he grabbed hold of my head by my hair, and began to skull fuck me. Faster and deeper until I gagged on his cock. He told me to get to the bed so he could fuck my cunt. I was a little nervous because the night before, we fucked and I had a little bit of pain at first (but since I had no pain when we switched positions I figured it was just the angle he was fucking me at). I was right, it didn't hurt at all. My wet cunt welcomed his size and squeezed tightly around him. I didn't think this was going to be much of a dominance thing until he started fucking me with more force, and reached to pull me up so he could wrap his hands around my neck. He kept stopping to make me kneel before him and let him fuck my mouth some more. Each time he would tell me to bend over the bed again, he would push my torso onto the bed, effectively slamming my face against the piled up sheets. Sir reached down to my clit and rubbed until I came, squirting all over the carpet (which we just recently had cleaned....woops). I begged for his cum. He pulled on my shoulders again to bring me back up so he could grab hold of my neck once more. He slapped my face, called me his little slut, made me cum again, squirting once more before turning me over onto my back. He pulled out when he came, not soon enough to make it to my mouth. My stomach was covered though, and so was his hand. He had me lick his hand clean, and wiped some from my stomach and had me lick his hand clean once more before he went to get a rag so I could finish cleaning myself up.

Although Peter now has a normal work schedule, we still don't have a whole lot of time to play. Right now, we are so busy doing other things we weren't able to do when he was working all the time. Hopefully all that will settle down soon. That, or we try to just work in some play time during our busy lives. I know after the playoffs are over some time will be freed up. We actually have tickets to a playoff game here next week. Luckily our team made it to round two (they swept the Coyotes in the first round). Ok, now I'm going off topic. I should probably start making my lunch. There isn't a whole lot of work to do today, but I plan to eat at my desk and get caught up on the other blogs I follow and forums I read.

I promise I will try to update more. Even if it's just a little here or a little there. And don't forget, you can feel free to ask me questions on Formspring. Hope everyone is doing well!