You're my medicine.

I know my updates have been pretty scarce. I've been dealing with a lot of stuff lately and keeping my depression at bay has been extremely exhausting. I do have good days though, and when I do have them, I take full advantage of them.

Last week Peter and I wanted to do a little playing. Nothing too extreme since with how my head has been lately, we don't really know when I'm going to snap out of my "good day". He told me to bend over the bed, but would not let me lay my torso on it. I could only use my hand and arms to rest myself on the mattress. Sir spanked me with his bare hands for while, switching back and forth between cheeks. I took it like a champ, and barely cried out. He rewarded me with the flogger before fucking me.

Another night He told me to suck his cock. I sucked for a long while until my jaw started to do the closing thing (I have been sucking his cock a lot more lately, so naturally my jaw issues would come into play at some point). Sir had me lay on my back and hang my head over the edge of the bed so I could lick his balls while he looked at my naked body and touched himself. He ordered me to get myself off while I licked him. I swirled my tongue across his skin as I brought myself to orgasm. When he came, it was a lot...and all over my tits. He usually does have pretty intense orgasms when I play with his balls, so it wasn't too much of a surprise. I enjoyed being covered in him until he cleaned me up.

We've both been very busy the last couple of days. Last night I went to see the Scissor Sisters with Bella and Addy. It had been a couple of days since Peter and I last had sex, and I was incredibly horny all day. Once I figured out when I had to meet the girls at Addy's house, I told Peter we would have time to play around a bit. He was especially excited for this since he knew I was dressing up in a sexy little outfit for the concert. I sent him a little picture of the back of my leg where my mini skirt ended, and I was holding the cane against it (somehow he never got it....weird). When he got home, he was in a horrible mood. Work for him wasn't bad until the last half hour or so when some shit went down. After he calmed down, I figured we would snuggle so I took my boots off while he went to the bathroom. We laid down next to each other for a few moments and snuggle kissed, then he ran his hand up my leg, feeling up my fishnets and underneath my skirt. He asked what kind of panties I ended up going with. I showed him that I just did black boy shorts under the black lace boy short top that was part of the fishnets (something I had never seen before...they are very cute). He then told me to pull them down a bit so he could see my ass. He started to stroke himself as he looked at my bare ass under the skirt. Then He told me to kneel on the ground and suck his cock. I took him in my mouth with enthusiasm, swirling my tongue around his cock for a few minutes. That's when I decided to take him really deep down my throat. I sort of unhinged my jaw the wrong way, causing me to get a charlie-horse. Luckily I was successful at getting him down as far as I wanted to first before having to move my head back. He loved it, and had me bend over the bed. Still having my panties and fishnets not pulled all the way down, my legs were practically closed when he penetrated my cunt. It felt absolutely incredible. He kept pulling my skirt down over my ass so it just peeked out while he fucked me. He spanked me and called me his little slut, making me want it even more. I begged him to cane me, telling him I had been a really good girl all day. He fucked me harder for a few more thrusts before plunging deep into me and staying there for a few moments while I cried out. He went to grab the cane, lightly tapping my legs with it. A hard hit here, a few soft taps there, more hard....Sir gave most attention to my right leg (I assume because it's more sensitive these days than the left for some reason, and needs to be trained). I thanked him when he stopped, and he continued to fuck me. I had become so wet from the caning, he slid in and out easily. Sir wanted me to cum for him, so I reached to touch myself. Once I achieved an orgasm, I convulsed enough to push him out, but he didn't miss much of a beat and just went back to it. He ordered me to cum again (a second orgasm without having to ask? Hell yeah!). When I was done, I just continued to enjoy the feeling of him inside me. I could feel his cock swelling up inside me: he was going to cum soon. I asked for permission to touch his balls, and he allowed it. Then I begged for him to fill me. He came pretty hard; not enough where I felt it hit inside of me, but I could feel how much he grew just before exploding. I went to clean up, then came back to the bedroom. He checked my legs; the marks were pretty wonderful, and my ass had taken quite a beating from just his hand spanking it. I put my boots back on, and headed out the door to see my friends. The skirt I was wearing was short, but I think it still covered my marks up a little. Though if there were any short people  that happened to look my way, they may have seen them. It's not that I'm super tall or anything, but even at 5'6" I feel like an amazon. Add 3 and a half inch platforms to that, and I'm super tall (I really wish I wasn't so tall because I love wearing tall shoes, but I hate being naturally tall).

Ok, now I'm babbling. So tonight I took a couple pictures, not too many. Today hasn't been one of those "good days", so I wasn't really in the mood to do much. I put some in photoshop and did a little something to make a banner for the blog, but I'm not sure which one I should go with.

 This one, I did the rope work. I'm not good with rope work. I suppose I don't really need to be since I'm not the one tying someone up. So yeah....one of these days I'll see if Peter will tie me up and take some pictures of his work.

You can kinda see the marks Peter gave me (the dots on my bottom are from his hand, and all the other ones are from the cane). It was a light caning obviously.

My gag! We haven't really used it since we got it, but I love it. I would really like to use it, but we just haven't found a time to do it. Eventually. ^_^

Oh! And here are the two banners I've been messing with. Might add more to them, but I still gotta pick which one I want to use.

Might add some flourishes or something to them to fancy them up or something.

Tush is a little bruised.

I swear....if it's not one thing, it's another. I started to develop a cough at some point last week, and it only seemed to get worse. Determined to not get sick, I tried to ignore it and just use some cough drops. Peter and I attempted to do a little playing Wednesday night. He tied my wrists up and brought out the Wartenberg wheel. He ran it all up and down my back, ass, and legs. Leaving tiny dotted lines all over my skin. He got out the plastic paddle and started to give me a good spanking. I'm assuming a combination of not feeling great and my senses being heightened, as well as it had been a long time since I've been really paddled made the next thing happen. I cried out for him to stop, then I rolled over to my side. He kept telling me to roll over in a forceful voice, and for some reason, I just didn't want to. I apparently wasn't in the headspace I should have been in, and I just blanked. Finally I rolled over and he ran his hands across my bottom. Then he untied me, and we stopped. I didn't want him to really, but he could tell something was wrong. Why didn't I roll over when he asked? He told me he wasn't going to paddle me again right away and that I should have just trusted him. For some strange reason, I was unsure if he would paddle me again. There has never been a time where I felt like that before, and it didn't even seem right for me to feel like that. He had done nothing wrong....I just wasn't there. Apparently my body wasn't ready for all of that and it knew, but I didn't. I was so focused on getting some play time since we haven't played in so long that I didn't even consider the idea that I might not be able to get into the proper headspace at that moment because I was about to get very ill. We did eventually have sex that night, but it wasn't rough at all. Peter was very gentle, and everything felt incredible.

Thursday I ended up going to the doctor because it appeared I was getting sick (big surprise). Not the typical head cold. It was all in my chest, and I couldn't stop coughing. According to the doctor, I have bronchitis, pharyngitis, and an upper respiratory infection. She told me to keep taking the medicine I was taking (Robitussin DM, Claritin D, and Musinex D), and then gave me a prescription for an anti-biotic. Go big or go home, right? So annoying. I spent the next couple of days trying to feel better. By Saturday night I was feeling a bit better, just a little tired. I asked Peter again if we could play, but nothing too hard or crazy. Since I was still sick, plus it had been so long since I've had a good beating I figured a little light play would be a great way to get me back into the swing of things. We weren't able to have regular sex though because I was to see my gyno on Monday for my annual exam, and you're not supposed to have vaginal intercourse a couple days before that. So he started off by having me bend over on the bed, and he dragged the flogger up and down my back. The feel of the streams running up and down my back were so familiar and comforting. The first few whips were soft and gentle, like streamers on a bicycle brushing against your skin as they blow in the summer breeze. Peter began to flog me a little harder every few whips or so, then stopping again to caress my skin with the streams of the flogger. After a few moments, he had me turn around to suck his cock; my reward for doing such a good job of taking my flogging. Peter brought out the paddle and swatted one cheek at a time, caressing the reddened cheek with his hands between ever few. After several switches between cheeks, he would allow me to suck on him again, then it was back to my paddling. Harder and harder he hit, the right cheek seemed to be more sensitive than the left to the beating. Finally, he said "one more good one" before letting me take his cock into my mouth once more. He fucked my mouth for a few minutes as he told me how such a good girl I was, and allowed me to play with my pussy while my tongue danced around his cock. He told me to turn back around, and put my ass in the air for him. Sir rubbed my asshole with his finger tips, then switched to tease it with the tip of his cock before grabbing the lube to get me ready for him. Praising my devotion to please him, he pushed himself inside my ass slowly and gently. Once Sir was balls deep in my ass, he told me I was such a good girl. He allowed me to continue to rub my pussy while he fucked me. When I felt an orgasm coming on, I begged for him to allow it. He asked me a few questions like if I really wanted it, and how close I was....just tormenting me, and keeping me on the edge before he granted me permission. I came a couple times before he unloaded into me. It was a pretty interesting night, and my ass still doesn't feel right. I told him we may have to give my ass a break from sex for a while, and he is alright with that.

I am completely frustrated with his work right now. They made him work 4pm to 4am last Monday (but he didn't find this out until after he had started his shift that was supposed to only last until midnight), and then they promised he wouldn't have to do it again this Monday. They lied. He sent me a text to say he most likely will have to do it again. I know we can use the money, but I hate that they are wearing him down like this. It is most likely going to make his body less resistant to sickness from all the stress and lack of sleep, and he is probably going to catch what I have. We have had enough bad luck with crap just happening. Yes, I am very grateful that he even has a job in this economy, and I know I should just can it but...I just worry about his health. Physical and mental health.

One good thing about when I go home today: I get to open a package that came for me today. I had ordered shoes from Snaz57 over a week ago, and Peter said it got delivered. Nothing too fancy, just a cute pair of mary jane's and then a pair of calf boots. I already feel like an amazon as it is a 5'6", so I know I don't need 3 inch heels but.....I loved these soo much, I couldn't pass them up. Peter and I want to go to the Dirty Show this weekend, but those plans are still up in the air. If we do go, I may wear one of my new pairs of shoes out for it.

I suppose I can break off now. I have a few more things I want to get done before I leave work tonight, then it's off to dance around in my new shoes, and then curl up with the TV.

Dealing with loss.

I started writing this entry basically the day after my last entry because like I said, I wanted everything to be fresh, and with every detail I could muster up. Unfortunately, more sickness as well as tragic events shook things up....



Tuesday, January 25th when I got home, Peter was on the couch so I went to go relax with him. I kicked my legs up on his lap while we tried to figure out what to do for dinner. He started smacking my leg repeatedly. I tried to make him stop a couple times until I realized he wasn't doing it to be a dick....he was prepping my skin. It's been a while since I've had a good beating, so basically I've gone soft. I took it for a while, my skin was red hot, until he decided to give me a break. We went out, did dinner, then came back and started preparing fruit bowls for the week. By the time we finished that, it was late and he had to get up early for work (by early I mean 1am). He gave me a choice; either we could have fun that night but not to the full extent we were hoping (and risk him being exhausted for work), or we could have fun the next day and really go all out. I opted for the latter, but we still had sex. When we got to the bedroom, he pinched my nipples and forced me to my knees. I told him that I thought we weren't doing the whole shebang, and he simply said that that doesn't mean I can't be on my knees for him. I sucked on him for a while, then he told me to get myself ready for his cock. I lubed up while I continued to suck on him a few minutes longer, then he had me get on my knees on the bed. He fucked me for a while, and couldn't stop grabbing my ass and just staring at it. He hasn't fucked it in so long and I know he really wants to. Even if I hadn't known before we started to fuck, I would have because he kept circling my hole with his thumb as he fucked my cunt. Eventually he had me flip over so he could be on top of me. He told me he wanted me to cum for him, so I began to touch myself. It was in this moment when I realized just how much it turns me on to watch him watch me masturbate. I don't know if it's just that he was watching that, or the fact that he was watching me touch myself while he fucked me. Either way....it was hot, and I came so fucking hard. I started to play with his nipples when he moved back down closer to me, something I noticed a few nights ago that really does it for him. Flicking my tongue against them, sucking gently on them, pinching them...it drives him wild. I found a nice rhythm between what he liked while he fucked me. Listening to him moan, his cock swelling inside of me, the familiar rhythm of him moving in and out of me pushed me over the edge again. Peter loves it when I am actually able to cum without the use of hands or toys. I do too, especially because it rarely ever happens. It turned me on so much, I really started focusing on his nipples again, this time more with my mouth and sucking them. First sucking light, then harder, and back again. I could tell from how he moaned that he was getting closer. Finally he came, and I held onto his nipple until I started to feel him come down (which wasn't for 20 seconds or so). We were both exhausted and just laid there for a few moments while we tried to catch our breath before cleaning up. I sat with him in bed for a little bit after while we played games our own DS. Even though I was just sitting there, I was still trying to get my breathing back to normal. It was just really good sex with fantastic orgasms.

Wednesday night Peter had plans to tie me up and do lots of fantastic things to me. We went out to dinner to watch the hockey game, then came right home to get to it. Well, I wasn't feeling great after eating. Something didn't taste right in my food. So we just started to ease into things. I sucked Peter off on the couch for a while. He said it felt so good he didn't want me to stop, so I didn't until he came. He was going to "take care of me", but from how he said it....I thought he meant just get me off, and I didn't want just that. So I declined, and got ready for bed. I started to not feel too hot, so it ended up working out. Though he later explained that he meant he was going to flog me a bit, but  like I said....not feeling great.

Thursday I was rudely awoken at 5am by the urge to be sick. I spent about 75-80% of the day in the bathroom violently being sick. Once I felt like I wasn't going to be sick for at least 10 minutes, I called the restaurant to let them know what had happened. By Friday, I was better. I just felt really sore and still a little nauseated, so playing was still out of the question.

Saturday, January 29th in the early morning I received a call from my mother with some terrible news. One of my best friends (who was considered family) was killed in a car crash late Friday night. I have basically been wreck since, which would explain why I seemed to drop off the face of the earth for the last couple weeks. We've tried to have sex since then and it has been good, I've just been not really "all there".

Yesterday before going to a super bowl party, we had sex and it was really good. Randomly I asked him to use the candle wax. Now, I've never done this before, he has. So it was my first time getting hot candle wax dripped on me. At first it was a little intense and I wasn't sure if I liked it. Peter dripped it on my chest and stomach, then a little on my legs. He had me move to the edge of the bed so I could suck on his cock while he dripped the wax on me. Covering my tits with the wax as I screamed with his cock deep in my mouth...ahh, I'm sure it was quite a lovely sight for him. I know I sure started to enjoy it. When he moved to slide inside of me, I was super slick so he slid right in. He fucked me as he dripped more wax on me. Sometimes when he'd bring the candle up higher, it would splash against my skin and small drips would hit my neck, sending crazy sensations of slight pain all over. I asked him to drip some directly onto my nipples. I wanted to know what that felt like. I will say this right now....it is painful. A sexy kind of painful, but still....painful. They are still quite tender today.

I wanted to play when we got home, but neither of us was feeling up for it. I'd love to play tonight, but his work has decided to dick him around once more, so his new Monday work schedule is 4pm to midnight. Yes, he still has tomorrow off, but I don't so no playing tonight. If I want any sort of play action tomorrow, it will basically have to be right when I get home from work because he has to wake up on Wednesday at 1am for work.


I'm still trying to heal from all of the pain of my friends death, but I know it is going to take a lot of time. I keep trying to distract myself with things I enjoy doing, but every down moment I get I just feel....off.