The road so far...

Things have been heating up lately it seems between Peter and I. We haven't really done too much involving him giving me orders, or him giving me a beating me very much. Very safe stuff really. The most we have really done is some paddling, lots of smacking with his hands (face, ass, tits), the Wartenberg wheel, cane, rope to tie my hands up behind my back, and once I asked my Master if he would use the flogger on me. He has used two paddles on me; one wooden, the other plastic. I grew fond of the plastic one. Not just because of how it felt as it hit my skin, but I was smitten by the sound it made when it met my skin. It was far more intoxicating than the dull thud the wooden one made.

The first time I was flogged (which was actually this past weekend), I would have figured Master to use the beginners one he had in his dresser to start me off slow. He knows for the most part, I have only had an interest in the BDSM lifestyle, but have never really had a chance to do very much, and that he would have to go easy on me when trying new things at first. We had been fooling around and fucking for a while already when I asked him to flog me. He grabbed the bigger, heavier flogger, knowing my pain threshold would already be heightened from how aroused I was. He was right, of course. The thud it made on my skin was far different from the wooden paddle; it had multiple soft thuds as each strand struck my back. My favorite spot that it hit was my spine. It didn't hurt really, it was almost comforting. After a good three minutes of flogging, I fell to the side. He tossed the flogger next to me, and brought my ass up to his cock and continued to fuck me. At some point, I accidentally knocked the flogger down the side of the bed, and then he flipped me over, and pushed himself on top of me. Master is the type to kiss me during sex, if I deserve it. I tend to like to nibble on his bottom lip when he does this, and he enjoys it. Only this time, I bit too hard. I apparently also bit a little too hard on his chest. He smacked me across the face, grabbed my chin, and told me not to bite so hard. I accidentally did again. I thought I would be struck again, but I wasn't. Not until after he was done with me. I was about to get up, but he went over to the dresser and grabbed the paddle. He corrected me for biting too hard, then told me to pick up the flogger I dropped then go clean myself up. I did as I was told, then came back to the bedroom.

Yesterday while at work, my Master and I were texting. He was asking to see how I was doing (I hadn't been feeling good earlier in the day). He was scheduled to work that night at 9pm, so he was trying to nap during the day. He said that he couldn't nap though, because every time he started to doze off, all he could think about was fucking me, and he would get all worked up. I asked him how he was fucking me when he thought about it. Master said he was thinking about having my hands tied and bound to his headboard, and my legs spread apart with his spreader bar. Before I had a chance to tell him how exciting he was making me, he ordered me to come over when I got out of work. I did as I was told. I actually drove as fast as I could so I could get there faster. When I got there, he was feeding his dog, then we started to make out like we do, and he pushed towards his bedroom. I ordered me to take my clothes off, and get on my knees. As my Master sat on the edge of his bed, cock in hand, I got on my knees and took him inside my mouth. One hand on the bed, the other on the side of my head, Master helped keep his cock in my mouth. Once he had had enough of my mouth, he pushed me back to see if my pussy was ready for him. With him giving me orders the way he does, of course I was ready for him, so he told me to get on my back on the bed. Master doesn't ease into me much these days, he forces his way in. It hurts sometimes, but I take it like a good slave should. Some days his size is more of a surprise and stretch for my cunt than others, but I always get used to it, and love every second he is inside.

Later we went for a walk, and discussed some additional slave things. If you didn't know this already, when you get into this sort of relationship, communication is key (and it's not just something you consider having....it is SERIOUSLY key). We talked about things I would do, and would never do as a slave. He reads this blog that is written by a slave (lovesexkink). She talks about day to day tasks she is required to do by her master and such, and then he started reading other sites and suggestions and stuff. He didn't get to read too much, but he brought up some very interesting stuff. We had joked before about him making me do something in public. The sort of thing that no one would really know we were playing, but we would know, and that sort of thing is extremely hot to me. Then he told me that once we get my collar, he said something about making me wear it all the time (except when I couldn't get away with it). Even wearing it to bed (wrapped around my ankle or something because on my neck, it could possibly get caught and choke me in the middle of the night). To a lot of people, this sort of dominance is not a turn on, it's disrespectful. I don't see it that way. Not because I am blinded by anything, but....I actually find this sort of thing to be a HUGE turn on. We talked about things I would absolutely NOT do in public. I couldn't really think of much, and he couldn't think of any examples (because he didn't get a chance to finish reading, but he plans to). I told him public humiliation is not something I would ever do. And also....there is a fine line between him playing master, and him being a chauvinistic dick for me. I explained to him that if he were to ever seriously order me to go in the kitchen and make him a sandwich, I would be pissed the fuck off. BUT....if, of my own accord, asked him if he was hungry and wanted me to make him a sandwich, that was ok. He understood the difference, so that was made clear. We talked a bit more, and that's when I started to feel the blisters forming on my feet. So we started to go back to his house. It was time for him to start getting ready for work anyway.

No toys were used, but I do have four new marks today. He likes to bite my legs, especially my calves. So, naturally, that's where two of them are. One is on my left calf (from him biting it). That one isn't very dark. The one on my left outer thigh is huge, dark, and beautiful (another from him biting). It is one of my favorites that he has ever given to me. Easily in the top 10. The other two are more hickey-like (one small one on my neck, the other larger and on my tit). Oddly enough, I'm not really a fan of hickeys. I find them trashy, and not sexy at all. Now the bruises that Master gives me, I find those incredibly sexy. Every time I hit one and get a twinge, I get turned on when I remember how I got it.

This morning around 10am, he sent me a text saying he was super horny again. I fussed about how I wish I wasn't at work, and he agreed. Saying he'd mess me up. Later I asked him what the blog was he had been reading. I had found one (slaveduties), and the sort of things she posts on her blog make me feel like a fraud of a slave. She is the sort of extreme case of a 24/7 slave. The kind that is fucked by her masters friends, and afterward be left on the floor, covered in cum, and unable to clean herself up without her masters blessings (even if that means over night). I joined the forums that she has on her site, hoping I might be able to find someone on there to talk to. After reading five or six of her entries, I was starting to think what Peter and I do isn't BDSM, but something completely different and "vanilla". At this point, I started to fear that if I didn't want to do the sort of extremes that she does, he might not be pleased, and wouldn't want to keep me as his slave. I thought I might not be enough for him. Panic started to flow in, so I told him my fear. Then he got back to me with the link to the one he had read (lovesexkink), and told me that he honestly didn't want to go too far or crazy with me, and that he was sure what we decide will suffice, and I would be a good little slave. After reading the entire first page of her entries, I calmed down. The lifestyle she and her master live is quite similar to mine and Peters. It was quite a relief. A couple hours later (still going between both blogs because even the extreme one had some really interesting things I would consider), I texted him to say I couldn't wait to see him. That I was so riled up, and I longed for him to demand sex from me, and give me a good beating. His response? "You are going to get a good beating on Friday dear. As for tomorrow, I'm going to want your cunt ASAP." I asked him what he wanted me to bring to wear on Friday. I already had a good idea what he would say, but I needed him to tell me; my new corset and shoes. A few hours later (well after getting home from work), I couldn't believe how hard up I still was, and how hard it was to fight taking care of myself. Master said if I did, I would get no beating on Friday. This is seriously a very difficult thing to do. Especially while trying to relive all of these things to write about them, it's making it more difficult. I know how my body works though. If I do take care of business, there is a SLIGHT chance I could be sore from it tomorrow. And if Master allows me to get off tomorrow, and I am too sore to cum, he will know I touched myself tonight, and I will be in for it. It's one thing to get a correction beating, it's another thing to be beaten for the love of it. I'm learning this.

I am by NO means an expert. Master and I are still learning a lot about each other. We still have a lot of things we want to try. I can't wait to try them all, but at the same time...easing into it all is the smart, and safe thing to do. Master and I will probably be going to one of the local fetish stores this weekend, and I hope to try out one of the electro play wands. I really want to see what it feels like before we invest the money into a good kit. But seriously, first........I need to get him to use that damn spreader bar on me! We keep talking about it, but it never comes out! I seriously want him to spread my legs with it, and tie my wrists to the bar, or to his headboard. Ahh....my desires......he will fulfill them when he deems me worthy I suppose.

I should go to bed before I get myself into trouble...


Play safe,
Kai