Keeping quiet.

I've been super busy lately. It seems all I ever do these days is work, cook, and sleep. Oh, and run around. I can't recall the last time Peter and I had an entire weekend to ourselves, just to do nothing in particular. We've had something to do every weekend for I don't know how long. It'd be nice to get some time to spend just relaxing.

The constant working thing isn't too terrible. I've been getting some extra work here and there which is nice since our modest sized wedding is turning into a huge event. Luckily, we're doing everything way before we "need" to. We've had our hall since December, our DJ since January, and we got our cake and photographer booked back in April. We've been putting every extra cent we can into a special bank account just for the wedding, and then keep giving payments to everyone so our end balance is manageable. It's a lot of work, and we don't really have any money to spend on anything extra, but it will work out in the end. Especially now more than ever; my regular job is cutting my hours. Actually, they're doing it to all the part time people, so it's not just me. I'm going to lose about $200 a month, which pretty much only leaves me with just barely enough money to make my bills, and get gas. Nothing much left for the wedding fund. I'll probably have Mondays off now, so maybe I can get another part time job. I've been applying at other places for something full time, but nothing yet.

Peter and I do our best to regularly have sex. For a while, we were down to maybe once a week, part of it was due to my erratic period, but also his back (I'll get to that). I was dealing with bleeding and cramping for two weeks straight. My doctor switched my brand of birth control, and three months later.....I'm pretty sure it's finally back to normal.

We've played a bit here and there. Peter had been having severe back pain, and when he went to his doctor, they said he has degenerative disk disease. We've only had one long session in the last few months, but he had to stop when his back pain made it difficult for him to stand much longer. Most of our playing lately involves me getting spankings, him choking me, or I get slapped. Which a little of any of those can go a long way for me.

Yesterday, I came home from work early. It worked out because Peter was asked to take on some overtime this week (he was asked to come in at 2am, and leave at his normal 2pm time). So he was going to have to go to bed early. He was already pretty tired from work, but I wanted to make sure he would really get a good sleep in, so I was hoping for us to fuck before he went to bed. That got pushed a little sooner when we were watching TV, and he made me take off my shirt. I would have been fine, but he kept pinching my nipples, plus his erection was just staring at me. It was all very distracting. We moved to the bedroom, closed the windows, and got to it. Our neighbors were having a graduation party, and our bedroom is RIGHT next to their driveway, which was where they had all the table and chairs set up for their guests. Being quiet really isn't my strong point. Masturbating alone, sure. But when I'm not focusing on what I'm doing, I kind of just...let go. I had to use a pillow to silence my cries when he made me cum. Something switched in Peter after that moment. He held down one of my wrists with one hand, and squeezed my throat with the other. The tighter he squeezed both of his hands, the bigger his grin was, and the harder his cock felt. He ordered me to cum for him. With my free hand, I made that happen. Since it's been a minute, I didn't thank him right away and he smacked me a couple times, and pushed my head deep into the pillows until I said thank you. He held me down and fucked me harder until he came. I got smacked a few more times for not thanking him for his cum. All I could do when he pulled out was smile. Everything just felt so amazing. He's smacked me a few times in the last few months, but not this hard and it just drove me crazy. I loved every second of it.

Today, I have to work. I got up, showered, and when I went to go do my makeup, I noticed a mark on my face. The blood vessels have been broken, and it looks only a tiny bit bruised. Incredibly hot to me, but then I remembered work. It wouldn't be a big deal except I have to work a festival today. Hundreds of people. No one will probably notice, but my boss might, and he might say something. I did my very best to cover it up (two layers of liquid foundation, plus a dusting of this cover up powder). It's still slightly there, but maybe my boss won't notice.

I'm actually at work right now, but I don't have to go outside for a few more minutes. I came in early so I could work on a side project (off the clock, obviously). I should go pack up and head out though. I just wanted to give a small update.

Hope you all are doing well!

Hello, 2012!

A LOT has happened since my last update. Many doctors appointments, a mini vacation, proposal, some light play, and lots and lots of work.

Last update, I was having pain issues during sex. After many doctor appointments, a vaginal exam, two ultrasounds, and more doctors....they are chalking it up to cysts. The pain had gone by the time I went for the ultrasounds, and then those results came back clear. Then after talking with my mom, she said that lady part cysts actually ran in the family. So lucky me, I get to deal with those. That could explain why I have such painful periods. The last couple of months had me really worried though because I was having a period last anywhere from 8 to 14 days. One possible cause could be that I am probably anemic. The other could have been my brand of birth control. So I've been told to work on eating more iron rich foods, and my doc also switched my birth control brand. I really wanted the one that makes it so you have four periods a year, but apparently since I go through planned parenthood, the government won't pay for it (it's apparently very expensive), so I couldn't get it. Maybe when I get insurance I will. I had to go to my regular family doctor the week before Peter's birthday. I was REALLY sick, and hadn't been able to kick the cold I had, and have been having on and off for the last six months or more. She gave me a shot of some sort of antibiotic, then gave me a z-pack. The cold was gone before his birthday thankfully.

Speaking of his birthday....this year, we decided to take a little trip to Chicago. I had never been, and we wanted to do something fun and different for his birthday. We left really early Saturday morning to hop on the MegaBus (they day after his birthday), and arrived in Chicago around 11am. We ended up getting lost trying to find the right train to take us to our hotel. I ended up tripping and falling, scraping the hell out of my hands and knees. Once we found the train and were on our way to the hotel, I sat and picked cement bits out of my palms. Peter had seen broken glass where I fell, but luckily I didn't land on any. Once we got to the hotel, I cleaned my hands as best I could. My knees didn't look too bad (luckily I had jeans on), but with the force that I hit the ground with.....they were in so much pain. The hotel was nice enough to supply me with some big bandages for my hands before we left to have dinner with one of my friends who just moved there. After dinner, we wandered down to Navy Pier. I was hoping to see another dear friend, but we kept missing each others texts. Which turned out to be just fine because once we were down near the end of the pier, Peter dropped down to one knee and proposed! The girly-girl in me has been super excited ever since. We already have a ton of stuff done for the wedding, even though we aren't getting married until next June. We just wanted to have as much time as possible to save up.

I didn't get my clear bill of health until the end of January, so there really hasn't been any play since we didn't know if there was something wrong with me, and we didn't want to accidentally cause any more harm. Since then, we've had some light play action. No toys have been use. Mostly just him holding me down, smacking my tits, choking......enough play to give me a couple small bruises here and there, and some REALLY sore spots. I'm hoping to do more soon, though I feel I may need to retrain my pain threshold. It's been so long since we've had a nice, hard romp, I'm afraid I've grown weak. I am all for building my tolerance back up though!

Work has been keeping us both busy. Now that we are saving up for this big, extravagant wedding, we don't have much money to spend doing other stuff. Which actually isn't as bad as you think. We still have tons of fun together. We've been playing catch up with shows on the DVR. Now that our schedules aren't too crazy, we are actually able to cook and have dinner together again which has been really great. Sometimes I'll go to the gym after work so our time together before we go to bed is a little less (we go to bed around 9 now since Peter has to be up by 4am for work). And since I'm still waking up a lot during the night, but not nearly as much as before (over a year after my brothers death, and I'm still working on this whole dealing with it thing). I'm REALLY behind on my comics. I have a stack of probably 50 or more that I still have to read. I got really behind when I got super sick in October. And then with all the stuff going on, I didn't have much time to catch up. So I'm still playing catch up. I think I've finally read all of our comics that came out in December, so that's a relief, but I'm still wayyy behind.

This work week has flown by. Tomorrow I don't work, but I'll be working on wedding stuff until Peter gets home. I decided I didn't want real flowers at the wedding, so I'm making all of them by hand with fabric and buttons. It's a very long process, but it's pretty fun! I'll also be making some decorations for the shower and ceremony site, as well as our card box. I'm pretty excited! I can't wait to be married to Peter.

I just got over a small cold earlier this week, and Peter is getting over his cold. He wanted to have sex last night, but he had such a bad headache yesterday that didn't go away until really late that I didn't want to risk him getting it back. He's been feeling fine today, so maybe I'll get lucky tonight. ^_^

QOTD: When was the last time you had an orgasm and how?

Five days ago. Peter and I were having sex, and he was using his hands on me. It was pretty intense. He kept going back for more and more. I have no idea how many orgasms I had that night, but I was a bit sore the next day.

Kinky or vanilla...ask me anything!

Can't catch a break.

I have the weakest immune system it seems. Always have, even when I was a kid. Some of my friends have said "you think it's because you're a vegetarian?". Simple answer is no, because my immune system has always been shit. But when I think about it more, it probably doesn't help. The first couple years after I went vegetarian, there was no change. I still got sick as much as I used to, nothing different. It's only been the last two or three years that I've dealt with issue after issue. I was vegan for one most of that time, but right around the time I moved back in with my parents last year I went back to being just a vegetarian. There wasn't a whole lot of room in their fridge for my special vegan food. Plus, being a cheese lover, I did buy a lot of vegan cheese. Which is very expensive. The whole reason I moved back in with my parents was to save some money. Can't do that when I'm spending $10 on a pound of "cheese". Anyway.....my point is, I've dealt with more in the last nine months health-wise than I have my whole life. What with catching every cold I come in contact with, or the kidney infection, or tooth infections...And most recently, I've dealt with a horrible cold PLUS a really terrible pain. Where was the the pain? Oh, you know, somewhere in my girly parts. Peter couldn't fuck me without me being in pain. Two doctor appointments later, we're still not sure exactly what it is. They think it's either an ovarian cyst, or polyps. They want me to get an ultrasound to be sure. But since those are really expensive, and I'm pretty much broke, that's going to be really tough to accomplish. Luckily, I'm not in any pain anymore. My doctor said if it is a cyst, the hormones in my birth control should take care of it. I still have to make my appointment for the ultrasound (because the office I went to didn't have the machine, so they're sending me somewhere else). But I can't make my appointment until I have the cash because it is one of those places where you have to pay for your procedure the same day. Luckily, it's one of those low-cost places, but it's still something I can't afford right now. Peter suggested we do as much saving for it as we can, and make the appointment when we can. If the pain comes back before we get the money, then I'm not sure what we'll do. We'll figure something out I guess.

We've had sex three times since my last doctors appointment. And I've had no pain, so that's a really good thing. The pain came about a week and a half before I had my period, so I suppose I'll watch for that again this month. But for now, I'm going to enjoy my pain-free sex.

Ok, not entirely pain-free. Peter wanted to fuck this morning, and I was down for that since we didn't get a chance to yesterday. It was great how he brought it up, too. I had just put the kettle on for my oatmeal, and let the dogs outside. He had already been up for a couple hours, but let me sleep in. He told me "ok, so here's what I was thinking. After you eat, we go fuck, finish the touch-ups in the second bedroom, then go to the store. I'd say we go fuck now, but you just started your breakfast." So we did just that (we've been painting the second bedroom in the house for the last few days, just to clear that part up). When we got to the bedroom, he started to pull off my clothes. Once he had me naked, he played with my pussy before pushing me over the edge of the bed. My cunt was starting to get pretty wet, and he worked on it more before pushing his cock in me. We haven't fucked like that in a while, so the feeling was incredible. After a few minutes, he pulled out and went to the foot of the bed. He had brought out our suitcase full of toys a few weeks ago, but didn't get a chance to use anything since I started having pains. He searched for a few moments, then came back with the flogger. My favorite. He knows this. I think this is why he chose it for our first fun thing in a long time. The first few whips were relatively soft, but that didn't last long. I thought he was going to go easy on me, figuring since it had been so long I might not be able to handle anything too rough. I was wrong; he didn't hold back. After squirming and screaming for a few minutes, he told me to turn around and suck his cock. While I sucked on him, he continued to flog me. He's never flogged me while I sucked his cock before, and I must say it was fantastic. He was enjoying it, too. I can only imagine how the vibrations from my muffled cries felt on his cock. I tried to take him completely in, but of course I choked on his size. He took the opportunity to flip me around, and push me back onto the bed. Forcing his cock back inside my now soaking wet cunt, he fucked and flogged me. Telling me how good of a little slut I am. After awhile, my back went numb. The feeling became more comforting than painful, and I knew he still wasn't holding back. When I looked behind me, I saw how he wound up before bringing the flogger down on me. I knew it should probably hurt, but it didn't. Not really, anyway. He fucked me harder, and flogged me faster. He stopped flogging me only to make me cum with his hands, reaching down to rub my clit. I came with a force, pushing him out. He pushed back in, and continued to fuck me. Harder and harder. I felt him begin to swell inside of me. But I didn't get to feel him explode. He pulled out, and came all over my back and my ass. He demanded my manners, and I said "thank you". He went to grab a warm rag to clean me up with.

With being on all the antibiotics I've been on recently, he's done a lot of pulling out just to be safe. Which is fun if you like being covered in cum. Lucky for me, I actually enjoy it. The only thing I don't enjoy is when it gets in my belly button. I hate that. But I take it, just the same, because that's what I do. I'm his little cum slut. And I take it with pride.

After we were done though, we sat on the bed and just talked. Well, I talked. I looked over at him and noticed him not only staring at me, but he had this amazing smile on his face. I asked him, "what?", and he just said how he enjoyed watching me think. You don't realize it all the time, but sometimes when you live with someone....things just become a day to day thing. I think after the flogging, it sort of woke something up. Peter does a wonderful job of letting me know he loves and adores me, and how sexy he finds me. But it's been a while since he's looked at me that way. It was just really nice. 



I just started listening to some of the Erotic World podcasts, and they're quite entertaining. Lacy reads some erotica on it, and on the blog she links to the person's page who wrote it. Which leads you to reading even more erotica. I've read a lot tonight, and I have to say. I can't wait for Peter to get home tonight. Though I have a bad feeling he is going to have to work late. I really hope not. My cunt is aching for him again. And after how well I took that flogging today, I am ready for more. I'm craving it more than ever. 

Watching porn for fun.

I was never the kind of girl that really liked porn. I just didn't see the point in watching it. I would rather use my imagination to get off on my own. Then once I started dating, and becoming sexually active, porn became something different. It almost felt like the enemy. Boys I would date seemed to be more interested in porn than having sex with me. Which of course made me think there was something wrong with me. I have never really been a small girl, but I do try to take care of myself so I don't feel so gross. But even at my smallest (somewhere in the mid to low-130's), my partner and I rarely had sex, and he pleased himself instead. I eventually decided I was ok with a boyfriend jerking it to porn, as long as he could still keep up with my sex drive. With Peter, I am incredibly lucky. I'm sure he still pleases himself with porn, but I can't think of a time he has ever said no to sex every time I ask (except maybe when one of us wasn't feeling well). I have seen more porn since I've been with Peter than I have in my entire life. Mostly for the sake of educating myself on things, or to see certain tools in action. And actually, they aren't even full porns. Just little clips others post on their blogs and such. Or some of the tumblr pages I visit via the people I follow on Twitter, they post a lot of pictures. And I must say, some of them are very inspiring! Gives me a lot of good ideas to try someday with Peter if we ever get the chance (or tools).

The other night, Peter came home from work and said he had an idea for the night. He suggested that we search for a porn to watch together. I was ready for this, I had mentioned doing this with him at some point, but we never found a good time to do it. We usually would start having sex and at some point in the middle the idea would flash in my brain for a second, then be gone because really...by that point, there was no point for it. So we started looking. We found one on the kinky side, and began to download it, but decided to watch one of the ones he already had just to try it out. I can't remember the name of it or anything, but it was alright. The man in the scene was rather creepy, but I did my best to get past that. Ten minutes in or so, it wasn't doing anything for me. Peter was touching me, but I was distracted by the woman in the video. Her noises were incredibly forced, and starting to get on my nerves. I eventually had to ask Peter if she was the only woman on the entire disk because I couldn't take it anymore. He flipped forward a bit and found a different scene. I ended up not paying any attention to is since he started to have me suck his cock. By then, I really wasn't thinking about the video too much, just the light moans coming from Peter. He motioned for me to bend over so he could fuck me. I was having trouble reaching my peak the whole time. I had just gotten over some sort of stomach bug or something, and it was still in the process of feeling better. I was so afraid of something not so pleasant happening if I came, that it kind of just ruined the night for me in that regard. Which, Peter fixed for me last night when he allowed me to have several orgasms.

We plan to try it again. The more kinky one we found finished downloading yesterday, so that is in the future for us. We were supposed to play this past Saturday. But, of course, a few hours before he was to come home from work I became very ill with whatever stomach virus I had (and continued to have until Monday night). He has to work twelve hours on Saturday, so maybe I can talk him into some fun either tonight, or tomorrow before he goes to work. Or maybe not, since it seems every time I try to plan something it never works out that way. Which is why I really haven't been updating. There hasn't been a whole lot slave-related to talk about. I doubt anyone who reads this actually wants to hear me bitch about my days in general.

Hope you all are doing well! I will keep updating as much as I can! Please don't forget about me. <3

Update on life.

It's been a long time since I last updated. Nothing juicy enough has happened for me to write about, so I suppose I could just give you all a (hopefully)quick update on what has been going on.

I have been dealing with a lot as you may know. The death of my friend, as well as a few different health issues here and there (as well as Peter getting sick for several weeks in a row), so there hasn't been much time to play. And the few chances that we get, you all know about already. Peter and I ended up having a talk not too long ago. I was beginning to get frustrated with the lack of playing, and I decided to talk it out with him and ask him what was up. Honestly, I just wanted to know if he was not only interested in doing it anymore, but if he was interested in doing it with me. He was/is, he said it seemed like I started to want to play all of the time and that isn't the kind of relationship he wanted, so he practically stopped it all. He wants us to have a full passionate relationship, and for our kinky side to just be a section of it....not the whole thing. I agreed that lately I had been wanting it more than before, and I managed to narrow it down to two possible reasons: One, I've been going through a lot lately, and when I'm in that state of mind, I'm not thinking of anything else. This is true for vanilla sex as well, but I get so submerged in the head space that it takes me a little while after we are done to come back down to earth. Meaning I wouldn't feel the heartache for a little while longer. And then two, I still consider myself very new to this lifestyle so I am very eager to learn and do everything. I didn't want to stop until I was properly trained, and he had control over some aspects of me. At the time when we had this talk, I was currently taking antibiotics (for a tooth I was having work done on), therefore making my birth control ineffective, and almost immediately gave me a lovely yeast infection (I tried to get them to give me a different antibiotic that won't do that, but instead they just gave me a prescription for a yeast infection treatment). And of course by the time I was done taking my antibiotics, I was to start the placebo pills from my birth control. So basically I went two and a half weeks of not having my birth control work. So even though we were having this conversation, there was no way we could properly have fun and play.

I'm currently during my second week of birth control since all this crap, so it should be effective by now. And aside from sore knee joints and a head ache, I am ailment free. Which is excellent timing because this Saturday is our anniversary. I'm not sure what we're doing in the morning, but I do plan to give him his gift. We're having a late lunch somewhere downtown, then we will be going to a baseball game. I had told him when we were making plans that if we have a chance, I would really like to see some fireworks. Since our local baseball team does fireworks a lot after night time home games, he suggested that. I'm really excited for it!

Aside from that, things are just....going. A new company took over at Peter's job recently, and since there seems to be a lot of people working there now that have no clue what they're doing, it's taking some getting used to. For instance, Peter now works in the afternoon. Luckily my job is flexible, and my boss is allowing me to work afternoons as well so I will actually get to spend some time with Peter. All we can do is just hope that they put him back on the morning shift, I miss how we used to do things. Although waking up with him and being able to just relax in bed for a while in the morning has been really nice.

I suppose that is all for now. Like I said, there really hasn't been much to write about. The moment I have something though, I will post it! Hope everyone is doing well!

Intermission sex.

This past Sunday it was a lovely spring day, and there was a hockey game on. Peter and I sat down mid afternoon, after a nice morning at the museum, to watch the game. It wasn't going so well. When the first intermission came around, Peter pulled out his cock and told me to get to work. Right there on the couch, windows open. He told me to take my pants, panties, and bra off, but to leave my tank top on. He played with my tits as I knelt before him and sucked his cock. He got up and told me to lean over the couch so he could fuck me. The moment he slid inside of me, I lost my train of thought. Which means, I completely forgot about the windows being open (didn't remember until later when I felt a breeze on my ass). We have a very long couch, so we switched positions a lot to see where was a good place to fuck. One of my favorites was when he had me kneel on the couch and bend over the arm rest. When he was getting closer to cumming, he had me kneel on the floor. Sir told me to rub my pussy and suck his cock. I sucked and sucked until he was about to cum. He finished all over my face. His cum dripped down the frame of my glasses, down my cheeks. I licked my lips as his cum made its way to my lips. I was covered. He told me to cum for him before I could clean up. When I finally did, he wasn't done. Peter decided that he wanted to make me cum as well. I squirted all over the living room carpet. Once I finished, Peter grabbed me a towel to clean my face up. Once I had most of it wiped up, I went to the bathroom to get the towel damp and wash my face. By the time I was done, the game was already eight minutes or so into the second period. I suppose I could have been upset that I missed eight minutes, but.....I can't. I really enjoy the fun that Peter and I have together.

Tonight, we won't be able to have sex during the intermission since we're going to the game (and I'm not sure where we would be able to get away with having sex at in the arena). Our team is down in the series, and if they lose tonight, they are out of the playoffs. If they win, my god....I hope we have a little celebratory fuck when we get home.

That's all for now. Like I said, I wanted to try and update more, even if it's just a little here and there. Hopefully I'll have more soon. I keep waiting for things to calm down over here so we can actually sit down and work some sort of training out, but I swear once one thing starts to calm, something else gets crazy. We're just so....busy.